Good question. I'm almost sure that there's never a right time and truthfully, it all depends on the guy you're dating.
For instance, I have a child. If I were to go on a date, I'd probably let a chick know that well upfront so she can make whatever decisions necessary before she falls head over heels in love with me. But that's just me.
Here's one thing: even trying to figure it out implies some sort of gamesmanship. You don't want to telll him too early to scare him away, but not too late to make him think you were hiding it. That's why I try to put it all out there upfront. And that would probably work. You might be surprised by how many guys don't mind. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of guys who would run like hell from that situation but you don't want to seriously date them anyway.
I'd say at least after a few dates but before vacation plans have been made and jumping in the sack. You don't want to get your hopes up (and we know many women do get theri hopes up when sex comes into the picture) for him to just be like, "oh you have a kid, I'm out". And you would have given him the perfect out to be a dbag.
I think you can also tell just by how the convos and flow is going. Just realize, its part of your life. If he doesn't want to accept that part of you, then you need another guy anyway.
I definitely agree, tell him upfront. There are guys that don't want to date women who have kids and there are guys who don't mind. If they know up front it gives them the opportunity to make that decision. It doesn't make them a bad person either way, but at least they wont be surprised down the road with an "oh, by the way..."
I would tell him upfront,so there are no surprises and you and he will know what you/he are getting into. I have a little girl who is the light in my life whom I cannot even go two sentences throughout my day without bringing her up. If you are a good mom and he is a descent guy then you gus will work it out. If he isnt down with u having a kid then he isnt worth bringing around anyway. The true test for a mans worth is how they react around your baby and you. If he really cares for you and is a good man he will def make it a priorty to get to knw you and try to be good with your child.
I honestly don't even understand why this question was asked... or answered for that matter! I am engaged now, with an almost 13 year old, and was a single mother since she was two, and to me, if you feel like you have to hide that fact from anyone, for any reason, ever, you just might not deserve to be a mother in the first place. You don't EVER hide that... why would you?! There are plenty of single parents, women and men alike, out there. If you meet a man who isn't accepting of your having children, of being a mother, you sure as hell wouldn't want him in your life! I would rather be a single mother for the rest of my life than ever feel like I had to keep that to myself with someone for any amount of time, for fear of not being liked or loved or whatever reason would cause one to hold their tongue... that's ridiculous, someone please slap some common sense into that woman before I have an aneurysm!
Well said, girl!
I have a kid. I put that information within the first paragraph of my dating profile. When meeting people in person, same thing. I would inform people as soon as reasonably possible. Your child is a part of who you are, and if you are a good parent, you should see no reason to "hide" the fact that you have offspring to anyone.
If you are afraid that someone won't date you because you have kids, then you should reconsider if you need to be dating at all. Furthermore, any man (or woman) that would run from you because of this is not good for you or your KIDS anyway.
Can I get an Amen! lol Exactly... Well said yourself!
It is not just me I have kids and with me come my kids and if some man is not OK with that he can move on. I am VERY proud of the 3 most important things in my life. There is no way I would leave out the center of my world for some man! Why would you not be upfront about having kids?
You guys took this post the wrong way. Damn, get a grip. All the chick is asking is when is the appreciate time to tell a guy you have a kid. That's it, simple. Obviously by this question being asked she's not trying to hide the fact that she's a mother, duh. Answer to the question: Up front. The end.
You guys took this post the wrong way. Damn, get a grip. All the chick is asking is when is the appreciate time to tell a guy you have a kid. That's it, simple. Obviously by this question being asked she's not trying to hide the fact that she's a mother, duh. Answer to the question: Up front. The end.
I just got myself into a huge problem, I'm a single mom that goes to college. I'm young so my mom takes care of him so I can keep going forward to double major. So I met this guy 2 wks ago, only talked to him once, we got real close. Then wks later we talk again and he held my hand, I met his family, and he kissed me right when he dropped me off. It's not that I'm ashamed, but I didn't really know how to tell him. When I first met people I used to literally say, "Hi I'm blank and I have a child." But my friends told me to stop doing that, to tell him after he got to know you. In this case, I didn't really know how to say it, so I'm wondering how to tell him. Face to face or phone call, it's so weird. I adore my child, and me not telling him earlier makes me feel as if I was ashamed. I'm not, its just I feel bad not telling him sooner.
hey Mila , i am in the same situation and is driving me crazy !! I wish i had told him I have a kid the first time i met him , but didnt want to be a dealbreaker . i dont know I just thought that I didnt need to tell everyone straightaway that I have a kid. I am a young mum too.