Rarely do I get a question with such a straightforward answer. Though the male subconscious is a mystery as fathomless as the Loch Ness Monster (in that it probably doesn't exist), there are only a handful of reasons a guy would ever exhibit this particular behavior pattern. Here's every thought that could have been going through his mind, from most likely to least likely yet most entertaining.
"Damn, boo be smokin'. Them titties like 'what what!' Oh, crap, she's looking over here--AVERT GAZE! You make me sick. How dare you objectify a woman like...hey, she didn't notice. Flash them pearlies, g. Bitches be wantin' 'dis!"
"There she is; the love of my life. I've wanted to ask her out as long as I can remember. If only she'd notice me. Oh crap, she noticed me--AVERT GAZE! You're pathetic, you miserable coward. Now grin like a tool and back slowly out of the room."
"Whoa, check out that weird looking guy. Oh, snap, I think that's a woman. Her head looks like a wombat. Oh God, it's turning this way--AVERT GAZE! You jerk. Imagine how that makes elephant woman feel. There you go, give her a smile. Okay, vomit coming up; sprint for the toilet."
"I am soooooo drunk right now."
"Observing human female. Gender seems to be identified by brightly colored garb and overdeveloped mammary glands, colloquially known as "titties like 'what what!'" Subject alerted to our presence--ALTER OCULAR TRAJECTORY! Initiate apologetic facial expression, slowly withdraw from quarters."
There are various tests by which you can determine which thought pattern your mystery man was running through his brain, but most are painful and prohibitively expensive. My best advice is that you assume he's a hostile alien cyborg and alert the proper authorities.
LOL!!
HAHAHAHAHA this site is amazing you guys all rock
Don't they though? If only I could adopt them all, hold them to my bosom, and rock them to sleep at night... *sigh*
Please note, there are pitifully few authorities equipped to deal with hostile alien cyborgs. California has it covered, they've got their own cyborg enforcer ruling with an iron fist (I like to imagine).
Check your local phone listings to find the guardian of humanity closest to your area.
lol I will put that at the top of my to do list RIGHT NOW
And California is lucky as hell, their ruler can time travel AND he protects the young...NO FAIR
"I am soooooo drunk right now." -> This made me lol, mostly because I was picturing it at the same time.
And I should try to imagine strangers as hostile alien cyborgs more often. I think it could be hilarious!
LOL! Swaim you are so cool! XD
That was very hilarious.
As of now- this is my favorite reply to a question that I have read.
Keep up your devilishly witty humour. Your woman is a lucky bitch.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
that was actually the funniest answer i've ever read. i started laughing out loud and my sister looked at me like i was crazy. thanks for the laugh haha [=
there was an entire episode of full house based off of this question. an entire half hour plot was constructed by stephanie tanner asking this question. an entire half hour.
That was honestly the best answer to any question I've read on here. You're awesome.
that was absolutely awesome, props to you sir...also enjoying the cracked.com web series, you are one busy funny man
So that means he's not into you? He's just playing off his newly aquired human social graces?
That was the funniest shiz ever
Good to know! Swaim, you're the best!
LMFAO LMFAO!
omg, where do you come up with this stuff?
LMAO!!! elephant woman..o crap its looking this way!! omg i luv u ur halarious!