The real question here is, "Why are you sleeping in the same bed with your "ex of 5 months?"" Maybe he's confused as to why that's happening, and he's responding with the confusing cuddle behavior that you described. Also, you slept with him in this manner two nights in a row? One night of awkward non-sexual cuddling wasn't, well, awkward enough for you?

LOL @ Carly - "One night of awkward non-sexual cuddling wasn't, well, awkward enough for you?"

I agree. I think now is the time to get in or get out.

LOL @ Carly's last question.

I think now is the right time to officially cut things off or rekindle what used to be.

OOps. I commented 3 times. Sorry, my computer is slow.

Yeah see the problem is that I am still really into him..so i kind of went with it because it was comforting and well..i liked it even though i know it set me back in the getting over him department....and he ended it so i was hoping the cuddling meant something emotional from him but maybe that's silly?

Its hard when you still have the feelings for someone, who throws you mixed confusing signals. You have feelings for your ex, perfectly normal, honestly it sounds more like that his is wanting the friends with benefits package from you. Why? he knows you, you are safe, and why go out hunting for another girl to bring home when he knows that you will show up? He is hoping that by cuddling he will get the green light from you and hit that home run he doesn't want to rub out himself!

Once he gets it he will stop cuddling you and leave you more confused. My suggestion is, as hard as it really is, you need to do your own thing and not have him included with it. Stop going and spending the night with him, this is only going to leave you more heart broken and you won't get over it, instead you will begin to obsess with well we cuddled and he was definitely interested, well his member was anyways.

You wont be able to move on..He broke up with you and now he is wanting you to stay the night with no relationship ties but clearly shows he is sexually interested in you. Clear Red Flag of GTFO. You are better than this you will survive and you will find a guy who cuddles with you on his own will when you are in a relationship.

All he is looking for is a score for the night!! He knows you are still interested in him and he is playing on that note! Hoping that after he cuddles with you a few nights you will give in and he will get what he wants. He doesn't have to pretend MUCH, since you know him he doesn't worry about how he needs to act, he just needs to play the right card and that is exactly what he is doing now, he didn't cuddle with you in the relationship when together, but now he is when you aren't a couple? This sounds more of a player and douche move to me.

Go out and do some girly things for yourself treat yourself and when your ready Find that guy who will automatically cuddle next to you when you sleep, and not just for a card to get you to let him in your V Door. Just keep in mind not all guys are affectionate cuddlers, most when they hit the pillow are out for the count unless they know there is some exciting action in the works. lol Don't get me wrong there are guys who are very affectionate before dozing off to sleep. My man is one of them Regardless if sex is involved or not, it just depends on the guy.

Thanks for the advice everyone I really needed it! Now that you guys mentioned it, I think he might just be wanting some closeness and someone to comfort him but your right that's a girlfriend duty that he doesn't deserve from me anymore. If it really was him trying to say he cared for me, he would want to get back together and would have said so. Guess if I do need to crash at his place in future I'm taking the couch :/

Thanks for the advice everyone I really needed it! Now that you guys mentioned it, I think he might just be wanting some closeness and someone to comfort him but your right that's a girlfriend duty that he doesn't deserve from me anymore. If it really was him trying to say he cared for me, he would want to get back together and would have said so. Guess if I do need to crash at his place in future I'm taking the couch :/

This is one of the most eye-opening threads about male behavior in relationships (err, pseudo relationships) that I have read in a while. Jennifer, I hope everything works out for you.

Thanks! this has been so helpful getting all this advice from everyone. my ex has always done weird things such as the cuddling and ive never been able to figure out what his deal is so it was great hearing everyone's take on his behavior. Hes one of those guys who had a high school relationship that " damaged him" because she cheated on him ect. and so now he wants to be alone and not ever get married or have kids. Yet despite what he says he can't stay away from me and always pulls stuff like the cuddling thing. I haven't met any guy in a similar situation and no one has been able to explain his behavior to me. He drinks and says things like, no one is you, and even akwardly admitted to me that he once masturbated before he knew he was going to see me because he was trying to not be attracted to me hahah now thats a new one! So any thoughts on what you think are amazingly helpful because ive been on and off with him for 3 years

I think the cuddling might be easily explained. Some people love the warmth and comfort they get from it. My 17 yr old daughter craves it when she hasn't cuddled for a few days. She will never date a non-cuddler.

In spite of some comments on this which belie the notion of commitment phobia, I do believe it exists- though I'm betting it is often used as a catch all diagnoses for asshole guys.

I know a young guy who loves a girl very much and cannot bear the thought of living without her, but the anxiety he feels when having to commit is real. He loses sleep, has stomach problems and thinks about her all the time. So he plays red-light green-light with her. He is a very nice, intelligent and very functional guy without any real glaring oddities other than this. AND he loves to cuddle and falls asleep easiest when she is in his arms. There is nothing remarkable in his past that damaged him. Even he is perplexed by his behavior. Her friends want her to cut ties but she loves him. I must admit that when the green lights are on, he is awesome. I have tried hard to dislike this guy because of how he impacts my friend but I can't hate him.

Jennifer, I think your guy needs to experience what it is really like without you. If you truly take a step back and let him feel the break-up he can be alone like he wanted. Maybe he does want that. If you keep stepping back into his game where he feels comfortable, it might always be at your cost.