You know, despite how simple this is, this is actually a good question. And here's why. Rolled up (no Wiz Khalifa) into those six words is so much information that would generally go largely ignored but debated about with random girlriends who will create webs of deception and crocheted spider pants.
So here's what he's saying...in a nutshell.
Don't fall in love with me (because I'm really not that into you. It's not that I don't think you're a good girl. Hell, I'm here right now with you and probably enjoying myself but the truth is, I can't see myself going further than perhaps an 11pm bone session and then a 7am awkward good bye on the regular. It's not you, it's me. Though really, that's likely a lie. It's you. There's something about you that I'm just not seeing in my future. And I'm not even talking about years from now, I'm talking about next week. You're cool. And I'm sure you might be great to hang out with, but I don't want you to get your hopes or expectations up. So, I figure that if I tell you not to fall in love with me I'm covering my bases though that's complete and utter non-sense if I continue to give you the time and emotional connections that you're looking for, which I probably will do since, well I'm trying to show you my Chinaman. Point is, if we keep hanging out, I'm sure you'll create some relationship in your head that I'm hopefully pre-empting, but there's a chance that I could be selfish enough to pretend that I'm not leading you on by telling you this upfront, which technically does clear me from any wrongdoing, but still, you'll end up hurt here. And I know this because it's likely that I've done it before. Point is, run like hell, but if you do stay, just realize that I told you upfront not to fall in love with me.)
It goes a little something like that.
Haha I'm always the one who tells the guys that... but I've been told that I date like a guy...
Not sure what to make of that
i'm right with you on that one...
hahaha...great answer!! And that is definitely what that means!
Whereas when Mandy Moore says that in A Walk to Remember, she means "don't fall in love with me (because I have a terminal disease and I'll fall in love and marry you anyway, and I'll turn you from being a juvenile delinquent to being a respectable yuppy in a matter of months, after passing away and telling you that our love is like the wind). Sorry, I don't know why I thought about this.
I had a guy tell me that once, recently actually, and I was like "cool, not planning on it (because you're a little unstable for the long haul anyway, but I enjoy hanging out, and talking because your a rather interesting person, and it's too soon after a long term relationship for me to be 'falling' I'm just looking for some short term companionship/friendship)" Within 2 weeks of saying that (note: we've known each other much longer than that) he "had fallen in love with me"! I still don't know what to do, I'm very fond of him, but I thought we had an understanding, I'm not looking for extra emotional bagggage, I still haven't cleaned out of the crap from my last trip down lovers lane!
A guy said exactly that a month and a half ago. I didn't plan on falling in love with him or anything, so it was no big deal. However, he stopped calling about 3 weeks ago. Last friday, he called at 6.30 am to tell me he "loved me". Really. And he said he didn't plan on falling in love with me but stuff happens and that he was the one who had told me not to fall in love with him!
I am NOT in love with him. However, you can NEVER know why he says those things (most likely he's a douche or he's afraid of commitment) and you don't want to stay to find out. Don't waste your time. Go out with someone who does not feel the need to clarify such things and is open to the possibility of a relationship.
Yeah...that whole thing sounds sketchy as hell. I'm glad you realized it and kept moving!
And seriously, is falling in love something you can "plan"? It just happens.
I said that to my (now ex) partner three years ago. He then spent months trying to win me over and woo me, and eventually I gave in to it and we started mixing a bit of booty with our friendship. Then I started to like him and the attention he gave me, but in the end we just didn't have much in common and he turned out to very much be wanting what he couldn't have, and once he had me, started to treat me like crap. By this point it was about a year later and we'd moved in together and the whole relationship was horrible, where he didn't give a shit about being a good person to me, and I felt conned into it on the basis that who he was when we were together is NOT who he was beforehand, but stayed with him, hoping he'd become the kind, thoughtful guy he was before we got together.
We even broke up, and then he started being sweet to me again. We got back together and that was the worst mistake of my life. And I've made some doozies.
My point is, if they like you, they'll say so, and you stand a much better chance at a happy, equal relationship. Good luck!
If a guy says that to you, I say move onward and upward! It's a red flag if he says something to that effect in my book.
Wow PJ...this is one of those few awesome answers I gotta print/save in my GS file...it's this week's winner for my TRUE DAT award.
Damn.
I've been on the receiving end of this more than once.
Damn.
Glad you clarified.
Damn.
I thought it was 'cause he was afraid of commitment, but, nope.
You're right.
Damn.
thanks.
A guy told me that he didn't want it to be emotional, didn't want me falling in love with him, etc. before we jumped into bed together. We'd been good friends for a while, but were both recently out of serious relationships and not looking to date anyone. Also, there's no way I'd date him, for a number of reasons. We've hooked up several times since then, and no problem so far, but there might have been if I actually considered him datable. I'd say, if a guy tells you that and you think there's a significant chance you might fall for him, run. If he tells you that but you find it difficult to picture yourself falling for him anyway, stick around unless you start to feel otherwise.
I like to be a sap and think it means he's afraid he'll hurt you if you fall in love with him. XD Kinda dramatic, yeah, but damn, it makes for good TV. Hahaha.
so what does it mean, if they say, "Don't fall in love with me/ I'll hurt you"
~Same connotation....?
yes
He probably has a bad opinion of himself from previous relationships... Maybe he IS abusive, but he could also be very insecure and could care a lot about others...
Hey Ladies!
He's just not that into you!
Nothing more, nothing less. When will we finally get the fact that the secret to men is there is no secret?
Hmph.
I wrote a note to a guy asking if he would like to get together for a drink? I waited for a phone call but never got it. One week later, I saw him, and he massaged my neck and then later he said what that your number and I replied yest, what's up, he said "I'm good."
What does that mean, he is good with the drink or he is good with his situation right now and not looking for a change? Please give me your thoughts, I am confused.