i was put in hospital by my ex husband... he even took a knife to me.. i actually let him back into the family home after this... 9 months later he hit me again... i knew then he would NEVER change and i kicked him out that was 8 months ago now and ive never been happier.. no1 deserves what these b@stards do.. and no matter how much they say they will change...they wont.. leave...run... and please for the love of god dont ever look back..

you are worth being loved and cherished.. and so am i.

I totally agree with MM on this one.

Ask yourself, who really cares what his reason is? I don't care what happened to a person before to "make them that way" there is no excuse. That's for them to figure out if they ever decide to get help. And you aren't helping by being their punching bag. Get out! Quickly! Save yourself and maybe after you aren't close enough to hit, then maybe you can save him.

Best of all if you do have kids it'll impress upon them either great fear of realationships OR that those actions are ok to do to somebody you 'love'. For the kids alone is reason enough to kick him out! Also if you aren't living near anyone who can help you there is always abused women and childrens centers and their prime roles are to help you get him away legally so you can get your life back on something good.

Definetly for sure document anything he's done to you, pictures, write it down cuz even if he never strikes you mental and emotional abuse is still abuse. I know because my mother did all 3 (physical, mental and emotional) to me while growing up and I could have let it fuck me up (that's not to say I still don't have some issues) and become just as bitter and uncaring as her. But instead I rose above it and am sweet and caring towards others, after all you get more flies with sugar than vinegar and you do get back what you put into life it just can take time to come around.

So realise 1) You don't cause his behavior, for whatever reason something spurs him to be like that but odds are it wasn't you that embedded those behaviours in him 2) You are better than whatever he tells you so be though and tell yourself everyday 'I am a worthwhile person and am better than any garbage he throws at me' and 3) You have the right to just up and leave at any point (just make sure you call some people you trust first so if he DOES freak out and call them they are less likely to rat out where you went)

And if worse comes to absolute worse call the cops! But make sure you get your life moving away from him quickly after that because if cops have to come out more than 2 for the same thing yeah they'll come but are less likely to really help you get him away for good.

It's not going to get any better, honey-bunch. It's just going to get worse. Do what you have to and get out of this. If you have kids, all the more so. Men are designed to be physically strong, and they are capable of killing women and children if they really wanted to. Don't let him sweet-talk you.

Hitting a woman isn't a relashionship trouble, it is a crime. It amazes me that you asked that question like it was such a normal thing. I'm a psichologist and please, let me advice you to look for one and talk about your situation.

i was in a abusive relationship and he hit me but never hard just slap me and stuff like that.. but after awhile he promised 2 never do it again and ever since he hasnt and i trust that he wont..so there is hope. but most men keep hitting that is true

THEY ARE COMPLETELY RIGHT! HE IS NEVER GOING TO STOP SND ITS ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE.I JUST GOT OUT OF A 4YR RELATIONSHIP MYSELF. SCARED IS WHAT I FELT DAY IN AND DAY OUT. HE WOULD HOLD MONEY, CAR PAYMENTS,BILLS OVER MY HEAD MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I COULDNT LIVE WITHOUT HIM. EMOTIONAL, PHISICAL, AND MENTAL ABUSE IS NOT OK! IT HURTS YOUR KIDS AND TAINTS THERE JUDGEMENT AND ABILITY TO SEE LIFE CAN BE OK. NOT TO BE ANGRY AND HURT BECAUSE THEY CAN FEEL LIKE YOU R PICKING THE ASS OVER THEM.YOU CAN MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN!

It may be fun to just come and say a guy who hits you just has a small dick but that's nowhere near true. Chances are he grew up in a violent home and learned no other way to treat people. While these guys ought to be hanged from their first offense (because it's never their last), they should be avoided. That's where common sense should come in for women; if a man hits you over some perceived slight, he'll definitely beat you for something he considers serious and no one deserves that. Sadly some people never learn; my grand-aunt was beat up by her then-boyfriend for the crime of another man looking at her, she never sent him to hell like he deserved and she married him spending the next SIXTY years of her life being smacked around by this piece of human shit. My daughter will never marry a man because if he touches her once, he dies. As he should.

I meant say "like this guy."

psichologist, huh? If it's your profession, you should be able to spell psychcologist. Way to go, Basil!

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Hi I am a 24 year old man and I and my ex where drunk and I think I started it but I end up rutting her up a a lil bit a couple brusises I got a bite mark till this day in my side constantly reminding me of what I did anywho her other lover hashed me with a wrench and welll I fill its fare cause they are close the reason I'm siting this is I want explain why I might have hit a girl maybe if I tell y'all I can keep it from being habit I felt powerless that's the brass tax of it I didn't grow up in a bad home or any of that I'm really a non violent nice guy I just snapped I just didn't want to feel unappreciated and powerless and imposing my power seemed at the time to be the best idea now she forgiven me she even wanted to continue dating I refused thinking that I might be avolving into an abusive man ive been trying to move on but dating another women scares me and ive never been good finding a nice guy to love but the people around her want to kill me like I'm scared most days that happened six months ago this is my take on thangs I'm not a monster because but Im lucky enough to address myself before I let the monster become me

Hi I am a 24 year old man and I and my ex where drunk and I think I started it but I end up rutting her up a a lil bit a couple brusises I got a bite mark till this day in my side constantly reminding me of what I did anywho her other lover hashed me with a wrench and welll I fill its fare cause they are close the reason I'm siting this is I want explain why I might have hit a girl maybe if I tell y'all I can keep it from being habit I felt powerless that's the brass tax of it I didn't grow up in a bad home or any of that I'm really a non violent nice guy I just snapped I just didn't want to feel unappreciated and powerless and imposing my power seemed at the time to be the best idea now she forgiven me she even wanted to continue dating I refused thinking that I might be avolving into an abusive man ive been trying to move on but dating another women scares me and ive never been good finding a nice guy to love but the people around her want to kill me like I'm scared most days that happened six months ago this is my take on thangs I'm not a monster because but Im lucky enough to address myself before I let the monster become me

This may be a if a man hit a woman blog, but I ask the question what if a woman hits a man? Also I believe there is help and hope, mostly it depends on the type of person, there are people that get frustrated and no it is no excuse to hit, then there are your hard headed I am the man your my piece of property type guys, so this is a very important disscusion, if it is somthing out of the blue get counseling, if its a ongoing thing that's happening more and more then you should find a person that loves you enough not to keep doing it.

This may be a if a man hit a woman blog, but I ask the question what if a woman hits a man? Also I believe there is help and hope, mostly it depends on the type of person, there are people that get frustrated and no it is no excuse to hit, then there are your hard headed I am the man your my piece of property type guys, so this is a very important disscusion, if it is somthing out of the blue get counseling, if its a ongoing thing that's happening more and more then you should find a person that loves you enough not to keep doing it.

i have been with this guy for a year and a half.I have to say he started as fits of anger, breaking my things, chasing my car, punching my car window. It was not until a year later that he actually hit me. I have been shoved repeated, slapped in the, nose on christmas eve, and thrown against the couch hitting my head so hard it strained all the mucles in my upper back. i have to say the progress from the first slap was pretty fast. He flipped me off the couch onto a glass coffee table, thank god it did not break. i had to end up leaving this guy and going into a subsidized housing for lack of finacial means, after he beat a door off the henges and acting like a crazed man. He seemed like such a nice guy and completly in love with me at times, then all this started cause i expected him to be responsible with mony for bills, and to stop lieing about being at work and useing pain pills. Like i said i am now out, and i encourage anyone else living with this kind of man to get out qwith the first hit. this guy has issues that were neve resolved with his mother, and he is insacure and low self ssteem, beacouse his mother left him and his father turned his back on him in later years.

i have been with this guy for a year and a half.I have to say he started as fits of anger, breaking my things, chasing my car, punching my car window. It was not until a year later that he actually hit me. I have been shoved repeated, slapped in the, nose on christmas eve, and thrown against the couch hitting my head so hard it strained all the mucles in my upper back. i have to say the progress from the first slap was pretty fast. He flipped me off the couch onto a glass coffee table, thank god it did not break. i had to end up leaving this guy and going into a subsidized housing for lack of finacial means, after he beat a door off the henges and acting like a crazed man. He seemed like such a nice guy and completly in love with me at times, then all this started cause i expected him to be responsible with mony for bills, and to stop lieing about being at work and useing pain pills. Like i said i am now out, and i encourage anyone else living with this kind of man to get out qwith the first hit. this guy has issues that were neve resolved with his mother, and he is insacure and low self ssteem, beacouse his mother left him and his father turned his back on him in later years.

I was with a man for 3 years and the first year every thing was fine.But after his ex got involved and his children lied. That's when everything started to change for the worse. He told me he was sorry and he would never do it again. It did. I have a child with this man, I tried to work things out with him. But he was more for his ex girlfriend and she is the reason he hit me. I don't care about her. It was our relationship. No woman ever deserves to be hit, regardless of his lame excuses. I have found happiness without a guy like that. I will never believe him again, he said he didn't believe in hitting women, so why me? What did I do to get hurt this bad?

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I just got out of an abusive relationship. He tried everything he could to break my spirits. He threw food at me, slapped me, forced me to ride in the back seat, and when I was in the front to look down. He forced me into thinking it was ohk to sell my body for money. I could not miss his call or else he would be mad. He didn't want me tAlking to anyone about our business. He didn't want me around family. And the odd part is, he is currently mArried and I was his girlfriend. He never apologized for hitting me instead putting the blAme and guilt on me. I felt like he wouldn't do it again but it was obvious he would. I finally talked to someone dear and they helped me realize that this was a psychological game that he was playing with me. I am so glad that I left because the next fight could have well been my last.

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(exactly what i was thinking about our resident psychologist paul! ).
Ive been in a relationship with an abusive man for over 7 years. he was 1st violent toward me only 4 weeks after we met.(grabbed me by the throat & cornered me). We were away on a holiday & I had no way to get home, it was 3am & I was in the middle of nowhere. I grabbed my bag & tried to leave, he followed me in tears apologising & I fell for it.mostly coz i had no idea how to get anywhere. I was sucked in & believed he was sorry & had never done anything like it before nor would he again. NOT SO. Over the next year, he took a beautiful vibrant happy shining strong young woman& turned me into a frightened ugly little thing with no self esteem & no strength. he did this with his fists, his degrading words,by taking away my freedon (couldnt even go to the milkbar without permission & even then I got accused of something)I wasnt allowed to see my friends or family & over time I started drinking, then using drugs.no excuses but it eased my constant pain & fear & lonliness.September laset year i got an intervention order against him on the advice of the local police & a counsellor.DO NOT DO THIS.The cops promised me i would be protected. the female officer that conned me into it & took photos of my injuries etc, lulled me into a false sense of security 7 promised shed be in court with me. i believed her - i never saw her again, he is not allowed to be within a km of me, but he continues to come and go as he pleases. ive called the cops countless times, they usually arrive over an hour later (if they come at all) & then stand around chatting while he takes what he waNTS from my house or does whatever he feels like. When i complain, they tell me"its a civil issuem take it up with yr lawyer" but gthey dont seem to understand that he is not allowed on my property &b their job is to remove him, not stand there while he steals everything after beating me almost sensless. This man is a well known career criminal about 3 times my size & the cops have only made the situation for me worse. I have even moved house but they told me the only way they could inforce the order was if i gave them my new address to pass on to the lunatic. its a crazy nasty system with very few decent people to protect women in these situations. I dont know what the answer is, yeah leave him, but who protects you when you do leave & hes so angry he is willing to kill you & the cops do nithing?

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I am 24 and my husband is.abusvie he keeps telling me.that he is the mn of the house he gets so anger to the point he chokes.me.and.I start to shake I am pregnant and he is in the army I'm scared what should.I do??? Help

I don't know what u should do ..do what you feel in your hear even if he down talsks you and says you do have nothing in life woman we are all beautiful but we stay around with these dick heads and think we can find nobody better trust me there is plenty of good guys out there but its up to u only u will learn from your mistakes

I have been with my fiancé for 6 years. We have two beautiful children togther, 5 yrs and a 4mth old. We also have children outside this relationship aged 12 & 16 both girls. He has been very abusive in the past. What has been most confusing for me is I will give as good as I get in the past but have now learnt that I cannot win or even defend myself against a man period. He last hit me 9wks ago and I kicked him out. I struggle to stay away and find myself trying to make sense of things. Other than putting his hands on me he is a great dad and even pArtner but hitting supersedes all this I know. I don't think he will ever change speaking to him he says I am as strong as he is, he has even said I am like a dude, which is bullshit I am small in frame and extremely feminine. Yes I am strong willed, with ambition and gust, but nothing like a dude. I hate that I miss our family unit, I feel very alone, confused, angry, disappointed and sometimes to blame. However I clearly understand regardless of how I shout and/or 'behave' a man should never hit a woman. He is in denial and I am about to start counciling on my own to control my anger and even rage, to become a rounded together mother, business woman and teacher...person. It is so difficult not to give in and try again but he clearly has taken no responsibilities for his action.

Well let me tell yall its not that easy to leave if ur scared out of ur mind and hurt hurt and broken at the same time. U feel like shit and u dont believe ur worth nething so why should u leave what else is there u have no family because they turned there backs on u when it started happeming and u dont have friends so what else is there. Ive been used to it a long time now and whenever someone sees the black eyes or bruises or broke nose or see the suffering they cant stand to look so they just pretend nothings happening to u aand give me the cold shoulder as of this is all my fault. Like I said everybody can tell u run leave get out but its not that easy when ir right there in the situation at the moment and later when everythings calm u just think maybe it wont happen again and when it does ur just so confused and all u can think about is why why me why can he do this and why cant I leave.....

Im nothing. He broke my arm 6 weeks ago. He has learned to hit so the marks don't show. We have 3 children. Hes so sorry. I made him, pushed, opened my mouth, talked back. He didn't do it for 1st year. Slowly moving me away from family, quit my job, sold my car. Bully. I'm so beat down I'm not sure how to leave. He abuses pills. He says it wont happen again. Honey moon. Then he spits in my face, throws food at me, then the worst he turns to our kids. Ive learned to be silent. Don't cry because he likes that. I'm scared. I try to fight back. He promises me I will be dead before I get away. He will find me and hurt whoever helps me. I'm worthless I cant save us. He is prince charming, until the doors close. 7 years. My 2 year old is acting out the abuse. I looked down on females like me. That will never be me!! What trash would let that happen. Its slowly that I lost myself. Brain washed into beliving him. Hes just a User. No one will want you!!! Hes wrong my kids want me. I'm willing to leave with the clothes on our backs. Work 3 jobs. I just need a safe way out before I'm dead.

Im nothing. He broke my arm 6 weeks ago. He has learned to hit so the marks don't show. We have 3 children. Hes so sorry. I made him, pushed, opened my mouth, talked back. He didn't do it for 1st year. Slowly moving me away from family, quit my job, sold my car. Bully. I'm so beat down I'm not sure how to leave. He abuses pills. He says it wont happen again. Honey moon. Then he spits in my face, throws food at me, then the worst he turns to our kids. Ive learned to be silent. Don't cry because he likes that. I'm scared. I try to fight back. He promises me I will be dead before I get away. He will find me and hurt whoever helps me. I'm worthless I cant save us. He is prince charming, until the doors close. 7 years. My 2 year old is acting out the abuse. I looked down on females like me. That will never be me!! What trash would let that happen. Its slowly that I lost myself. Brain washed into beliving him. Hes just a User. No one will want you!!! Hes wrong my kids want me. I'm willing to leave with the clothes on our backs. Work 3 jobs. I just need a safe way out before I'm dead.

I was pregnant when my bf started abusing me. It started out slow just grabbing and shoving me. Grabbing me by my face and then he started breaking things around the house and headbutting me. When i was 8.5 months
Pregnant he beat me with a fishing pole and threatened to kill me. Shoved me into walls and Down on stairs. He was arrested but i let him back because he was so sorry promised to never do it again. He would always cry after the abuse and tell me how much he loved me and how we were his world. After the
Incident in June he got worse instead of better he started strangling me while i was holding my daughter overtime he would just get mad he would walk over to where i was sitting on the couch and start choking me, biting me, kneeing me, pulling my hair and head putting me. All while threatening to kill me. He told me It was my fault that i provoke him and because he loved me so much he couldn't stand the thought of losing me. The last time he did it he choked me till i almost passed out and dropped my daughter. he could have easily killed me or caused brain damage with just a few more seconds of not letting go. Then he threatened to kill us all. Me my son my daughter and himself. He kept threatening but i called the police anyway. He is being criminally charged but Im sure it won't stop him. These men are sick. Literally their brains do not
Function properly and nothing can ever make it stop especially when they continue to lie and make excuses for what they've done. They can convince family and the people they work with that you the victim are the ones lying fo the outside they present themselves to be the sweetest gentlest men but to the
Victim we know different. You can protect yourself but in order to do so you must be healthy and strong enough mentally. Its hard because you love them but is love worth your life your freedom. Chris stopped letting me do anything. He not only physically abused me he mentally and emotionally abused me as well. I sought the help of a therapist. I stayed strong mentally and got away. Its still hard i wish that he could have changed but he can't even tell the truth. It hurts so much. But i cant allow my children to be raised in that environment. I won't. Its my duty to protect them its my responsibility to ensure their safety and health. I got awAy. I hope whoever is reading this is strong enough as well because you are worth so much more. And it will be hard but time heals all wounds. You will be ok. Ps my abusers name is Chris David Turvey. I am writing that to warn those who get involved. These men cannot be cured. They will continue to abuse whomever they are with. Unfortunately their fate cannot be saved.

Hi I'm 17 me and my current bf have been dating for 2 and a half years for the last year and a half, every time we have a fight he hits me( never in the face), throws me around In to things or most commonly strangles me. I don't know what to do he always says he Is sorry and that he will never do it again but I just don't know what to do, I don't believe him, and every one says to leave him, but I love him so much and I'm so young I have never had another bf I wouldn't know what I would do with out him

if a man puts his hands on you, especially when pregnant get the hell away from him!! wtf are you women thinking seriously?? if you let a man get away wiv it once your sayin 'yeah when ur angry just use me as a punch bag' and then question why they do it!! you have to take responsibility to leave!! your responsible for your reactions to his actions.... yes i was in an abusive relationship, i was battered physically, emotionally and mentally. its my job to keep me safe, i am allowed to choose how i live, how i dress and not be scared in my own home. domestic violence hits at the core of society, when anything bad happens to us we go home for safety and reassurance when that is taken from us wot do we have?? choose to live..... any man who hit me again would never do it again...im not how i was. im stronger, i hold no hate.... im at peace wiv alot of councelling... not to ask why but to learn from my behaviour not HIS! to fix ME not him. concentrate on what i want not wot he wanted. i dont care wot he wants.... yeah at times it was hard not to feel sorry for him.

he is the aggressor and then the victim... dont fall for it. if it feels wrong then it probably is. dont be a hero. ur not his mum, his dr, his saviour.. ur supposed to be equal how is domestic violence equal? its bullying in its worse form! i never once put my hand on my EX husband but in self defence whilst he was trying to strangle me wiv my 5 week old baby layin on me!! get the fcuk out whilst you have a choice!!

Miss Jane & Jane Doe, you have truly put this whole situation in perspective. Reading your experiences and especially how you managed to stay strong has made something tick in me. I have to understand the bullying which has taken place and take responsibility for me and my children's safety.

Im a mother of one...a two year old. I almost been with this guy for five years....the first years was good....we moved in together and everything...everysince he been trying to control me....he acts like whatever i say or do discust him. He never really starting hitting me until this year.....and its like i wanna leave so bad cuz i feel trapped like there is no way out...he recently scratched up my face..

I feel for you mx bet me and cute me with a knife then trough me out on rhe street

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wtf

I am confused,my boyfriend and I have been in a turbulent relationship for three years. I am a piece of work in that I am clever and see through untruths and don't let things go.i demand respect regarding times when a time has been promised and I am cooking dinner etc and get annoyed if I am disregarded. Our arguments are very vocal and nasty which usually results in a grab around e neck from him ,pushing around ,throwing to floor and last night was a plate shoved in my face resulting in lacerated nose,thereafter it is always because I have pushed and pushed and demanded and he has a point so I am confused whether the outbursts can be explained as sheer frustration or whether it is more than that. We can go for months without that behavior. Otherwise he is generally cold towards me doesn't like to kiss and cuddle so whether again that's just me being to smothering or not ?

My boyfriend and I have very heated arguments,it's usually as a result of him pushing the boundaries or my insecurity.however when we argue we are both neither the type to back down so quite often it will result in things being thrown etc and more often than not him ,grabbing me by the throat,throwing me on the floor,holding a knife to my neck and last nights was a tipped plate in my face resulting in a lacerated nose.we can go months without these flare ups but when it turns bad it really does. I once found out he had been sexting someone ,when it blew up I got pushed to the floor and spat on.
When it's good it really feels like its getting somewhere but leaps back are big.
So is this abuse or should I not 'push and demand so much 'apparently .?

The father of my child hits me beats me throws food at me spits in my face says I'm crazy and a bad mom. Breaks my stuff and kicks me out of our home he keeps my baby from me and I have no where to go. He always blames me and takes no fault he does not even say sorry to me. If I try and tell him to stop hitting me and his not mad hell say hell never do it again then five minutes later hit me while my baby screams he will never change he's in jail right now but he'll get out in a few days and I'm still here because there's no where I can run, I'm stuck.

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