Unless your guy is joining the Peace Corps and headed to Ghana for the next five years, it probably means one of two things:
1. He wants to play the field, but he's calling it a break instead of a breakup in case no one else will touch him and he needs to come back to you.
If you're okay with being a fallback, fine. He loses points in my book, though, for not being forthcoming about his motives. "Taking a break" suggests that you've done something to turn him off, and if his only wish is to see other people, he shouldn't make it seem like it's your fault.
2. He's breaking up with you but trying to let you down easily.
This might be admirable if it didn't include an implied promise that you still have a future together when he knows you don't. Again, points off for dishonesty despite good intentions.
Guys who are crazy about their girlfriends will not ask for, or even think about, taking a break. Did you stop three bites into your Thanksgiving meal and say, "This is great but I think I'll take a break from it?" Yeah, neither did I. We gobbled that shit up.
He owes you an honest explanation. I'd ask him for one.
great answer!
I've never understood the whole "take a break" thing myself. If I want a break, it means I want out. Hell, you'll be lucky if i ever call you again.
Why not just tell her you don't wanna be with her anymore? Geeez. Man up.
Yeah. Sadly, a very good friend of mine was telling me last night on the phone that she and her boyfriend of 3 months, after spending every day together since meeting, have decided to spend M/W/F/Sat together and Sun/T/Th at their respective places, for, you know, "giving him his personal space." I was like "hey, whatever works for you haha." Ugh.
I have no way of relating to that and, truly, I think if you're strictly negotiating time away from one another or if he's using the phrases "time apart," "take a break," or "personal space," then the situation is not going to end well 99% of the time. Sorry.
It means exactly the same thing as when a woman says it. It's often accompanied by 'It's not you, it's me', and many other recognisable phrases commonly used to avoid tears and conflict.
LOL at "We gobbled that shit up" ...
I wanna take a break = "I'm a punk azz that doesn't know how to break it off with you. Oh, and I'm hoping to get some every now and then while you hang on to hope of us having a future. You're cool with that right? " smh.
I think "I want to take a break" is a persons way of saying "I might have found someone I like better than you, I just don't want to completely end things with you until I know I can get something from this other person, and if it doesn't work out I know you'll be waiting for me."
Good answer. Yes, if he wants to take a break, you deserve to know why. Also, while he is "on break," I wouldn't sit around and wait for him to come back from it either. Sounds like a good time for you to get out and meet some new people. He no longer has time for you, so take the opportunity to find someone who does.
It means you're now SINGLE. Don't think of it as getting dumped. That just sucks...think of it as an amazing opportunity to meet some exciting and MUCH more interesting guys. The world is full of them honey...don't waste any more your time on someone who is so obviously wishy-washy.
Holy shit, Panama you're harsh! But ... agreed. He probably won't call you again
I'm going through the same thing...except my boyfriend and I are long distance. We had a pretty huge argument the other week, and he later decided we needed to just "play things by ear" because he was getting too stressed...after 8 months. I was stressed too, but I'm also not a putz, so I don't bail out and cry every time a relationship involves a bit of manual labor. Granted, we now have COMPLETELY opposite work schedules, and we're 2 hours apart...so it WAS rather stressful. But, I figured with the "break", it would mean I wouldn't be hearing from him as much, if at all...but, ever since he declared this "break"...he calls me more than he did when we were "together." Which is almost even more confusing. If he wanted the break, then why the Hell are you calling me more than you did before our little separation? I don't think the break was intended so that he could see other girls. We're long distance--so, it's not like he wouldn't be able to hide that from me without going on a "break." He also asked if he can still come to my family functions and Christmas gatherings, and still wants me to come to his. So, I'm all kinds of confused. I'm right there with you.
I would like to take this time to reiterate my previous comment just in case you didn't read it:
I think "I want to take a break" is a persons way of saying "I might have found someone I like better than you, I just don't want to completely end things with you until I know I can get something from this other person, and if it doesn't work out I know you'll be waiting for me."
The whole thing with him trying to still be in your life, is probably to make sure YOU don't find someone else while he might have already done so, it's just too early for him to tell.
Who knows, you may be the acception to the rule, but I wouldn't bet on it.
I think you're probably right, especially if long distance is concerned. Sorry dpain, it's really not a good sign.
Agreed. Sounds like you're just being taken along for a ride. He's using the "best of both worlds" play, being free and having someone special.
I'd say Ok to the guy and it's his loss and never look back. If he needs to take a "break" this early on in the relationship it either means he is not that interested in you, wants to keep his options open, or when things get tough , he will bolt ! Who wants a man like that. You will find someone else that Wants to be with you.
Sometimes, when someone says "We need to take a break!" It really means, let's step back a few steps in this relationship and see exactly where we are going cause this is just too much too quick. And do just that...step back and give yourself much needed breathing room. If he loves you, and you will know if he does or not ladies. He will keep calling you and seeing you...if not MORE, since he is the one who is calling for this. This is a man's cry for..."HELP!! I'm falling in love too quick!!" in most cases, if he's been a jerk for quite some time, and asks for a break...it means he just doesn't care about what YOU want and let's just move on.. This is all about HIM! too hard to comprehend?
What you said!
I don't understand this expression very well. My new boyfriend of 4 weeks texted me ( after i did not hear from him for 8days, including Valentain's day and holiday and also right before he went out of country for seeing his family for a week), and said, "..have been doing a lot of thinking this last week and think we should take a break from each other." and he added that he needs to focus on a lot of different and serious things going on at the same time right now and will give me a call when he's back from his trip. We were seeing about once a week base and are 30 miles away. He was very very nice to me the whole time I was with him, always gentleman, respectable, and caring to me and to others. The last time I saw him was when he came over to my place and helped me with my car problem and took me out for dinner. And we went to a movie afterwards, he was holding my hand in a theater and car whole time and had a good time. Then I got this text message in 8 days. I'm confused.
well thats what my "boyfriend" or "ex-boyfriend" or what ever you want to call him told me on Sunday..and i have just been sitting here like i dnt know wat to do with myself anymore.i feel kinda lost..
I met this man about 6 weeks ago and as soon as we layed eyes on each other it was like instant OMG. We laughed, talked, went out several times, met his kids and not to mentioned we lived a little over an hour away. He called me every morning and every evening and sometimes text me thru the day. Things were never better between us we just clicked. About a week ago he decided we needed to take a break said Bye and hung up without me even getting a chance to respond. He won't return my calls or texts. He did finally return my email and said it was money and kids it wasn't going to work....I was floored. Should i continue on with my life or give him some time....
i had a boyfriend since May 2008 but we never understand each other, we have two different lifestyle. At the end of last year we broke up and we get back together. My problem was i don't call him it is him who keeps calling me and he keeps telling me that i am not romantic, i don't know why i stop calling him for some reasons. And nowadays everytime he got mad he keeps telling me that he don't want me for his future life. So, after that i became worst i don't even call him, he is the one who keeps calling me. Last week, we argue because i told him why you didn't give me a hug and before that week he came home and my roommate was sleeping so he said if she is sleeping i will go home and I told him why you are going home, did you come for her. So now he mixed those two issues and said to me " there is nothing between us so we need a break and let us see who is wrong.:
Writi had a boyfriend since May 2008 but we never understand each other, we have two different lifestyle. At the end of last year we broke up and we get back together. My problem was i don't call him it is him who keeps calling me and he keeps telling me that i am not romantic, i don't know why i stop calling him for some reasons. And nowadays everytime he got mad he keeps telling me that he don't want me for his future life. So, after that i became worst i don't even call him, he is the one who keeps calling me. Last week, we argue because i told him why you didn't give me a hug and before that week he came home and my roommate was sleeping so he said if she is sleeping i will go home and I told him why you are going home, did you come for her. So now he mixed those two issues and said to me " there is nothing between us so we need a break and let us see who is wronge a comment...
The same thing happened to me, you want to know what I did? I told that man either he gets his act together quickly or I'm moving on & not looking back. Only you know what you'll out up with and me personally. I'm not going to play the fool and wait because chances are he won't/wouldn't wait for you. If he loves you like he says he does then yes, love conquers all. But at the same time if you r man isn't acting right show him out & give him the choice to make a good logical decision or a poor one. Either way, let that man know your going to do it with or without him. Don't rely on a man/woman, besides you do not want to be with a man/woman who does not have their feet planted on the ground firmly. Either you want it or you don't, but you cannot have it both ways. Plan and simple, if my man leaves for good...oh well that's his loss. There ARE OTHER fish in the sea.
The same thing happened to me, you want to know what I did? I told that man either he gets his act together quickly or I'm moving on & not looking back. Only you know what you'll out up with and me personally. I'm not going to play the fool and wait because chances are he won't/wouldn't wait for you. If he loves you like he says he does then yes, love conquers all. But at the same time if you r man isn't acting right show him out & give him the choice to make a good logical decision or a poor one. Either way, let that man know your going to do it with or without him. Don't rely on a man/woman, besides you do not want to be with a man/woman who does not have their feet planted on the ground firmly. Either you want it or you don't, but you cannot have it both ways. Plan and simple, if my man leaves for good...oh well that's his loss. There ARE OTHER fish in the sea.
The same thing happened to me, you want to know what I did? I told that man either he gets his act together quickly or I'm moving on & not looking back. Only you know what you'll out up with and me personally. I'm not going to play the fool and wait because chances are he won't/wouldn't wait for you. If he loves you like he says he does then yes, love conquers all. But at the same time if you r man isn't acting right show him out & give him the choice to make a good logical decision or a poor one. Either way, let that man know your going to do it with or without him. Don't rely on a man/woman, besides you do not want to be with a man/woman who does not have their feet planted on the ground firmly. Either you want it or you don't, but you cannot have it both ways. Plan and simple, if my man leaves for good...oh well that's his loss. There ARE OTHER fish in the sea.
So my boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months and both madly in love with each other. Problem is that my divorce is still not final and my soon to be ex is causing lots of stress between my boyfriend and I. My boyfriend said to me that he needed to remove himself from my situation so that my ex would calm down and I could finish the divorce and sell my house. At the end of this conversation he threw in that his ex wife has asked if there could be a possiblility of them getting back together. She cheated on him terribly and wasn't a good mother to their children but he is saying that he needs to figure out if that is even a viable option for him and his kids. He is a fantastic Dad and would do just about anything for his kids. Also, the week that he ended up "pausing" our relationship he told me that we have a special relationship and that he loves me very much and that having a relationship with me has proven to him that a relationship can be what he thinks it should be. Multiple I love you's and tears from both of us. I am now devastated and he hasn't called. He told me that he was really confused and needed some time to figure it all out. Thoughts on this?
wooow that is so true and helped me out alot just now!!! thanks