There is only one way to ask your girl for nude pics. See below. And don’t say I never did anything for you, men of the world.
“O fair and beauteous maiden. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Much like it, thou art also smoking hot and go well with iced cream. Thine eyes dance like the moonlight on a rippling stream. Thy skin is like fine gossamer, and thy derriÃ¨re simply refuses to quit-eth! Would that I might capture thy naked beauty and carry it around with me every day. But, oh, such a thing is an impossibility in our time.
Although… perhaps thou would deign to allow me to photograph thy naked form with mine magic camera digitalÃ©? Or perhaps with the amazing soul-capturing device encased within mine iPhone? Of course, I would never allow the image of thy glorious bosom, creamy white thighs, and exposed lady chasm to leave mine person. The portraits would never fall into the vile clutches of, say, a pervy Geek Squad employee because I forgot to delete them from the hard drive of mine laptop. And I would never show them to mine roommate, the Duke of Doucheington, in a braggadocios manner whilst chiming, ‘Look at what I’ve been hitting, Broseph Gordon-Levitt.’ No, I shall guard them as if they were mine own man cannon.
But should thy maidenhead somehow be distributed to the world via a series of tubes, let me be drawn and quartered at midnight, let my man cannon be snipped off with garden shears, and also let mine Xbox be smasheth in a most fierce manner. Thy virtue shall be protected. This I forswear. Also, I’ll show my face and wang in the photos. It’s only fair.”