The right time to tell him is whenever you feel like telling him. Within reason, that is.
Look, good for you for not wanting to lead him on, but your virginity is your business. You should only share it when you are comfortable doing so, if at all. Obviously, if you date a guy long enough, the issue of sex will come up, and the disclosure of your status will become relevant. But your sexual habits are your private business, so you aren't obligated to discuss them until you're ready.
No guy should assume that every woman intends to, or is obligated to, sleep with him just because he takes her out a few times. Sure, we hope you will want to get nekkid with us at some point, because we know that most women of a certain age are sexually active, but we still should not expect it. If a guy feels that you led him on because you didn't disclose your virginity on the first few dates, he should not have assumed you were going to sleep with him. Disappointment is a natural consequence of presumption.
I think you will know when the time is right to talk about your intentions. If you want to put it out there early on, that's your prerogative. Or, you can wait until a guy starts pushing hard for sex by bringing it up frequently or getting grabby when you're making out. You can get physical with him if you want, but if you do, I think it's only fair at that point to tell him that the physical will only go so far, and you won't be going all the way with him.
Thanks for the question.
I'm with WA. I'd say save it for when it looks like he's heading down that road. Maybe not the second he tries to give you a peck on the cheek, but as soon as he starts to lead up to something you're not comfortable with, that's when you should calmly stop him, tell him that you don't want to have sex, but will continue and go as far as you're comfortable. If that means almost penetration, fine. If that means just a light kiss, also fine. If he gets mad and accuses you of leading him on, tell him that you could say the same thing about him for not being upfront about his intentions. Until you'rve discussed it, nobody shuld have assumed anything. Also as WA said, if he's disappointed, it's his own fault for having those expectations.
When I was dating as a virgin I always told the guy within the first 3 dates. I agree, that you don't want to lead someone on. Every guy respected that decision actually and were ok with waiting until I was ready. I believe earlier is better than later but as WA say, do it when you're comfortable with it.
Saving the verginity for marriage and then finding out that you're not sexually compatible with your husband. Sweet.
*virginity
bagging on a girl who is trying to do what she feels is best for her. Sweet.
Timing is tricky here. I had the same issue as well. It was soon after making out started getting intense. The key is to have the talk when not in the moment so you can discuss rationally and not when hormones are raging. Also before that drop hints so he's not totally thrown for a loop. For me its a religious based decision so I would say I'm a good christian girl and a really strong moral compass. So when the time came he was surprised but it wasnt totally off base. Also although it will b uncomfortable you need to make clear what your boundries are, as in great detail. There is lots of grey area before you are actually having sex so make clear the line. Good luck, if the guy doesn't understand then he is not the one for you.