The same reason planes remain airborne: beautiful, flawless design. We're built that way. Not to reduce men to a simple combination of parts, but we are nothing more than machines designed to inseminate you. We're part Don Juan, part caveman, all about OPP, and we came to party. And I mean filthy animal party.
Everything beyond that's just romance, and nature couldn't really give a rat's ass about that part. All it asks of us men is that we like our children enough not to murder them, and that we keep on spreadin' that seed, baby. Nature's kinda sex-obsessed. Like mother, like sons.
Of course, that's the basest possible take on man's natural drives. I believe it exists to SOME degree in every guy, and to an astounding degree in most guys under forty. Thankfully, society came along to keep us from acting on our every impulse. If it didn't, the world would be one big Hooter's-themed nudist camp/amusement park, and everything would be a lot stickier.
To a lot of guys, commitment means giving up on their secret (and remember, nature-imbued) goal of impregnating every woman on the face of the entire planet. Yes, it's a lofty dream, but the loftiest dreams can be the most painful to give up on.
Of course, commitment grants all sorts of new joys and freedoms, etc. etc., blah blah blah. But if you want to know why guys fear tying themselves down, it's not you, it's them. Them and their ambitious genitalia.
But before you go judging us too harshly, keep in mind that it's that same sexual drive that kept humanity going when there were only like six of us dicking around in a cave. Lord knows if we left procreation up to the ladies, our species would have succumbed to natural attrition eons ago.
NOTE: all of this is true only if you believe in evolution. If you're religious, then I guess men are just wild, hedonistic sin-junkies. Either way, pretty badass.
Ah, the other side of the story!
MIchael does make a good point about the procreation bit. Sure, there's a few women out there whose sex drive rivals the testosterone crowd, but for a lot of us, it's just something we have to do to have babies. It can be great, it can be pleasureable, it can be a chore, but it's gotta be done or else either the man gets really grouchy or goes elsewhere.
I guess here is the major difference between men and women. For most of us girls (not all, I might add) sex is like junk food: tasty, sweet, salty(!), or a guilty pleasure, but not really necessary to life. For most men, it is the meaning of life. Or for the religious, a very close second.
Sex is just something you do to have babies? Honey, you dont speak for lady-kind. Us other ladies love sex, and we like having it often. And, unlike junk food its like a never ending source of goodness... as long as you're on good BC and have a good faithful STD free partner....
In the end, don't bother dating the commitment phobes, you'll always feel like you're making them drag their feet to be with you, and that's never a good feeling. Honestly, we can all tell which guys are commitment phobes within the first couple months of dating. If he is... date someone else and move on. Why do we put up with commitment phobes?? For all I care if they dont want me then its fine if they just go hang out in a cave.....a really sticky cave haha.
im 21 and he is 28 this guy from my class tells me over and over that im beautiful, sweet, interesting and he wants to chill. he never does and then says sorry just to do it all over again. he talks to me over the phone and text but in person he just says hi and walks away... im lost? whats going on?
I'm not sure it's true that men are commitment-phobes. In every relationship I've been in, it's always been the guy who wants to take things to exclusive-town, not me. But maybe that just says more about me.
In any case, there could be other reasons why this is so (although the evolutionary biology angle is quite convincing). Men usually enjoy sex more, true, but this is probably because women are generally better at pleasing their partners. Think about it; nearly all porn is male-targeted, and while men's magazines (Maxim) teach men how to get their girlfriends to do things they don't want to for their man's pleasure, women's magazines (Cosmo) teach women how to do things they don't want to for their man's pleasure. This results in a lopsided society of women over-educated on what it takes to get a man off, while most men don't even know where the clit is. This not only explains why women are less into sex (wouldn't you be?), but also the rush to exclusiveness. A man can be secure in the knowledge that many women consider pleasing their man to be the primary objective in sex (remember, we've seen the same porn you have, and I have yet to see a female ejaculate all over a man in the climax, but then maybe I need to spend more time on the internet), which means that he'll probably orgasm no matter who he's with. Meanwhile, if a woman finds a man who can ACTUALLY BRING HER TO CLIMAX, that's like gold, and naturally she'll want to lock that down right fast.
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