Oh man guys suck... same thing is happening to me and has been with the same guy for months... Likes me, ignores me... is nice to me, we spend time together, then he ignores me... It's sooooo frustrating!!!! It's time to be done...

Maybe he's just busy. My guy and I will spend a ton of time together, then the next day barely text. There is at least 1 day per week where there is no communication. I love it because I can get caught up on other things without feeling like I'm an uncaring, terrible gf. Find something to get your mind off of it. If he's just being an a$$ then drop him.

ok my question won't submit but this answer is kind of related so i am leaving my story here...Ladies & Gents, please help!

I met this guy last Friday through a friend at a bar. He came up to me and told me I was absolutely beautiful. I laughed and said thank you that’s really nice of you to say. He asked me to dance, which we did jokingly, and he just hugged me for being a good sport. He bought me a drinks and sat and talked with me all night. He ask me to go back to his place, and I said I had just met him so I didn’t think that was a good idea. He knows one of my best friends very well and she assured me that it was ok, and so I went back with him. ABSOLUTELY nothing happened. We laid in bed and cuddled, it was the sweetest thing ever, like he didn’t want to let go of me. But we did nothing more than that. The next morning he had to run off to help a friend get his car out of the snow. He told me to stay and sleep and that he would call me later. He did…we chatted through txt ALL night long, literally from 6pm-4am! The next day (Sunday) he txt me again and we chatted for hours. That night he asked me to stop by before I went home, so I did. We hung out for about 2 hours…nothing happened didn’t even cuddle. We sat out the couch and chatted while watching tv. Before I left for home he asked if he could see me during the week and I said “Yeah sure.” He txted me again to make sure I got home alright and said good night. The next day, back to work, he texted me at 4:30 in the afternoon…we chatted til about 7:30, then he went to see one of our mutual friends in a boxing match and he said he would txt me afterwards. He did! At 10pm he txted me again and we chatted for about an hour until we both said we were tired and heading to bed. Again he told me he would talk to me tomorrow and said good night. Tues rolls around and he texted me after I got home from work, about 5:45pm. Again, like all the other txt he asked what my plans were for the night. I told him I was going to the gym and that was that for the night. He asked me if I wanted to do something with him later that night depending on what time we both got in from the gym. I said I would like to and we agreed on meeting up a bit after 9. I got to his place at 9:30 and at about midnight I said I should probably head back. He told me I could stay if I liked. I asked him what time he got up for work and since it was early enough for me to drive home and get ready in time I agreed to stay. So we hopped into bed and again cuddled so sweetly, seriously like he didn’t want to let go of me—ALL night long. He ended up kissing me and we kissed for some time but nothing else…then it was about 2am and he laughed saying we should probably get to sleep since we had to be up in 4 hours. We did…although we didn’t sleep well b/c the heat was so loud!! We laughed at this. The next morning we woke up and cuddled more (even though all night long I slept in his arms, he would hold my hand yadda yadda). We just laid awake refusing to want to get up but by 6:15am we had to. I threw on my shoes and sweatshirt and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to say goodbye. When I did I said have fun at work and he told me he would text me after he got out of work. I didn’t hear from him til 9pm. I was getting nervous too because this was MUCH later than usual…but he texted me after getting back from soccer. Here is the txt between us:
Him: “Hey how are you. Just got in from soccer…should have no trouble sleeping tonight ”
Me: “haha how was soccer? I went out to dinner with my parents tonight”
Him: “It was good, we had good numbers tonight. Where did you go to eat?”
Me: “Ah good, do you play for one of the local Bronx leagues? My parents belong to a country club so we ate there tonight”

He NEVER responded to me afterwards…very uncharacteristic of him. He knew I had the next day (Thurs) off so at about 9:30am on Thursday I texted him “Hey I hope you’re enjoying work b/c I am def enjoying my day off! I just got out of bed, jealous?” HE NEVER responded to me…I never heard from him yesterday. What does this mean? Everything has been going so well, no games being played, he’s been so sweet and kind and wanting to see/talk to me. What does this mean now? Also, his mom is coming out tomorrow (Sat) for a week to visit him…but I can’t imagine that’s why he is not talking to me. Answers??

Obviously, by the amount of detail you include here, you have obsessed and overanalyzed this one to death. But here's the simple truth. This guy liked you, and like all guys, wanted to have sex. He obviously was waiting for you to make the first move, when you were comfortable. But even after spending the whole night with him, you never did. So, he's on to find another nice woman, who will be comfortable initiating. Very simple. He saw this situation as being too much work, and moved on.

Ouch. But well said Gbeentheredoneit.

Obviously by all the details you write here, I can see that you are obsessing and overanalyzing way too much here. This one is simple. You both liked each other, but being a typical guy he was wanting sex, too, but it never happened. Some guys don't initiate, and this sounds like one of those. You didn't initiate anything either, and he saw this as way too much work, and moved on. Don't be offended, if that wasn't what you wanted, then you're better off that he did. And I repeat my famous word of advice in dating - NEXT!

Wow! That totally sucks! I am having the same kind of issue with a guy. He told me that he wanted to get closer to me and that I should be more aggressive and what not with him. Then I try to make plans with him and then he says that he doesnt want to date me and that he thought that he had put me in the "friend zone." How's that for a mind game. I dunno, guys are really weird sometimes.

Carly,

I went through a similar situation with a guy. No offense, I didn't analyze it as much because I learned a long time ago that actions speak louder than words. I believe that if a guy gives tons of lip service, then there ought to be actions to back it up. If he really wanted to see you that badly, no obstacle (whether it be fear, social standing, income, etc.) would hold him back. I honestly think it was one of two things.

1. Maybe the fact that you mentioned your parents are members of a country club kinda put him off, maybe making him feel like if he were to continue to see you, there is no way he could afford to take you out to places you may be used to going. Also, he may have had a previous relationship with a girl and the country club thing became an "albatross around his neck" and he's gun shy of going down that road again.

2. This is what happened in my case. You mentioned his mom was coming into town. That freaks guys out. When they've just met a girl, and their mom happens to come for a visit, oftentimes, they feel that it's easier to just "disappear" than explain to you that it's way too early to meet the folks. If his mom met you, then her entire stay would be a Spanish Inquisition on him about you, where he met you, how serious it is, etc. and guys do NOT like to discuss new girls with their parents. Even as a woman, I NEVER mention new guys to my parents until I know whether or not it's going to last longer than a month. I would not be surprised if you heard from him after his mom leaves town.

However, the WORST thing you can do, is text or phone him again. You texted him once on your day off and you don't want a man who lacks the
ba!!@ to chase YOU! Show him you are fine on your own. Either he calls or he doesn't, but save your pride and don't look like a desperate woman begging for his attention. That is very off-putting and it builds resentment in a relationship that lasts until someone gets hurt.

These are my humble opinions. In my case, he and I ended up being better as friends anyways....the fact that after four days he had our future mapped out raised SOOOOO many red flags that I almost threw-up!! haha!!

welllldamn, im going through the same situation .. =/

welllldamn, im going through the same situation .. =/

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I had been dating my man for a year before we said I love you to each other. We'd been saying it for about a month and one night he said I love you, babe goodnight. I said the same. The next day I didnt hear a word, same thing happened the day after until I got curious saw on Facebook that he'd removed every photo of us(but still said he was in a Relationship with me?) The next day I saw him on a dating site "looking for his Cowgirl"....eight months later he wants me back and will do anything to have me back. I'm giving him a second chance but today I've only had one text from him so I fear I'm going thru Deja Vu but want to keep an open mind. Hope I'm not being stupid lol.

does it matter? why do people label others based on their astrological sign? "he's is a aries? dont go out with him hes to bad tempered and head strong!". but in reality hes the most patient, and sweetest person I have ever met...astrology is bs... Seriously!!!!

People, especially guys, want what they can't have. In this culture, theres this constantly (mostly media) imposed need for, ''get it new, get it now, get it faster, stronger, better!!!!'' With that kind of pressure it's no wonder nearly nothing and no one lives up to our over-inflated expectations.

A few years ago, I had a huge crush on a guy, but I was really scared and didn't know how to tell him. So, I pretended that I didn't like him. When he would look over at me, I would look away, or if a subject was brought up about me liking him, I refuted. It's all about immaturity. Don't do what I did! Sit him down and let it all out on the table. Tell him you like him too, then kiss him! Or just do something spontaneously romantic. He's already told you that he likes you, but he could be scared. In any case, the ball is in your court and he could be waiting for you to make a move. If he doesn't respond to your advances, then he's screwing with your head and it's time to move on. No one should play like theyre in high school when theyre in a college game.

Or maybe he's just shy/embarrassed. Especially if you guys are younger, maybe even teenagers.
Young guys are crazy insecure.

i think guys should stop playing thoes game because it get me P.O!!! >:D like if you like me just tell me cuz i might like you backkk ;)

same for me i meet this guy he seems so perfect we talked for hours and hours the next day we talked for hours again and so on for the rest of the week he tells me that hes never felt this way before and he really feels me . he told me that he's told everyone about me, can't stop thinking about me and says i make him lose his breath. he just tells me the sweetest things allot the time. then he tells me he's going to Pennsylvania for a performance but he'll b talking to me the whole time .. now he hasn't texted or called like he usually does he always text-ed me at least once a day with a good night i miss you or good morning but non of that.. he told me he doesn't want to lose me and would only leave me for somethin bad.. but idk maybe he's busy

Man it is amazing how many women have a similar issue....I also am having an issue. ugh. Long story...I went to this bar with my sis, her bf and a guy I was kinda dating. Near the end of the night they all had left and I was chillin there by myself and this random guy comes up to me and tells me he has been noticing me all night and tells me I look sexy. I didnt know what to do cuz I was with someone and what not. He asked me for my number which I gave to him bcuz I have an issue with rejecting people, makes me feel like a horrible person. He text me after we left asking me to go to some party and i didnt respond, he called and i didnt respond (I figured he would get the hint). also i found out he is acquaintances with my sis bf (prob part the reason he chose to come up to me). Next day he messages me askin how its goin I say who is this (cuz I wanted him to get that he didnt make an impression for me to remember him) he tells me who he is and I say oh i dont remember you and he says thats too bad. End of convo. 2 days later he text me again askin how I am, tells me he thinks Im sexy and wants to see me again. I say im kinda seein someone and he says that doesnt surprise me and says if its the guy from the bar you should jump ship. That kinda made me mad so I didnt respond. I also found out he was persistently askin me sis bf to hook him up with me. a week and a half later he randomly text me late on a sat night just to say hey, i responded couple hours later but he didnt say anything (prob passed out). Well nothing happened with the guy I had been with at the bar and so as i thought about it I decided maybe i should give this guy a chance seeing as he clearly really wanted one. so couple days later I text him sayin who is this and he tells me the guy you met at such and such and i said thats what i thought and i said i heard you wanted to be hooked up with me...he said kinda did thought you were sexy...me: lol, wel my memory of you is a little hazy so you should meet up with me at this bar on thurs. first he said i work nights so you should see me sunday which i said i cant then he asked about that night and i said i was busy and i told him i was leavin for vaca in a few days and would be gone a week. he said he would try and make it out....i did end up seeing him that thurs and we talked for like 2-3 solid hours gettin to know eachother and havin drinks and he kissed me and that was it (he even walked me to my car and kissed me good-bye). He text me after i left sayin i find you interesting. the next day he text me just to see whats up. The next day he asked me to come have a drink with him but i was outa town already and i said how bout when i get back, he said Id like that. The next day he asked me to go drink with him but i still wasnt back so then i didnt hear from him that whole week i was gone. When i got back the next weekend i text him the next evening sayin whats up and he asked me to go get drinks with him and his friends. at one point during the eve i said i wasnt sure if i was supposed to text him or not and he said if you hadnt i would have eventually bcuz im not letting you go that easily. i ended up drinkin alot that night and things kinda happened (like everything but sex but i said no to that) next morning he called me a tease and asked what we were doing and i said lets just see what happens and he asked when he could see me again i told him i was goin to a friends bday thing then next day and he could go if he wanted. He text me that day and asked when i was goin to the event and he met up with me there just to see me even though he could only be there for 40 min (cuz he works nights). the next day he asked what i was doin the following day and i said hanging with this cute guy i met then he asked me to sleep over at his house that night and i said no so he dropped it and said lets go to the beach 2mrw and we did and after i said i was tired and he said he was goin to take a nap and asked me to join him and i said i couldnt cuz i had stuff to do. the next day he asked me to go to a movie and we did and he paid. i said that was fun and he told me he always has a good time with me when he was droppin me off at home. i didnt hear from him the next day bcuz he had some tournament and the next day i went to a concert tho he did text me to say have fun. the next two days i initiated the texting because he didnt and he usually does (once at least every other day) and i didnt hear from him the day after that but then the next day he asked me to go to the beach with him but then he fell asleep cuz it took me an hour to respond when he woke up he text and apologized and i said well what about 2mrw and he said yea. well 2mrw came and i hadnt heard from him by 3pm so i text him and said i dont get why you say you want to hang out and dont make an effort (i was kinda mad cuz he had fallen asleep on me the day before) couple hours later i get a response and he said things came up to which i said well you should have told me that and told him to have the consideration to tell me these things in the future so i am not wasting my time. he apologized then told me to come over and i said what we gonna do and he said his parents were gone and to come over i said i was busy but in a little bit I would (I knew what would happen when i finally decided to go to his house again so i decided before hand whether i wanted to have sex with him or not, which obviously since i went over there i did). He actually didnt initiate it, i did. I was there for like 3 hours and we cuddled and slept most the time i was there and he did the whole staring at me thing that he does when we hang out, kept kissing my forehead and touching my face and holding my hand.when it was close to when i had to leave he said lay with me a little longer i want to enjoy you. when i left he walked me out to my car and kissed me good-bye then as he got to his house again he came back and was said one more kiss. he text me that same night when he got off work just to say hi and then the next evening he text me to see what was up. The following day i text him to day hi and he never responded. then he text me the following day at 530am tellin me his parents were gone til 2pm and that i should come over if i want. so im thinking well chances are he wants sex at that time of the morning and I had to work from 8am-4pm so i just said im busy til 4pm. he text me sayin he works at 10pm and that i should try n stop by and that hed really like to see me right now and that he had a great time with me (i assumed he meant friday). I said i had a good time with you too but that i am not lookin for a sex buddy and i want you to know that. he said id want to sleep next to you more than sex. i said if you really want to see me then you will have to see me after for and he said ya i know. that evening he text me askin for my work schedule and so i text it to him. he didnt respond for like an hour (if you havent noticed throughout this he is slow with his phone which he told me is bcuz he doesnt carry it with him when hes in his house and he never looks at it when we are together i actually think he keeps it on silent when hes with me so i believe him) and this made me frustrated cuz he is so poor at responding so i text him sayin why do you want my sched when you dont respond back half the time, is this going somewhere, i need to know cuz i like you but i dont wana waste my time or yours. he responded with im sorry im not the most prompt i just wana know when im gona get to see you again. i said ya you are really bad with your phone, but you hardly talk to me if you want to hang out then say something and we will make plans and i told you we could hang out after 4 and you didnt seem that interested. i apologized and said he was busy in the evening and that he should have told me that earlier and i said we need to work on our communication bcuz its not workin the way it is. then he asked me to go to a movie the next day and i said id like that and i asked him what time (since our communication doesnt seem to work i wanted to have a set date) and he said call me after work. Next day I called him and he asked how my day was and what i was doin and i said the same thing and then asked him what the plan was and he said he was waitin for his mom to get home bcuz they were goin to eat with his grandma and that we might have to reschedule and that his mom had just kinda sprung that on him...i didnt know what to say cuz i was irritated but i kinda have to understand family should come first so i just said oh ok and said well let me know and i will ttyl and he said he would let me know within the hour. half hour later he text me sayin sorry about today which i figure was his way of sayin we had to resched and i said well i guess stuff happens. this was yesterday evening and i havent heard from him yet today and its already 9pm. Im just so unsure of how to read all this and yes i know i have analyzed this to death becuz i am insanely confused he seems interested but he isnt clingy like the guys im used to and he only text me once a day either daily or every other day and he doesnt want to hang out all the time like i am used to. but when he doesnt text me first i usually just dont say anything. and this may also be relavent: he hasnt had a gf in like 5 years and has just dated like 3 girls which didnt work out bcuz of them not him. like one he said they had one good weekend and then she told him she had a bf and wanted to break up with her bf and date him but he said no and one he said they had a good week and then she told him she was deploying in the army for 9 months in the next day or two so he obviously didnt want to wait. so im not sure if maybe he just isnt sure how to act and what to do since the longest relationship (of sorts, since they were only datin not bf/gf) was 1 week in the past like 5 years. we have been causally datin for the past month so technically that makes us the longest sort of relationship hes had in like 5 years. I know this is ridiculously detailed and long and i prob look really pathetic but i really really like this guy I have never connected with anyone like this, we never have weird silences, i love his personality and hanging out with him and i realized this BEFORE i slept with him which is why i did sleep with him earlier than i would normally. I dont think that hes this way bcuz hes dating other people bcuz i have been played before and i got that sour feeling in my gut and i dont get that with this guy so i dont think hes datin others. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated and any advice please!