Ah, yes, the eternal question of "leagues".
There are always people who are going to be baffled by attractive people dating "unattractive" people. But it's really got its foundations in a fairly nasty stereotype: attractive people are all about the looks in their partner, and nothing else.
Just because somebody's hot doesn't mean they're shallow. Ask most guys and they will admit that if an attractive woman is stupid, it's a real turn-off. Similarly, I've never met a woman who, in the end, didn't cop to the fact that a hot guy is ultimately not a catch if he's thick.
Next, there's the self-esteem question: just because you find yourself unattractive doesn't mean he finds you unattractive.
As a rule, people don't rush into a marriage these days. If this guy is married to somebody less "attractive" than he is, he did it for a reason. Glancing at an attractive person is, well, human. Worry about the husband if you've got more concrete evidence, like money being spent in secret or consistently coming home late.
Honestly, I've always thought this was an issue the other way around - when attractive women wed unattractive men, is there a possibility that they might find themselves disgusted with who they're going to bed with every night and seek out Rico Suave for wild pleasure? I suppose the answer to this question is self-evident in the phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", but I'm just a bit more intrigued by the fact that there are women out there thinking the same thing.
Doesn't this imply that "unattractive" people suck in bed? Or are you saying that sex with an "unattractive" person in general is always less satisfying due to the lack of attractiveness.
I think it's the second one, lack of attractiveness.
I'm a very unattractive man married to an attractive woman. The sex is f'ing great, thank you very much. Sorry to burst your preconceptions. So much for the theory ugly people cannot be good lovers.
I think that in a certain degree an attractive person does find his "less attractive" partner... well, attractive. Maybe that person is no Brad Pitt or Scarlet Johansson but does know how to be charming. When you lack the looks you have to develop other ways to be attractive. I think that nothing attracts more than a person with self confidence.
Looks might get you in the door, but what is on the inside of you…, is what keeps you there.
Attraction isn't purely about beauty - 'specially as relationships mature...
Beauty may catch my eye, but it doesn't necessarily hold my interest.
I think this quote sums up what everyone is trying to say:
When you get to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty or looks. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body, but not your heart. That’s why when you really connect with a person, any physical imperfections disappear, they become irrelevant.
I had a friend who wasn't the "hottest" of the bunch. But she got way more guys (some of them very attractive) to ask her out than any of her "attractive" friends. She had a killer personality, great sense of humor, was a good listener and was confident in herself
I have no experience with this, but I think cheating is a symptom of a bigger problem and dissatisfaction. If a guy's ONLY reason is "I bet I could get a hotter chick" then...he's either 16 years old or seeking some kind of validation of his own worth. Say you are at the bar and a sexy man/woman buys you a drink. Sure, it's flattering and a self esteem boost, especially if you've been out of the dating field for a long time. But the majority of people are not going to say "Hot damn, this is my chance to trade up."