A wee bonus answer, cause A/ I am bored and B/ I think this lady needs an answer like right now.
Go here, read it and understand it. Yeah, it is a friend of mine - you have seen his artwork before, he sometimes does drawings for my blogs. And yeah, he understands depression.
Depression really, honestly needs help to cure, so check if your college has a medical clinic for students. Even in the Land of the Fee there are free clinics still - check your state for details. Won't lie to you - it is a long and often painful process.
There are things you can do to reduce the effects though, though they require something that is in short supply for you right now. Willpower. That is not an insult, just a simple statement of fact. Getting out of bed is like climbing Everest. Using only one arm. You don't need me to tell you that. You also don't need the touchy feely crap. So here we go.
Exercise every goddamned day
As annoying as it is to agree with the vain, self obsessed gym jocks, exercise works as a mood enhancer. Walk. Run. Lift weights. Learn to tear a guys head off and spit down his neck. Get off yer arse and do something. Me - I fly. Hang gliders usually, flying suits when I feel particularly fit and stupid. Or fight, of course. That is always fun.
Eat Healthy
Worst thing about depression. You stop giving a sh*t about anything, including what you shove into your mouth to fuel you. Any crap will do, and the more sugar the better, right? That is total balls too. I know the temptation is there to just shovel any old crap in your mouth, but no. Take the time to eat right. It helps a lot more than you realize.
Make some rest time
"Dude, I get home and crawl into bed. You are being dumb."
Sleep is not rest. Gonna bet you don't sleep that well anyway. You need to learn to shut your mind off and simply be for a while. Would you treat an animal the way you treat yourself?
Didn't think so.
Yet you are as deserving of consideration as a cat, or a dog or a horse. Think on that for a bit and see where it gets you.
Get your a*s out
The second hardest thing you can do. Go out. Be with people. Help people. Depression thrives in solitude. One of the most common treatments for combat fatigue - what you would call PTSD - is mixed wards. Not mixed sexes, but a mix of badly injured and PTSD sufferers. It takes you out of yourself. Makes that little voice in your head shut up for a while.
Tell that Negative Nellie in your head to take a hike
You know that voice you hear? The one telling you that you are a worthless screw up no matter what? That ain't you. You listen to it cause it is there, whispering in your mind all the time.
Yon voice is the depression talking. Not you. Tell the sod in no uncertain terms to put up or shut up. You are, quite simply, better than that.
Now, I am gonna bookmark this answer and check it every couple of days. You need more, hit me up in the comments and I'll try.
That is all we can ever do - try.
Good luck
That was a fantastic comic you linked. Also, great advice. :D
Yes, go to the student health clinic, it should be free, get checked out. At least track your feelings/depression levels in a daytimer. You may find that your symptoms could be PMS-related and/or weather-related (SAD -- seasonal affective disorder -- that's as easy to treat as getting those corrected "sunlight" light bulbs). Get walking, eat better, sleep -- all the right things to do. And help others by even a little volunteering or tutoring at school, take some kind of an art or creative course in something once or twice a month even if you're super busy that's got nothing to do with work or school, but it's something YOU are interested in -- get outside of yourself as much as possible doing positive things with positive people. Do NOT drink or do drugs. Majorly depressive moves.
I actually cried a bit because this is the first time anyone I've reached out to has listened and told me what I can do, instead of telling me its just a phase that I'll get over. It helps because when you hear things like that so much, you start to believe it's your fault you feel this way.
It's more difficult because I don't act out like others my age might, so no one believes me when I tell them how bad things have gotten. I don't cut myself up. I don't go out and drink, and party, and do drugs or any of that shit. I just kind of force myself to operate, so no one ever believes that I need help.
I'm gonna start doing everything I can on this list today. And when classes start again Wednesday, my ass will be down at the clinic to find some help.
Don't cry. Just fix it.
Ain't nothing in life that is unfixable.
So true, MM! Once again, great answer!
I have depression also and anxiety. I know what you mean by people saying just get over it. It's not that simple and will take baby steps to help and fix. I've been in therapy for 4 months and am no where near better. I am better than I was 4 months ago, I have good days and bad. Depression will also help you figure out who your true friends are and who aren't. I've lost a few friends due to it but I have also found out who the ones who truly love me are. They stick by you and push you when you need it. Get help. And keep telling yourself that you're an awesome person, beautiful inside and out, and IT IS TRUE! I know its hard to believe, I don't even believe it sometimes, but its true. Get help please. Friends are still awesome but professional help is what we need. And theres nothing wrong with being depressed, its not your fault sweetie. There must be free therapist out there or talk to a therapist in your area and see if they can work with you.
Great information, any advise to my son, 24 who is going through some hard times; worried over his future, job, girl friend, past friends, etc. Mainly though his stepfather; my husband has treated him like crap since the day he met in when he was 4 years old. He never has been there for him nor ever made him feel special and now he is trying to reach him and still my husband treats him like he doesn't even exist. Yet he loves our daughter and treats her like a queen.. Because of all this my son has horrible panic attacks and very low esteem right now.. He starts therapy wednesday but because he lives out of town I am concerned because we will see each other only every few weeks..A concerned mom.
Lady, how could you let this so called "man" treat your son that way and get away with it? He should have been out of your life the first time he pulled that crap! The p*nis is not worth it if it means your child's life is destroyed!
Your the woman from the Wise-Ass question, aren't you? Sickening.
You love your boy? Be there for him.
Look, I ain't the right guy to ask. Have no conscience and less remorse and I really don't get the interpersonal crap. You ain't blood, I really don't care. You are blood I will rip apart the world on your say so.
Basic, primitive, but I do get duty. Your duty is to be there for your boy. End of story. It ain't exactly rocket science - but it works.
Yeah got it.. Thought I was talking to wise guy. not mystery man.. No advise on the husband.. Thanks for nothing.. Anyone else have any advise?
Maybe start putting your son ahead of your husband in your list of priorities. I believe that's what MM was getting at. I'm sorry to say this, but I was kind of shocked at how flippantly you described how horribly your husband has treated your son since he was a preschooler. Like, really? You let that shit continue for 20 years? I believe that you're concerned about your son, but it's not what you feel that matters, it's what you do.
Stand up to your husband and explain to him that if he doesn't start treating your son, your flesh and blood that you bore from your own womb, for God sakes, with love and respect, you're done with him. Tell him he needs to make amends and begin a healthy relationship with your son. It may not make up for 20 years of crap, but it would help.
Interesting that he treats "our" (I'm assuming he was the father) daughter like a queen. Not fair. If he loved you enough to marry you, that love should have spread to your son, which is an extension of you. Again, I'm sorry to be so frank, but what you wrote really disturbs me and makes me feel very, very sad for your son.
Wait, that's kind of confusing. You say you don't care because they aren't "blood" (I assume you mean related to you), yet you took the time to write a comment to help...
I don't know, man. Kinda seems like care.
No, no, he's not saying he doesn't care about the woman's question . . . he's explaining how he feels about people in his own life. So, basically, he's trying to say that if it were his own son (blood-related) then that child would take precedence over someone who was not blood-related (the husband, who obviously is not the father of the son).
MM, you have no idea how much I wish I had had someone like you to tell me this exact stuff five years ago. Please, don't ever change!
And to the OP, pay attention to what the man says...take it from one who knows, it really works!!! And the most important thing I've learned in the last year is that it is OK to ask for help, and to accept it when it's offered.
So, no clinic at my school. Yay, Community college... But I gotta do something, so if that means I put myself into debt doing it, I just really have no choice anymore. Whatever it takes, this is going to be the year that things change.
You will do well.
That was not a request.
Yessir. I'm trying. Even before I really resolved to fix this, I was trying. I wanted to be alone on New Years Eve, but I went out anyway. So I can at least mark one thing off of your list already. Going out when I don't feel like it.
Also, I would like to thank you for something here... There's some precious ammo here you gave me.. I started reading that webcomic... It sparked a little something in me that's been gone for a long time. I'm an artist, and I think I'm going to try and share that with the world in the form of my own webcomic. Maybe that can be my time to shut off and just be. I know that wasn't the point of the webcomic you linked, but hell. I ain't complaining about that.
I just run on instinct. Linked you to Kevin's webcomic because that was appropriate.
I know many artists, many more writers. Ain't none of us undamaged. Link me your stuff.
http://sweet-lil-nano.deviantart.com/gallery/
That's my stuff. It's all childish and nerdy, but there is my art and poems. The things I'm proud of in my life.
Some of us are more damaged then others :P Glad you enjoyed the comic. Good luck with your art
WOW. The artist. Coolness!!! ;)
As someone with bi-polar disorder, seasonal affective disorder, and adhd, I know how you feel. The student clinic is a great place to start, also your family doctor can refer you to somone, many places have a sliding scale fee or scholarships for those who can't afford treatment, also clergy memebers are good to talk to and they keep things to themselves the same as a counsler does. Dont hestitate to take meds if you need them, and I too hate the "Get over it" b.s. if it were that easy then there would be no reason for Psychiatric medicine. Also Emergency Rooms cannot deny treatment because you can't pay, if you go to the ER with sever anxiety depression etc they will page the Pyschiatrist on call and get you evaluated, thats how I found out I had bipolar I had to be hospitlized for depression.
Ive spent years in therapy but I am so much better than I was, at least I now have healthy coping tools.. somedays I just say to heck with it and give into my depression but those days are a lot less than they used to be.
Hang in there, it will get better.. hugs and luck to you
Day two of trying to beat this, and I hit another snag: Sever (hyperventalating) anxiety attacks. I can usually tell when they are coming, but I usually can't stop them. When they happen, I curl up tight and hyperventilate, and the only reason I was okay during them is because my ex was there to force me to open up and breathe and talk to him, and he made sure I was okay. Now I don't have that, and I'm scared. I know what could happen if I'm alone when it happens.
One thing my therapist has told me with my anxiety is try to reason with yourself. Figure out WHY you're feeling the way you are and then figure out all the possible outcomes good or bad and go from there. Another thing you can do, before you let it get that bad is take your mind off things (do a puzzle, do artwork, etc).
I used to be depressed. Therapy really helped even though it cost alot. Good luck on your journey to becoming better.
Are you religious at all? Sometimes I get severely depressed and I'm not insured and cannot afford doctor visits or medications, but my Catholic priest is always available to talk with me (for free).
I don't know how other religions do it, but I'm sure if you looked up some churches they can either get you in to talk to a priest or maybe they know of free programs that are available. My priest doesn't get all "preachy" or even really get into religion much at all, but he helps because he talks with me and helps me to work things out.
If you like anonymity you can always call to find out. Otherwise, show up at the end of a mass (I know Catholic churches hold them daily and weekday masses are usually about 30 - 40 mins long) and "corner" the priest and just explain to him you NEED to talk to someone.
I'm not religious, unfortunately. Used to be, but even then I had a distinct aversion to churches, and the heads of them, simply because all I've ever run into is the preachy, you're-going-to-hell for being bi, having premarital sex, and stuff like that. I don't trust organized religion, though I do admit it helps some people.
check www.211.org for a 211 near you. Call them and they'll be able to look up free or low cost clinics nearby. If it's something biological (or biological and environment induced- childhood trauma stuff) anti-depressants should be a giant help, especially combined with therapy. Generic anti-depressants work well (at least Celexa- generic lexipro) worked wonders for me and costs about 10 dollars a month without insurance. There may also be programs near you that help pay for medication. Of course everything Mystery man said is crucial too, he couldn't be more spot on.
Good luck :) you can fight it!