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What does it mean when a guy tells you he'll be your hero?

It means you're dating Enrique Iglesias. Or Batman. Either way, he has a complicated relationship with his father.

Are you especially helpless looking? Wan, weepy, and weary? Do you live in a dragon's lair? Is your father an international crime boss? Are national security secrets encoded onto your DNA? Are you currently, Anonymous, being held hostage by bank robbers posing as terrorists on top of a skyscraper in Los Angeles?

Did you fall down a well?

If you answered "no" to any of these, chances are the guy is just a straight up cheesewad. Don't be surprised if he also looks you in the eyes and with a trembling mouth says "Truly, your body IS a wonderland."

He might be trying to sell you a romantic line in order to peep or squeeze your orbs of glory. But I'm willing to bet he's just a romantic, if hokey, corn puff. If you like that kind of saccharine sentiment, then awesome for you.

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8 Comments

Melissa

this made me LOL. :)

Acorn

Orbs of glory, bahaha.

Under the Clouds

hahahaha. "Either way, he has a complicated relationship with his father." Genius.

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John DeVore, you are so hot. I love your blogs.

liz

Reading this specific post brought back weird memories for me. Talk about the "good times".

Mannon

DeVore, can you be my hero? Not in a gay way, more like Wolverine. But not in that Hugh Jackman way, either.
Seriously though, here's a rule for romantic sentiments. If you say it to yourself in the mirror, and then laugh YOURSELF out of the room, it's probably not something you want to use on somebody else.

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Hey John, the other night my boyfriend called me an slut because I actually let myself loose felt comfortable with him. How can I get him to open up more? or can I a woman really get to slutty on bed for a man's taste?

Megan

Carol, your guy is weird and a prude. Dump him. Getting him to open up more will enable to to regale you with tales of how his father toilet trained him at gunpoint. Run into the arms of a man who will love your skanky/slutty ways in bed.

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