Look, I'm aware that in some places, a vague statement actually has meaning. When somebody from Los Angeles says it takes about twenty minutes to get somewhere, it really takes an hour. In Boston if you go into Dunkin' Donuts and ask for a large regular you'll get an iced coffee full of sugar and cream. Sadly, guys don't work that way.
A better question is why it even matters in the first place. If he's got a clean bill of health, and he's dating you, who cares if it's 7, 70, or 700? He's with you now, and that's what matters.
What he said....
Dan's right! Make sure you both get tested!
Theoretically, I agree, but it's human to want to know... and a little dishonest to pretend otherwise.
It's not dishonest not to pry if somebody gives you a vague answer. It's polite. Not all curiosities have to be satisfied.
I don't think it's dishonest. I don't want to know how many women my boyfriend has been with. I know it's more than 4 but only because he said so. Not because I asked.
Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. Let's just leave it at that.
Okay, I'm not saying this kind of thinking/mindset is right AT ALL. I'm just saying that this is probably why OP wants to know. I know because this is the mindset that I let drive me crazy for months.
We want our partners to have been with a limited number of people because we feel like sex loses it's special-ness the more people our partners have done it with. (Like, the people who get married 10+ times probably don't think there's much meaning in the sanctity of marriage after the first half dozen fall apart.) As far as wanting to know the actual number, it's morbid curiosity.
Again, I'm very aware that this is not necessarily true. In fact, someone PLEASE explain to me why it's true, as I still need a bit of reassurance.
I know we all wish we were above asking the number question but, from an evolutionary standpoint, women are hardwired to want to know. Bear with me while I explain this.
In prehistoric times women were concerned with finding mates that would provide exclusively for them and stick around long-term. The goal of this was to maximize resources as much as possible. If a man has only had sex with me, that means he will only devote his resources to myself and our offspring. However, the more women he has had sex with, the higher the chances that he has other offspring (and women) around that he will have to divide his resources among.
Obviously, the whole bit about resources does not apply in our time but the fact is that this is how things worked for much of our evolutionary history and the need to know his number for (perceived) self-preservation purposes remains.
I also see it that way: if a guy doesn't want to tell me his "number" because he thinks I should trust him, then he should trust me not to judge him if he does tell me.
Personally, I wanted to know to make sure his was higher then mine. I love my man more then anything, but the fact of the matter is, a man being a slut is okay, a girl being a slut is dirty. I like that his number is higher, makes me feel less slutty, and it makes him more experienced, which makes him alot better in bed. We've been together almost 3 years and the sex hasnt dwindled a bit. :)