What, 19-year-olds can't be stressed? Guys have a lot of pressures at that age. For instance, how do you balance drinking all night, playing video games and watching an ungodly amount of porn and skateboard accident videos on Break while still maintaining a C grade point average-- No, seriously, he's probably trying to break up with you.
Or he might actually be stressed. Adjusting to college life can be stressful, and perhaps he's having a rough time of it right now. Sometimes, not having any responsibilities can be stressful. Or he might just be a neurotic person. Still, once a week? Seems a little much at his age. If you care about him, and he seems invested in the relationship, try to get him some help. Maybe he should talk to someone to help manage his stress. Perhaps there are factors in his life that need to change. Perhaps he needs counseling, medication, more sex. Stress isn't always caused by external factors like a screaming rugrat or a stack of unpaid bills-- sometimes the problem comes from within. (Suddenly I'm Mr. Miyagi over here.)
Or "I'm stressed" could be a ploy to drive you away; a tool to distance himself from you. Ask him what is causing this stress. Communicate. Offer to help, and to talk about what's bothering him. If he isn't giving you more than "I'm stressed," perhaps it's time to reevaluate this relationship.
Obviously his stress is stressing you out. First, offer to help in any way you can. Don't just assume because he's young, he doesn't know what stress is. If this doesn't work, give him some space to work it out on his own. Hopefully he'll find a way to balance his stress and include you in this life.
Also, it might help to occasionally grab him by the collar, shake him like an unruly child and say, "You are 19! You have the rest of your life to be a stress-y basket case! Go play Xbox for a while and chill the 'f' out."
Or he might actually be stressed. Adjusting to college life can be stressful, and perhaps he's having a rough time of it right now. Sometimes, not having any responsibilities can be stressful. Or he might just be a neurotic person. Still, once a week? Seems a little much at his age. If you care about him, and he seems invested in the relationship, try to get him some help. Maybe he should talk to someone to help manage his stress. Perhaps there are factors in his life that need to change. Perhaps he needs counseling, medication, more sex. Stress isn't always caused by external factors like a screaming rugrat or a stack of unpaid bills-- sometimes the problem comes from within. (Suddenly I'm Mr. Miyagi over here.)
Or "I'm stressed" could be a ploy to drive you away; a tool to distance himself from you. Ask him what is causing this stress. Communicate. Offer to help, and to talk about what's bothering him. If he isn't giving you more than "I'm stressed," perhaps it's time to reevaluate this relationship.
Obviously his stress is stressing you out. First, offer to help in any way you can. Don't just assume because he's young, he doesn't know what stress is. If this doesn't work, give him some space to work it out on his own. Hopefully he'll find a way to balance his stress and include you in this life.
Also, it might help to occasionally grab him by the collar, shake him like an unruly child and say, "You are 19! You have the rest of your life to be a stress-y basket case! Go play Xbox for a while and chill the 'f' out."
As someone who is literally drowning in reading for three college English courses, I can definitely attest that stress comes with being a college student. I think your suggestion of increasing communication, however, is a really helpful one, Nick. Talking to someone is often a good way to deal with stress, whether it helps you to organize all the things you feel pressured by, or just allows you to complain at someone about how your professor only gave you a B on a paper you slaved your life away on for an entire week.
Hey, he only knows what he knows, you know? He feels stressed. He doesn't have the objective stress meter of a 40 year old in his head to tell him how his stress factors rate against the 'real' stress he will probably feel in the future.
When you're 19, 19yo stress feels just as bad as any other stress.
Agreed. 19-year-olds have stress, and the sooner he learns to deal with it, the easier time he'll have down the line. He's starting to encounter real world things (deadlines, time management, etc.) and perhaps he isn't equipped with the tools yet to deal these sort of things.
I carried between 18 and 24 credits, worked two jobs, played 4 collegiate sports, and still found time to surf and dive. Young people are self centered, and pampered. They really do not know what stress is, and that it should not be necessarily selfish or self centered. When was the last time he helped out at a homeless shelter and told you he was stressed. Look at the last scene from Schindler's list, when the man who helped the Jew's was crying and saying "I could have done more, I could have sold my car, it would be worth two more lives." Stress is relative. It does amaze me that we live in a society with every convenience, and yet we have no time.
Yea Yea. Sounds like you don't really know what stress is, seems like it never happened to you. CHA CHA CHA, I don't really care what anyone says, stress is relative. You can get stressed from just about anything! No more food in the fridge, "damn I'm stressed." Or perhaps, no more baby diapers, "damn I'm stressed". No one can say, "you don't know what stress is". If that boy jumps off a bridge, what you going to say?
The best thing this girlfriend can do is, communicate just as everyone else has said. I'm thinking you are far older than he is, right? Sounds like it, because I can totally relate to the boyfriend. I said I'm stressed at least once an hour during my last semester of college, just because it made me feel better. And he may be saying it to you girlfriend to inform you that, "HEY, if I don't call like I usually do, or go out as often or do what ever I normally do, it's cuzz I'm stressed....bear with me, I just need to get this crap together real quick then we're back on BABE!" Or he's cheating and wants to put you on hold till he knows who he likes better.
This one was personal, I blow up when people tell me that I don't know what stress is. Cuzz if the desire to throw my body over a cliff, run into walls, eat myself out of house and home, delete all my contacts, never talk to another person again, shoot the next person that say's "how are you"? and live in a show box for the rest of my life ain't signs of stress I just don't know what is.
I remember being a college freshman. I came REALLY close to having a nervous breakdown. School is stressful, believe me. It can be insane.
The guy is stressed leave him alone now
School can be really freakin' stressful. right at this moment I am writing (well, procrastinating when I should be writing) a project that will literally decide whether I can do what I want to do with my life or if I have to drastically rethink my life plans. I'd go so far as to say uni can be one of the most stressful periods of your life.