Normally my reaction is: okey dokey! Bring it on! I do so love a challenge. Sex is best when two people are comfortable enough to ask from the other what it is they need in order to make their genitals sing. Now, I've been asked by women to do some freaky things, and my policy is usually to have an open mind, do it once, and if it isn't my thing, politely share with her that I really don't like having my junk tickled with feather dusters.
I honor this policy because I expect it to be reciprocated. If there's something I want her to do in bed (or on the couch, against the kitchen counter top, or around the corner from the bar) I expect her to return the favor, play along, and let me know afterwards if it's something she liked. So long as it's not illegal, draws blood, or involves tears, I think it's important for two people to be proactive about getting the other person off. This way, everybody get their cookie. Sex shouldn't be mutual-masturbation. Which is totally fun in it's own way, beeteedubs.
And let's consider the alternative here. I've banged women who are silent, like the Ghost of Christmas Future. Who, because of extreme bashfulness or past douchebag boyfriends, are totally uncommunicative in the sack. This is not good. It's a recipe for frustration, boredom, and worst of all, bad sex.
What shall a lady do, however, when the man disregards her requests/demands?
Kick him to the curb :D
Jb...I've done everything BUT have sex...so, I can't speak from personal experience about sex in general...but, the guy I'm with now is the first guy I've done ANYTHING with...even "french-kissing" (God, that sounds so gay to say)...but it's the truth. But, even during the "almost-sex" that we have (haha)...I'm a lot more into it than I EVER imagined being. I like the back scratching, the hair pulling...pretty much, pain in general. But, he finds it very strange. I'd always thought guys kind of liked the "roughness", but I also never imagined I'd be one who PREFERRED rough. But, he's a little freaked out by it...which, he's definitely NOT a virgin, so I assumed he'd be kind of into it....but, I was very, very wrong. So, sometimes when I tell him what I like, whilst in the midst of it, he almost gets frustrated because he doesn't like "hurting" me. Which, I guess I should be glad that my boyfriend doesn't want to hurt me...lol for the most part, I am...but when I'm ASKING for it...why can't they just suck it up and do it?
I remember the first time I was with a girl who liked it really rough, I had a similar reaction to your boy. It freaked me out a little, cause I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't realise that the pain and pleasure thresholds go way up, and get all mixed up somewhere in the middle, at least not until I had a shower the next morning and realised my back was shredded from her nails!
Keep at it, sooner or later he'll get more bold as he realises it gets you off.
I dated this guy who was really sweet and awesome but the first time we had sex, it was a freaking joke. I felt like I was in a silent movie. It was awful. But I realized that he was just a little inexperienced and needed some training. I like rough, passionate sex. So I started telling him things I wanted him to do. At first he was kind of freaked out, probably because he thought he was going to hurt me, but as soon as he realized I really liked it, he embraced it. Now he's a total freak.
Moral of the story: Gentle=boring. Rough=awesome. As long as you show the guy that you're enjoying it, so they don't feel like they're hurting you.
As long as it's not punching them in the mouth or anything that would get me arrested outside of a sexual context, I'm cool with it. I love women who know what they want. It's almost certainly going to be fantastic sex.
I tend to bite without realizing it. It's so fucking hot.
I don't remember if we were married yet or not, but there are 2 occasions with my (then) fiance/husband that come to mind. Basically, he wasn't getting it done for me. The first time, I strategically placed a pillow and really got into it. When it was over, he started asking questions about where I learned that. Really? You want me to tell you another guy did that with me before? He kept pushing me for an answer so I told him I read about it in a book. (I do have quite the library.) He didn't believe me and made a huge issue about it. The second time, I made a suggestion of what he could do to make it better. He stopped completely, in the middle of it. Are you kidding me? WTF? Dude, I'm trying to help you be less boring in bed. Be thankful there were others before you. Take advantage of what they taught me and have fun with it.
Needless to say, we're in the middle of getting divorced now. And, yes, our dysfunctional sex life was a major factor for me wanting out.
Are you kidding? If a woman ever offers me a bit of advice that makes me better in bed, I TAKE IT. I don't care how many parters you've had before, that's not even any of my business. I just care that you're showing me a way to get you off that I haven't encountered before.. it's something that's going to be useful, at least in the immediate future!
Ooooo! What a little baby! He sounds like he has serious self-confidence issues.
You don't know the half of it.
I hate him Maggie
Being fairly new to this whole "sex" thing, I take all of the advice I can get. I guess I was kinda timid my first few times, so my girlfriend was really impressed when I started taking her advice and getting rough. If she hadn't told me, though, I don't think I'd ever have done anything differently.
Yeah, well, I'm kind of shy and dainty--the "goody-good" type, for the most part...and I think my boyfriend was almost turned OFF when he realized how aggressive I was when the doors were closed. I don't think he was actually concerned that he would hurt me...I think it was his nice way of telling me he's not used to seeing me like that...he's always thought of me of this nice, sweet, little virgin girl. So, I think he was just a little more turned off than I expected him to be. Which...I don't understand, but whatever.
I love a guy who likes dirty talk. Strangely enough...the guy I'm seeing/doing (whatever)...is really into dirty talk but as soon as the sex is over he goes into shy quiet guy mode. The most outgoing he gets is during sex. I really like the guy when we're having sex but afterward conversation with him is like watching paint dry.
SOMETIMES GIRLS FAKE IT!!!!! Hey you get a guy happy he shoots cream at you, dude...........make sure she does the same for you. (just in a different way)
I think it's incredibly arousing when two people are comfortable enough and trust each other enough to be able to say exactly what they want... then again I think honesty is one of the sexiest qualities a person can have. That includes telling me what you want in the bedroom.
My reaction is 1. say thank you, and 2. do it.
My lover asked me last night what my favorite position was that we've tried thus far. I told him, "I like all of them."
He replied, "Yeah, okay ... but there has to be one that you like a little bit more than the rest."
My response, "No Sweetie - it depends on my mood."
I'm not sure if he believed me however, it's the truth. When I'm on my back ... it's great. When he flips me over ... it's just as great, only for different reasons. It's funny too because I think our "biorythms" (or something) are in sync. When he takes charge and decides what's going to turn him on, my needs are the same.
Now I have a couple of questions ...
1.) Should I try to "do my homework" and find a favorite to tell him?
... also ...
2.) As an addendum to the original question posed, is simply guiding/showing a man what you want/need just as effective as verbalizing it - or do men PREFER to HEAR it?
What a lovely day for a 3557276! SCK was here
What a lovely day for a 1090078! SCK was here
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