Going from girlfriend material to friend zone can happen in the blink of an eye, not unlike the interest a man shows in a woman 1 millisecond after the deed (you know? THE DEED! wink wink) has been completed. When a man loses interest, rarely does it ever return, it just floats away. Sometimes its brought on by a chemical thing, other times it's probably your fault.
Do you stalk him?
Do you embarrass him in front of his friends?
Do you have really bad taste in music, tv, or movies, which he is just finding out about?
Do you have halitosis or bad gas?
Do you regale him with your boring dreams from last night's sleep?
Any one of the above can cause a guy to downgrade you from girlfriend potential to just a friend. The trick is to recognize that this transition has occurred, and the number one best way to tell is that he will begin discussing his girl/relationship/dating problems with you. Dudes, DO NOT do that with girls they are interested in.
I totally agree with this, only because I have seen it before.
.i have onli talked about my dream once with mi boyfriend and thats all i plan on doing!!!.
hilarious. Love your insight.
is there no way to reverse it? :(
Right on! Makes sense. Mucho thanks for the input. x0x.
how do you reverse this??
I hate boys
Well, it might be possible to reverse this, but it really depends on if you can negate the reason why he rejected you initally and make him see you again with fresh eyes (this being the plot of many a romantic comedy). And of course, you would need to know the real reason why he rejected you (this being something you'll have to get on your own, he will never tell you the real reason).
Then again, why would you want to reverse it? If he's not into the whole package that is you, then why even bother pursuing him? The whole point of dating after all, is getting to know a person better, to see if there is something there with which a relationship can be built.
I COMPLETELY disagree that talking about relationship problems is the kiss of death. I'm sure interest does often float out the window never to return again, but almost every guy who's asked me out in any way has talked about how unhappy he is with his current or last girlfriend... like he's listing off in his mind all the ways I could be better than her.
Maybe what you mean is they transition from never talking to you about that stuff to asking you for advice as a best friend. Some guys aren't used to treating girls they want to date as friends, so they avoid talking about personal things like relationships. But not all guys are the same--you have to know which type of guy you're dealing with.
There's a definite reason why *most* of us avoid talking about relationships with a potential girl. It's way too easy to come across either bitter or resentful, or to give the impression you're still keen on your ex (or exes). Everybody has baggage, but the last thing you want to do is shout it from the rooftops at someone you're trying to impress.
Sure, some guys might just do it anyway, and good luck to them. They'll probably need it. For the rest of us, relationship problems are definitely a friends only conversation.
omg, this totally happened to me at work... this new guy at the office asked me out the first time we met, and I should responded that i would be in touch, which i was later... we finally went out for drink and i thought we had a good time but now i can't get him to ask me out again... what's a girl to do?!?!
"The trick is to recognize that this transition has occurred, and the number one best way to tell is that he will begin discussing his girl/relationship/dating problems with you. Dudes, DO NOT do that with girls they are interested in."
AGREED.