It means you really need to stop trying to listen in on his calls. You could stand to be a bit more subtle when eavesdropping. Or you could just mind your own business?
OMGDMFG, was that rude? Here's a pillow for your heart.
But seriously. When I'm in a room with other people, or a person I'm dating, I usually get up when taking a phone call. Mainly, because it's polite. I don't like it when people have phone conversations right next to me. I have also gotten up because I was having a private conversation -- with my mother, doctor, the IRS, or work.
You sound suspicious. And you need to check that. There's a reason our justice system is founded on the concept of "innocent before proven guilty." I find that most women these days reverse that. All men are guilty until proven innocent.
That is a deeply unfair way to treat yourself and the man in your life. He's always going to feel like you are corkscrewing your eyes into the back of his head. And you're always going to be paranoid.
In life, I find the simplest answers to questions to always be the right answers. It's more likely that he doesn't want to talk in your ear, or is talking to a family member or friend about a personal issue. He's probably not plotting some scandalous rendezvous with a big bosomed slattern.
Can I have my pillow back?
It could just mean he gets better reception on his cell phone outside. Depending on where you live, it can make a big difference whether you are inside a building or outside when you are trying to get a clear signal. It happens here all the time. Of course, I live in a small town out in the middle of nowhere and surrounded by cornfields so that may have something to do with it.
Or maybe he's planning a big surprise for your birthday! :-D
yeah but....what if it's a female your boyfriend is talking you, a "friend" of yours, and he's having a loooong conversation with them IN THE HOUSE (you live together), and then next thing you know he's gone outside to finish the conversation. Clearly he's saying things he doesn't want you to hear. If he's going to spend most of the phone call in the house, talking at normal volume as usual, and then "sneaks" outside to the parking lot to finish the convo, THAT's what made me feel like...uh oh, something seems wrong here. Never eavesdropped before, never had any fears/suspicions etc. until THAT moment. In the weeks after that, there was a lot of fighting, I'll just say that.
Yeah, because everyone cheats on their girlfriends with mom.
I want to remind the world that trust is a choice and if you want to have a healthy successful relationship and life you need to make the choice to trust. That means ignoring the little demons in your head telling you all the horrible things that may or may not being going on behind your back.
I'm so tired of hearing people speculate about their partners or become these needy paranoid horrible versions of themselves. A lack of trust brings out the worst in so many of us.
There is an inherit risk with trusting but ANY relationship has risk involved. If you haven't been given a reason to not trust your current partner then you go in, trust, love, and hope for the best. If you get burned, so be it. It doesn't mean it was wrong of you to love or trust, it was wrong of them to betray you.
Maybe your guy is polite and doesn't like to have phone conversations in front of people. Maybe he's private and doesn't think the world needs to know his opinion on his friends infection. Maybe he's fucking a stripper named Candi who just called saying her boss fired her. It doesn't matter.
That is a mighty fine outlook you have there, Chantelle. Good form.
Thanks :) I'm awesome.
Don't worry! If he's cheating on you, text is the way to go. Soo much sneakier and easier to lie about. Quieter too. Easy to delete. And who knows what he's typing or why there's a big smile on his face. :)
If people want to cheat, they're gonna cheat. It doesn't matter if you trust them implicitly or if they lock you in the house and forbid you to talk to members of the opposite sex.
If you're this paranoid, maybe you should ask yourself what you're doing in a relationship where there's no trust. If he gave you reason in the past to suspect, then there's something you both need to work on. If it's your own personal hangups, you need to figure out what caused it and resolve it.
Being constantly suspicious of your BF is only going to piss him off, and if he has any spine at all, he'll leave. Would you do any different if the tables were turned?
Has anyone bothered to notice that the question says he goes OUTSIDE THE HOUSE? John, how often do you leave the premises of your living space for a conversation?
You can say all you want about this girl being a paranoid lunatic. I agree with Lyssa - that is kind of weird. I'm speaking from experience here. The one time I had a boyfriend who shooed me away/locked himself in his room or elsewhere to talk on the phone WAS cheating.
I know it's always best to give people the benefit of the doubt, but really....this is sketchy.
PS - I'm trying to put myself in the boyfriend's shoes here. I've lived in a townhome for a year with three roommates - not once since I moved in have I EVER gone outside to talk on the phone. I have plenty of conversations I'd rather my roommates not hear and I wait until they're all gone, mainly because they're not stupid - they'd know if I randomly fled outside to talk that something was up.
When I'm in my parents' house, the only times I can ever remember going outside while on the phone was when I'm having a conversation I don't want them to hear.
Just sayin'.
If I'm with people and I have to take a call 90% of the time I'll leave the room, sometimes even the house,before taking it regardless of who's calling. It could be my mother calling and I'll still do it. It's not a matter of trying to hide anything from anyone, it's about being courteous. The person on the phone deserves both their privacy and my full attention and other people in the room deserve to be able to continue their conversation without having to be quiet because someone's on the phone.
Going outside the house to take a phone call is really weird. I think this girl has every right to be suspicious. No one displays that kind of behavior unless they have something to hide.
So because I used to take 75% of my phone calls on the balcony of my home I have something to hide? Maybe I prefer a distraction free setting where I can focus on the person who I'm speaking to?
Even now when I live alone I tend to take my phone calls in the bedroom where I don't have a tv on, or music, and my 4 pets aren't allowed in.
There are those of us who value our privacy and know ourselves enough to know that if we have too much going on around we can't focus on the person who we are talking to. I think that's a form of respect.
My mom used to walk circles around our home when she was on the phone because she was typically dealing with clients and projects, that's just how she worked. Everyone is different.
Speculation is such a silly, silly thing.
I'm the same way. I ALWAYS go outside to talk on the phone. I think it's rude to annoy my roomates and others in the house with a phone call. Plus, it allows me to wander, which helps my ADD self focus on the call, the conversation, and the other person. I've never cheated (always been single anyway) or done anything sketchy. Most of the time I'm just talking to my mother, but still...quieter for me, and quieter for them.
I hate phones
I think you all just answered you're own questions here...
For those of you who LEFT THE ROOM or HOUSE etc. whatever for ___% of the time...say 75-100% of the time on a normal basis, and then you went and did something completely opposite of that...then you went against your own norm.
I think the point some of us are trying to make here, is that if you have 99% of your phone convos in the house, and then one day, decide to deviate from that...it may seem weird.
It makes sense that it seems suspicious if it's NOT what someone usually does.
HOWEVER...it could be something good. Maybe the guy is planning a surprise for you or is thinking of proposing!!! Did you ever consider that?!
I hate phones too. I do, however, like the word "slattern". Classier than the "sluts" tag (urgh).
This is definitely weird. I don't know why anyone would leave the house to take a call unless there was an unnessary amount of noise that could disrupt their conversation. This guy is tricky.
I live with my boyfriend and he has never even left the room to answer his phone (Not that I listen anyway.. man to man, man to mother, man to collegue conversations are usually rather bland in my opinion).
The point is, I don't listen, but if i did - he wouldn't even care and vice versa. Even if there is nothing to be suspicious over and the call was innocent, leaving the HOUSE to take a call is a sure fire way to make your girlfriend suspicious.
John - it seems that you have been persucuted in a past relationship over phone and privacy issues because it completely skews your opinion in your advice on these matters. In my opinion, in any serious relationship you're entitled to your own amount of privacy but being overly secretive and putting passwords and boundaries on your phone/computer whatever makes it seem like you have something to hide (even if you don't). That is the message you are sending out. That is what puts the seed of doubt in our minds and THAT is why we would dump you.
hey girl i agree with you 100% my fiance is secretive when hes hiding somthing he will lockup in the bathroom to text, or go outside to talk, but when hes not hiding somthing he text and or talk around me thats when i feel suspicious. then when i start to ask him what's that all about he denies it then he puts passwords on his phone/ computer.
im just tiered of asking him to lets talk about what ever it is, he don't wont to
so im just sitting back waitin till he comes to me. now he's acting paranoid, i guest because im not asking whats going on, he wants to know what i know or thinking.
Yeah, I completely disagree with the people who say that it does not mean anything. This is because my ex bf used to walk outside of the house to take calls on his cell phone. And guess what? He was cheating on me with the girl he was talking to. Also, my sisters ex husband did the same thing when he was cheating on her. There is a reason why you feel suspicious and I am sure that it has more to do with him walking outside of the house to take calls. He is probably exhibiting other behaviour which is symptomatic of cheating and you are aware that something weird is going on. I say, trust your instincts about this situation. It is great to be able to have trust in someone but it is just naive to trust someone that does not deserve your trust. If you believe that he is cheating on you or you do not think that he is a trustworthy person then you probably should not be with him. Good luck with everything.
hey girl i agree with you 100% Been there, my fiance is secretive when hes hiding somthing he will lockup in the bathroom to text, or go outside to talk, but when hes not hiding somthing he text and or talk around me thats when i feel suspicious. then when i start to ask him what's that all about he denies it then he puts passwords on his phone/ computer.
im just tiered of asking him to lets talk about what ever it is, he don't wont to
so im just sitting back waitin till he comes to me. now he's acting paranoid, i guest because im not asking whats going on, he wants to know what i know or thinking. (what do you think Reformed player).
hey girl i agree with you 100% Been there, my fiance is secretive when hes hiding somthing he will lockup in the bathroom to text, or go outside to talk, but when hes not hiding somthing he text and or talk around me thats when i feel suspicious. then when i start to ask him what's that all about he denies it then he puts passwords on his phone/ computer.
im just tiered of asking him to lets talk about what ever it is, he don't wont to
so im just sitting back waitin till he comes to me. now he's acting paranoid, i guest because im not asking whats going on, he wants to know what i know or thinking. (what do you think Reformed player).