You answered your own question: it's not a deal-breaker. He doesn't like doing it for whatever reason and you never made it seem like a big enough deal to you that he should get over his lack of desire to pleasure your feather.
While I don't know many guys who just refuse to go downtown, I do know of a few. And these guys are just not fans or had a traumatic experience with some stanky stank at some point in their lives. Now, they're still men so they're not going to run from the lovepocket but they refuse to do the nosedive. They do still expect a non-sucka free existence from you all despite not being willing to reciprocate.
This is problem, hear you roar.
Only if a woman makes a man realize how important it is to her to receive that same kind of pleasure will most guys relent (well, of the guys who don't get down with "the scuba"). The fact that you continued on in amour with your beau despite his lack of lowlove signaled to him that it wasn't that important to you and that he didn't have to do it. And since he probably didn't like to do it in the first place, he was in tongue-tied heaven. So that's why - you never made him feel like he needed to.
It was written.
I say don't give him oral either. Tell him that it bothers you and that you would like it if he did it. Then stop giving him blow jobs altogether, if he asks for one, tell him that since he doesn't feel the need to give you oral sex, why should you give it to him ever again? He sounds like a selfish jackass to me, no offense since he is your husband but personally I would never marry a man too selfish to care about my sexual pleasure.
that's just a tiny bit unfair, if and only i she's never made it known to him that she wanted it. guys can be a bit dense, and some of them would be happy to do the oral thing but they wait for some sort of signal that they should. and if they never get that signal they might assume they it's not wanted. other times they don't want to and are selfish and look for any excuse not to, including "well, you haven't asked" either way one would need more information to label this guy a "selfish jackass"