To truly understand why many Black guys are indeed infatuated with lighter-skinned Black women, we'd need to delve into the everlasting effects of slavery, psychological warfare, race-hierarchy paradigms, and forbidden fruit syndrome. Frankly, we haven't the time.
More simply, however, you can thank television, slavery, magazines, slavery, self-awareness and esteem, slavery, dreams deferred, red pumps, the education systems, banking home loans, slavery, hip-hop, Aesop's fables, and the dictionary.
Oh yeah, and slavery.
You see, since the slavery-days there has been this view as the white woman as this paragon of effervescent beauty and object of lust, affection, and desire. Well, light skinned Black women are merely the results of many a gene pool of white men and/or women mixing with Black men and/or women to create legions of women of fairer skin tones and generally straighter hair and European features. Plus the dictionary teaches us that "white/light is right".
Television and the media have convinced us all, not just Black men, that the women of desire are light to color-challenged with straighter hair and European features. It's splashed across the pages of every magazine and zapped into the living rooms of any and everybody who watches television for more than two minutes a week. Oh, and add to that we, as a community, have long had numerous issues with our own self-perception and esteem and you get a favorable status placed upon women who are lighter.
It's really complicated.
Mind you though, all Black men are not infatuated with light skinned women. No, we are definitely very fair with our infatuations. We're generally infatuated with ALL women. Unlike John Mayer, most of our weenies are not racist.
With that in mind, why do Black men love women with big booties? As men of the diaspora (and despite our seeming lustful desires towards lighter skinned Black women and white women), our African sisters are a curvy lot. As the black gold of the sun, our innate appreciation and love for curves has followed us from Africa. It's nature. It's instinct. It's an appreciation for math and all of its curves. Why do you think so many Black men do so well in Geometry? It's the curves, stupid. I've heard numerous rappers mention sine and cosine in their rhymes. See, I just did it, and I'm not a rapper. It's that innate!
Tangent gets no love. That's for supermodels and Paris Hilton.
In short, we like light skinned women because of the media and slavery. We like big butts and we cannot lie because before we were slaves, we came from (somewhere in ) Africa.
It was written.
That is so not the case with black men, im a light skinned woman and get's no play from any man what so ever, they are attracted to who they are attracted to, it's real simple. And as far as the big booties, yea for the most part it is true, they do love them and it is cause of the way they look without clothes on..
Coco75,
While you may not be getting action from black guys, you are more socially accepted in certain circles that a dark skin black person may not. Im legit from africa and have very dark skin, and yet manage to attract white guys, but that is b.c of where I grew up and my surroundings..
hate to tell you, but if you're not getting any play from ANY men, then it has nothing to do with how light or dark you are, sister. and let's be real, your situation clearly isn't indicative of all Black men's behavior, just like the question asked isn't true of all Black men's behavior.
we're a complex lot. mostly we just like women with big butts.
Yep, yep, yep.
And yep.
Yep.
phenomenal answer Brotha Jackson...
thank you. thank you. i do what i can.
Panama Jackson...are you black?
I am indeed. I suppose the picture doesn't fully indicate this, eh? I've had more than one person who has seen the pic ask me if I was Black, with some people thinking I'm Latino.
To complete the murder though, my personal website full of race and relationship based musings is: verysmartbrothas.com
Brothas. 4 Lyfe.
I'm reading the "Things You Should Never Say to a Black Woman" on VSB. WOW, insanely funny. U might get a sista fired for laughing too much!! LMBAO : )
You mentioned before that your mom's white though, right? That probably has a lot to do with why people can't tell right away.
She is. But quite honestly, nobody upon seeing me has ever thought I was mixed. I usually have to tell people (could be on account of the bald head I rock). Most peopel just think I'm a light skint Black dude thru and thru (no imperialism).
But perhaps the picture doesn't fully capture my Black half.
which half of you is black? XD
upper, lower, or left side?
definitely the lower half. heh heh heh
The black pride I have right now is better than an orgasm. WHOOOT WHOOT.
Thanks Panama for answering this! I just found out about this website during a commercial while watching "The Golden Girls."
This is an interesting question (and answer). I've often wondered about the "big butt" thing myself.
I'm very fair-skinned and get mistaken for white all of the time.
Growing up, I was very skinny and although I was called "fine," guys would mention how skinny I was. I felt unattractive for years until I gained weight in my mid 20s!
So, while I am light-skinned, I wasn't that "perfect package" that most black guys wanted. The music videos certainly do nothing for the average woman's self-esteem.
It also seems like most light-skinned girls/women prefer dark-skinned guys.
So, to all women that date black guys, or men of any race that are all big butt crazy, know that not all are that way. A woman is WAY more than just a butt. That big butt may eventually get TOO big! I'm curvier now, but I want to lose weight. Be careful what you wish for!
to quote the great Outkast from their seminal song, "Growing Old": fat ti**ies turn to tear drops and fat a$$ turns to flab..."
So yes, proper booty maintenance is a must.
Light skinned people are some of the prettiest people I know. Man or woman a lot of them are gorgeous!
Please be joking. Please be joking. Please be...ok, we all know that you are not joking but just proving Panama's point in an awesomely sad ironic way. But I think you should lie and say you were joking to save face.
thank you Sister Toldja. Glad some people think alike
Many people have no clue Sister Toldja of what Panama speaks. The majority of the rest are seriously in denial. Or they use "preference" as an excuse/cop out.
Oh I forgot, it was just a joke. lol
This doesn't seem that disrespectful to me... For example, I think that Asian people are absolutely beautiful, and I've never met an Asian person I didnt think was attractive in some way (Good thing I don't live in Asia...!) I wouldn't judge them on having better personalities or anything because of their skin tone, but different people have different aesthetic preferences. :/
It's when skin tone/ethnicity becomes your sole method of judgeing a person - that's when it's wrong.
I think it goes both ways...My last boyfriend was Nigerian and he had the roundest, firmest butt and it drove me CRAZY. Could never get enough of it. I can see why guys like to "smack that @$$"...so to speak.
I have experienced this unfair treatment many times. My best friend has light skin. I love her dearly, but avoid going to places like clubs with her because I "disappear". Recently I was to meet her at a bar. I was flirtling with a guy. I was really trying to get his total interest before my friend showed up. But to no surprise the guy turned all his attention to her. I feel we both have pretty faces and are shaped the same. My hair is even longer! But she has the advantage of having that light skin.
Read the book "The Color Complex:The Politics of Skin Color Among African-Americans". Other than that, don't worry about other people's prejuidice stupidity. :0) You're beautiful.
It's interesting that you said that. When my then best friend and I would go out, she would get all of the attention. Not me. I'm way lighter, but she had that "thing" that always got the attention of guys.
She was more confident that I was. I was shy and maybe that had a little to do with it. So, maybe a female's skin tone alone doesn't attract a man? What do you guys think?
Off topic. But I like your face.
why thank you kindly. my face appreciates such compliments
So that's why it's ok and expected for dark women to date light skinned men and totally wrong for dark men to date light skinned women...slavery....that is why it is ok for the President of the USA to be with a dark skinned woman, but its so uncool (even hated upon) when a light skinned woman is with a dark skinned man.
is this a joke? i've NEVER heard anybody say something was wrong with a light skinned woman dating a dark skinned man? most black folks are just happy that we're together.
while slavery is definitely a culprit, as long as two black people are together (at the end of the day) most of us are happy. unless you have a dude who ONLY dates light chicks and thinks dark skinned women are ugly. cuz he's just dumb.
and where do you live where its hated upon for a light chick to date a dark dude. especially since dark bald guys have been in style since the 90s.
Lol, "especially since dark bald guys have been in style since the 90s"
Hum...this is a very interresting convo here...
But who doesnt love a$$? And the light skin thingy is bull...we like who we like for many diff reasons...it could be one thing that they have and it just stands out....like i have wide gorgeous hips and everyone tells me that...shoot the girl in Trey Songs ' neighbors know my name ' video is heller beautiful...and guess what she is darker than the average women we see on commercials...
I am an 18 year old white girl myself, and I'm always noticing how white guys don't ever seem to be that interested in me, but black guys are always interested. I definitely think it's because I'm curvy. I'm actually pretty small but I have big boobs and a big butt..as well as big hips and thighs. What's funny is that I also have big lips and thick hair and love rap lol so I guess it makes sense. I'm starting to think I should just find myself a nice black guy who appreciates curves and forget about most of the white guys :P
Oohh that jungle fevuh. I'm mixed, my mom, whose white, taught me about race relations from the get go. I've been picked on by the darker girls at school, being called white washed and stuff, but I could school them in black history any day. It's a funny world, but alot of it makes sense. Also white dudes and black dudes are all intimidated by me, it's cute.
well im a white girl myself and sometimes i get judged upon my like for men that are black. i don't see it. arent we all the same. its just a diferent pigment that makes the colour different but were all human beings and we are not are colour of are skin. and i love that were all different it makes everything just better cause we can share cultures together. but truely the colour of someones skin does not make the person. and ive had people tell me its wrong for me to be with black guys just cause im white, that doesnt make any sense. and about big boobs well i think it all depend on the guy, yes alot of guys like big boobs but its not just black guys, its white guys, hispanic guys, all kinds of guys, but mainly it depends on the guy, some like small butts some like big, some like tall girls, some like small it all depends on the person.
Race is a social construct. Ethnic is a more proper term, because there are no biologically distinct races. They do not exist.
Race is a social construct. There are no biologically distinct races because they don't exist. Ethnicity or culture are the only true ways to describe people from different backgrounds.
Race is a social construct, because biologically distinct "races" do not exist. The terms ethnicity or culture are much more appropriate to represent a person background.
Oh, jesus. I seriously just triple posted. People, I do apoligize. If I could undo it, I really would.
The black friends i have all say the same thing "white girls are easy pickings" mainly because black singers are portrayed as sex gods on music channels. I also notice a lot of black me date very young white girls who are a little credulous
The black friends i have all say the same thing "white girls are easy pickings" mainly because black singers are portrayed as sex gods on music channels. I also notice a lot of black me date very young white girls who are a little credulous
Sex gods? Really? Of course you'd come here to bash black men down, low life. If that's so true as you say, then why do my black friends say that they are only attracted to white women because they're intelligent and really beautiful?
Hips, thighs, and nice booties do get moved to the front of the list, but I don't discriminate, if I'm attracted to them then I go after them, but either way they need to won't something out of life. :)