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What is a cock blocker?

A cock blocker is a lot like the Latin American Chupacabra (goat-sucker) - it exists, but comes in many deft sizes and shapes.

A cock blocker - whether it's your oblivious buddy or a menacing ex girlfriend - is someone who prohibits your cock (AKA you/ even if you're female) from getting it on with a special someone. Cock blockers are only able to cock block at the inception of a relationship. They creep into the touchy feely moments or the grinding on the dance floor moments just as you're about to make your move. They destroy the vibe; they chainsaw through those exciting and non-spoken moments where flirtation turns to something more.

Sometimes the cock block is premeditated.
Example:
A jealous friend, who lingers around you and your new special someone 'til the bar closes, lurks in the parking lot and in front of her car just to ensure the mood is destroyed. The jealous cock blocker can't bare your success and is often needy. After all, if you go home with that hot cock who's going to go to Dunkin Donuts with him and mouth dive in a dozen munchkins?

Sometimes the cock block is behind your back.
Example:
You get word that your ex boyfriend is downplaying how broken up you two are, thus destroying new guys from approaching you.

And sometimes the cock block is accidental.
Example:
You and the boy pal you're crushing on are planning a cozy Downton Abbey marathon at your apartment - clearly a pretense for finally making out. After one episode the hands start crawling for each other. By episode two hair play and arm massage is in full swing. By episode three, your roommate comes barging in with explosive diarrhea and a panic attack thus - destroying everything.

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8 Comments

user-pic

And sometimes the cockblocker has good intentions because you're really drunk and he's really ugly!
Being cockblocked isn't always a bad thing, sometimes when I go out with my girlyfriends we have a designated cockblocker :)

user-pic

So true. In this situation my daughter likes to call the person doing the blocking a vagina goalie. You know, doing it for the team.

user-pic

Vagina goalie. I love it. I'm going to have to find a way to use that term.

user-pic

Its Chupacabra XD

daviskirby

My gf's and I call the female version "Twat Blocking" hahaha

user-pic

I've heard the female equivalent called clamjamming, or less politely, c**tblocking. Oh, and it doesn't just happen in the early stages of a relationship if you actually share a room with someone, especially if you have a "no sexiling" rule.

user-pic

the female version is-clam jammer.

Mike

The first thing that popped in my head to the question, "what is a cock blocker," was

Your mom.

Then I realized that it can actually be true... and works. Mom's are great for the anti-nookie.

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