Good question. I addressed the meaning of "It's complicated" in my guide to the new dating terms, but I think it's worth expanding on because it has such a broad connotation. By listing your relationship status as "It's complicated," you're basically admitting that your love life is kind of a mess. (Or at the very least, it's a unconventional.) You're not in a traditional relationship, but you're involved with someone in a way that is more than just dating. And you don't feel confident in listing yourself as "single," because you're kinda, sorta involved with someone.
Here are some reasons why you might list your relationship status as "It's complicated":
-- You're dating someone, but you aren't sure if it's serious. However, it's serious enough to not list yourself as single.
-- You're in a "friends with benefits" situation that occasionally feels like a relationship.
-- You're recently divorced or broken up, but still sleep with/live with your ex.
-- You're living with your gay husband who you married for the health insurance and are having an affair with a coworker.
-- You're in a love triangle with two vampires or with a vampire and a werewolf.
-- You're in an "open relationship." Is this a relationship setting on Facebook? It used to be what people put instead of "It's complicated." My guess is that people don't like the social stigma that comes with listing yourself in an open relationship (people assume you're slutty even though you may just be in a committed polyamorous relationship with two people) and opt for "It's complicated" which has a more general meaning.
-- You are in an on-again/off-again relationship. Sometimes you're together, sometimes you're apart. Either way, it's complicated.
-- You're a reporter at a major metropolitan newspaper with a crush on a superhero who wears a cape and red and blue tights. For some reason, he's always there to rescue from helicopter accidents or the nefarious plots of an evil billionaire. The only problem? You're coworker also has a thing for you. Also, your coworker kind of resembles the superhero, only with glasses.
-- You're bisexual, and seeing a man and a woman at the same time. You having feelings for both, and it's complicated.
-- You're a trained assassin trapped in a boring marriage in suburbia. If only something could spice up your love life? Well, turns out your husband is also assassin! And his target: you! Drama!
-- You are Meryl Streep and list the movie It's Complicated on your filmography.
Any other "It's complicated" scenarios?
Here are some reasons why you might list your relationship status as "It's complicated":
-- You're dating someone, but you aren't sure if it's serious. However, it's serious enough to not list yourself as single.
-- You're in a "friends with benefits" situation that occasionally feels like a relationship.
-- You're recently divorced or broken up, but still sleep with/live with your ex.
-- You're living with your gay husband who you married for the health insurance and are having an affair with a coworker.
-- You're in a love triangle with two vampires or with a vampire and a werewolf.
-- You're in an "open relationship." Is this a relationship setting on Facebook? It used to be what people put instead of "It's complicated." My guess is that people don't like the social stigma that comes with listing yourself in an open relationship (people assume you're slutty even though you may just be in a committed polyamorous relationship with two people) and opt for "It's complicated" which has a more general meaning.
-- You are in an on-again/off-again relationship. Sometimes you're together, sometimes you're apart. Either way, it's complicated.
-- You're a reporter at a major metropolitan newspaper with a crush on a superhero who wears a cape and red and blue tights. For some reason, he's always there to rescue from helicopter accidents or the nefarious plots of an evil billionaire. The only problem? You're coworker also has a thing for you. Also, your coworker kind of resembles the superhero, only with glasses.
-- You're bisexual, and seeing a man and a woman at the same time. You having feelings for both, and it's complicated.
-- You're a trained assassin trapped in a boring marriage in suburbia. If only something could spice up your love life? Well, turns out your husband is also assassin! And his target: you! Drama!
-- You are Meryl Streep and list the movie It's Complicated on your filmography.
Any other "It's complicated" scenarios?
Pffftb! Those references, you scoundrel, you :3
Nice one CG! I was laughing over the scenarios. I could totally relate to the Superman reference, nerdy glasses and all. My man's my Superman. =D
Truth be told though, my cousin was a wise woman for saying this, "There's never an 'it's complicated' status. I think it's a load of b*llsh*t! It's either you're with the person or you're not." I think she's right. Don't make the relationship complicated that you're actually settling for a complicated status. It's a lot of drama that you don't need in your life. Then again, there are a lot of people out there who love drama. I stay away from them.
Some "It's Complicated" scenarios that I know of...
-Secretly dating woman currently going through divorce and custody battle. Detectives digging for dirt. She's technically still married until divorce goes through.
-Engaged and close to wedding time but there is a woman who has just accused the fiancee of being the father of that child.
I live 1000 miles away from my husband. We are living this way do to my son needing the best docs that are in the area, there are no jobs in my husband's field in the area, the house where he is living has not sold yet. We are still a couple. That is a complicated relationship.
Nope. I don't see this as complicated. The love is there. You are still a couple, and you are holding on to each other despite the challenges. That is not complicated. That is real love.
Another "It's Complicated" You live 1000 miles away from your partner due to the fact that your child is ill, and the best docs are where you live now. Your partner is living somewhere else because no insurance that is offered in the area where your child lives will cover your child (due to a pre existing condition) other than the one your partner has at his job where he makes very good money.
You have been in love with an inanimate object, which you stole from the dead body of a friend you murdered in order to claim possession of it.
Although you are bound to it with a great pain, it's always trying to escape and get back to its first partner, even if it means seducing others with false promises along the way.
You leave society to live with it, cutting yourself off from the outside world completely.
It's given you many gifts along the way including unnatural long life, excellent night vision, a taste for raw fish meat, occasional powers of invisibility, and split personalities.
When it abandons you, you stalk your precious to the ends of the earth, willing to steal, lie, kill and going through all sorts of pain and torture, even though you know it's now with someone else.
In the end, it kills you.
Now that's complicated.
omg this is great hahaha
Love this!
I had one classic "It's Complicated" relationship in college. We met in High School, and both went to colleges outside of the town where we were from. We were involved for nearly 3 years. We were together on summer break, winter break, fall break, etc., but once we went back to school it always got to a point where I just couldn't do the distance anymore. We would always "get back together" when we were in our hometown, but eventually we'd hit splits-ville. Eventually we came to the agreement that we cared for each other deeply and to stay in each others lives, but not to be solely committed to each other. We did always agree to not "see other people." That's why we had the "It's Complicated" status, I'll never know if he truly stayed faithful, but I always did. Anyway we were young. I used to think he was "having his cake and eating it too," but now I see it as a learning experience. Needless to say we eventually stopped the "It's Complicated," thing and just stopped dating all together. He was a first love, and was totally stupid over him.
Two "It's Complicated" scenarios that most often explain it when my friends have this as their relationship status:
They have a baby together and they're trying to figure things out but really aren't suited for each other so they're in the midst of an on again/off again relationship and God only knows if they are "on" or "off" again at the beginning of the business week.
One of them wants to be together but the other is kinda "meh" about the relationship so they keep breaking up and getting back together. The "meh" one keeps changing their status from 'single' to 'in a relationship', and the devoted one keeps changing their status from 'complicated' to 'in a relationship' comparatively.
And here I was thinking "It's complicated" pretty much meant the person was married, not happily, but not leaving it either.
Love the gay husband, health insurance, and co-worker affair scenario. Priceless. :)
Nick, you are amazing!
In all seriousness, my BF and I debated on what status to use when we got back together after a short breakup. He wasn't keen on using "in a relationship" until he was sure it was going to work this time around. In addition, his domineering mother was throwing a totally fit about our reunion and he was trying to keep the peace on that front (she's still throwing a fit and so he's given up trying to keep the peace now). So, for those reasons, we went with "It's complicated" for the first few months.
I always wondered what people thought of "its complicated". I thought a lot of these same things until my relationship got classified as complicated and it is for none of these reasons. We both care very deeply for eachother but both have relationship issues we need to work out. I can't wait for the day I can change my status to "in a relationship".
I can't belive this stuff actually happens.
Or perhaps you are single but don't want to be single but don't want to advertise that you are single because you don't want to be in a relationship with some piss poor excuse of a guy who can't handle a toddler that isn't his and the father of your child doesn't want to get back with you because that would be a disaster waiting to happen. That's complicated....
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Or say that for instance the guy is technically still married (but they are long over & very unhappily "married" & is only staying around for his youngest son who is only 13 still & doesn't like the idea of losing him or him growing up under a different roof - and the women often win sole custody battles & what not you know ...), then also add the fact that he lives far far away & you've yet to officially meet in-person anyways, but have formed a close-knit relationship via phone, writing, gifts via snail mail, text, email, etc & have come to the conclusion that you both really belong together & are starting to fall in love already somehow & have such a desire to be together and are making plans of spending time together soon & dreaming about a future together & trying to figure out how to make things work & get through this & finally getting together (somehow making this distance etc work until things can really be figured out hopefully soon once & for all ... ) THAT'S COMPLICATED!!
Or say that for instance the guy is technically still married (but they are long over & very unhappily "married" & is only staying around for his youngest son who is only 13 still & doesn't like the idea of losing him or him growing up under a different roof - and the women often win sole custody battles & what not you know ...), then also add the fact that he lives far far away & you've yet to officially meet in-person anyways, but have formed a close-knit relationship via phone, writing, gifts via snail mail, text, email, etc & have come to the conclusion that you both really belong together & are starting to fall in love already somehow & have such a desire to be together and are making plans of spending time together soon & dreaming about a future together & trying to figure out how to make things work & get through this & finally getting together (somehow making this distance etc work until things can really be figured out hopefully soon once & for all ... ) THAT'S COMPLICATED!!