Tragically (much like a dark superhero), the things that suck about being a guy are the same exact things that make us great: our penis, manly smells and rugged features.
Our penis is a stick dangling from our body. Frankly, it’s ridiculous. How men survived in the days before boxer-briefs I’ll never understand.
We stink. Admittedly, WE like our stink, but it can make for some awkward situations come a baptismal or bosses’ daughter’s bat mitzvah.
As for our bodies in general: if you can distance yourself enough to view the male body purely from a design and aesthetics standpoint, it’s ill-conceived at best and a laughable mockery of nature at worst. On the whole, y’all are just much more compact, functional, and easier on the eyes than we are, and I think even most women would agree.
Every man shares this secret and terrible knowledge: that we are ugly, smelly beasts, living in a society where that’s only partially accepted, and the part of our body capable of experiencing the most pain is HANGING between TWO GIANT CLUBS OF MEAT.
Oh! Also, somehow, even though we’ve oppressed you guys for millennia, we allowed it to get to the point where we have to ASK to go out with you, and the fact that you might not scares the crap out of us.
So now you know. Please don’t use this knowledge for evil (I probably should have mentioned that at the beginning).