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When a random guy compliments my necklace and goes on to say, after I've thanked him, "It's very nice, I like it..." (It's just another necklace...nothing too special here), does this mean he is gay, checking out my boobs, or sincerely liked my necklace?

He's probably trying to flirt and stumbling for conversation topics. Maybe he legitimately liked the necklace, or maybe he's just trying to make small talk. Either way, the necklace is just an excuse to talk to you. If you're interested, compliment him back. Flirt. Find out more about him. If a nice guy compliments your necklace and then keeps talking about it, he's probably trying to keep the conversation going. Maybe he doesn't have a lot of game. Take the compliment, and change the subject. If you're interested, help him find a new topic before things get awkward.

Sure, if he's slimy, it could be an excuse to check out your cleavage. If that's the case, he's not particularly subtle. Why direct your attention below your neck if he's trying to snatch a quick glance? If he's staring right at your cleavage going, "Yeah, uh, nice necklace..." then you've caught him red-handed. More than likely, though, he was just trying to make conversation.

And, no, complimenting your necklace doesn't mean he's gay. You assuming that, however, makes you look kind of stupid and homophobic. Don't do that. It's a huge turn-off, and tells a lot more about you than a guy's casual compliment about your necklace does about him.
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8 Comments

Selena

Two days ago a random guy on the train said "Wow, you smell amazing. I sure chose the right person to stand next to." and he laughed and smiled. I just figured he liked my perfume. I said thanks and he then asked for my phone number. Doh. He was flirting. It's what men do when they're around women. I HIGHLY doubt a man would bother if he didn't think you were cute. Remember Chris Rock said it best: "Women are offered d*** every day."

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That is an awkward comment if a guy were to say that...I wouldn't know how to respond.

But if one was to compliment or "try" to make small talk I'd probably talk to them haha.

I guess it's one of those things, that it just depends on how the guy approaches you kinda thing.

No

Wow. The word "homophobic" is thrown around way too liberally these days...

The complimenting-my-necklace-means-he's-gay assumption might demonstrate a narrow-minded view about what constitutes masculinity, but it's not an attack on the gay community.

I'm so tired of people crying "homophobe!!" as a default insult when anything dealing with masculinity or femininity comes up, no matter who is ACTUALLY being insulted. How is it homophobic to assume that any straight guy couldn't possibly *really* appreciate her necklace, but must want to check out her boobs? Sounds way more like an attack on straight guys if you ask me.

goodkarmagirl

Haha...NICK you're right on, man. I think he was trying to sneak a peek at Wilma and Betty, and got caught.

I was standing next to a (an obviously straight) guy at an event one time who was checking out my boobs and said something similar about "my striking necklace".

In my sassy tone with a glare, I said "what a coincidence, I find your belt buckle just as mesmerizing".

Then I slithered away, trying to be all sexy, looking back at him over my shoulder...and walked right into a pole.

Epic Fail on the dismount.

Marie

Thank you for replying...

I'd like to say that he was probably just being weird. It was a weird situation and a weird comment and follow up--not enough to fit into 250 characters (or however many we get to ask questions on this site). He seemed super sincere, that he just really really liked my necklace and felt the need to talk about it for 2 minutes straight. The only thing holding me back from thinking he was gay (which, he had all the "tells", I didn't just assume he was gay because he liked my necklace) was that he was holding a baby and his girlfriend was right there...which is why I posted all of my theories on there.

Actually, its quite "funny" because I asked my best friend (who happens to be gay) what he thought, and the first thing he said was, "Oh, he's either totally gay or liked your boobies." So, I'd just like to say you completely took that way to far by even using the words "homophobic and stupid". I'm actually probably as far as opposite you can get.

That's just--no.

Not cool, at all.

But thank you for the first two paragraphs...wish I had stated my question differently so it wouldn't be assumed I was "homophobic" sounding...

Ugh, I hate that.

Nick Nadel

I'm not trying to insult you. I'm just saying, don't jump to conclusions about someone's sexuality just because he complimented your necklace.

Also, you buried the lead here-- The guy was with his girlfriend and holding a baby? He was probably flirting with you. Or, yeah, maybe he was weird and was making conversation.

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I have to say that for the last couple of hours i have been hooked by the amazing articles on this blog. Keep up the wonderful work.

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hahha I agree

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