You should treat it as you would any major surgery. Maybe don't bring it up on the first date, but a few weeks into the relationship seems reasonable. The weight loss isn't the issue; presumably, the surgery was a big deal for you, and probably not something you share with everyone right away.
Also, it's probably too much for a light first date. (Major surgery talk in general is more of a fourth or fifth date thing.) But once you feel comfortable with the guy, and start sharing more intimate details about your life, you should definitely bring it up if it's important to you.
Is it a turn-off? Absolutely not. It's a decision you made for yourself and for your health, and any guy worth your time will understand that and be supportive. And, honestly, it's ultimately nobody's business but your own. If anything, I admire that you went through something that was no doubt difficult both physically and emotionally, and are comfortable talking about it.
And if you don't want to share, you shouldn't feel obligated to. View it as you would any surgery or life-changing event. You'll know when it feels right to share with the person you're dating. Bring it up as you would any personal part of your past. Don't worry about freaking him out. If he freaks, or is judgmental, he has issues and will die alone. Any guy who isn't a total douche rocket will be interested to hear about a major life event, and won't view it as anything more than a personal choice you made for your health and happiness.
Also, it's probably too much for a light first date. (Major surgery talk in general is more of a fourth or fifth date thing.) But once you feel comfortable with the guy, and start sharing more intimate details about your life, you should definitely bring it up if it's important to you.
Is it a turn-off? Absolutely not. It's a decision you made for yourself and for your health, and any guy worth your time will understand that and be supportive. And, honestly, it's ultimately nobody's business but your own. If anything, I admire that you went through something that was no doubt difficult both physically and emotionally, and are comfortable talking about it.
And if you don't want to share, you shouldn't feel obligated to. View it as you would any surgery or life-changing event. You'll know when it feels right to share with the person you're dating. Bring it up as you would any personal part of your past. Don't worry about freaking him out. If he freaks, or is judgmental, he has issues and will die alone. Any guy who isn't a total douche rocket will be interested to hear about a major life event, and won't view it as anything more than a personal choice you made for your health and happiness.
I had weight loss surgery 8 years ago, and the type I had left a large scar on my belly. It doesn't bother me anymore, I'm used to it, but when I wear a bikini or whatever people do ask questions. I've found most people are interested and supportive when I tell them I had the surgery, and why.. Just be honest about your reasons and only give as much detail as you are comfortable with.. You should be proud that you are healthier and happier now!
Why bring it up though? Is it really that necessary? Would you tell him on your first second or third date that you used to have heart problems, but you got heart surgery and fixed it?
I just don't see how that would contribute anything to the relationship. Don't lie about it if he brings it up or something, but don't tell him out of nowhere.
It certainly isn't necessary. She seems like she wants to share it, so I would say wait until you're comfortable with the guy, or anyone for that matter. Like I said, it's probably not good first or second date conversation fodder to talk about any kind of surgery. And, also as I mentioned, it's ultimately no one else's business but her own. But if she feels comfortable with sharing with someone, then go for it once you're close to the person.
I always wondered about this too. I had weightloss surgery and it was the best decision of my life. However...no big scars but with the clothes off there are some unattractive side effects. Loose skin, some wrinkles you wouldn't expect, etc... nothing that would make you throw up but just something that would need explaining. I've found that when i begin to get hot and heavy with a guy...i stop at some point and let him know that there are some things about my body that i'm self concious about and i casually share my surgery story and prep him for the less than firm body he's about enjoy. i've NEVER had a guy turned off or not understand my hesitancy and the sex is always better because my nerves about them "knowing" are gone.
I told a guy that I'd had WLS on our second date, mostly because I eat so strangley. I didn't want him to think I was just picking at food to be girlie. He was actually really interested and super suportive. He thought it was cool, and I felt better after it was "revealed" ;-)
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I agree