It's worth turning this question around and asking why women can't commit before the age of 30, either.
The average age of marriage is 28 in men and 26 in women in the US, according to the U.S. Census. And that average age has been rising for both genders since 1976, but one thing that has stayed the same, interestingly, is that two year gap.
You've also got to keep in mind that more people than ever have divorced parents. Even the most amicable of divorces teaches the kids a lesson about marrying in haste and repenting in leisure.
The truth is each guy has a different reason for marrying or not marrying. Some guys want to see what's out there, some guys aren't sure the woman they're with is "the one", some guys just don't want to get married, period. Honestly, marrying a woman because you get her pregnant is a bad, bad, bad idea. Your average marriage has a one in four chance of striking out: your average shotgun wedding has at best a 50/50 chance.
In short, commitment is good, but everybody gets there at their own pace.
That's probably a good thing... guys mature at a much slower rate than women, and I think much slower these days than they did in the past... it probably has a lot to do with the myriad distractions we have that allow us to remain child-like (man-children)... video games, internet, FB, sports, culture of hookups etc. etc. Why would they want to give it up and settle down?
Of course, most of us eventually do settle down, but a few remain "bros for life" and wind up being 48, single, driving a Corvette with a vanity plate that reads "BROHAM" and wind up spending the better part of our discretionary income on strippers.
Good points! I would like to mention, though, 'settling down' does not mean one has to totally give up all those things. Sure, different priorities come into our lives. But, to think that we have to forgo all the things we enjoyed being single is not only false (well obviously hookups have to go if we got married), but unhealthy too.
In the words of the poet George Bernard Shaw (I think), "We do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stopped playing."
Words my 99yo grandmother, who still drives, lives by.
Well, you can't say that women aren't committing. The age for women getting married is probably rising by default, because the men they're with are waiting longer to marry! :p
My boyfriend doesn't want to be married until he's 30- he's 25 now-, which I don't understand. I think a lot of guys are easily influenced to look at marriage as a negative thing instead of a positive.
I saw a documentary somewhere that said that the best ages to marry are mid-late twenties for guys, early-mid twenties for girls. Not that waiting longer is going to hurt a couple's chances of staying together, just that they have about the same odds of working out once those age ranges have been reached as they would if they waited till they reached 3o+.
Kind of unrelated, but still interesting.
I've seen studies that say couples (guys AND girls) who marry after age 25 are significantly more likely to stay together.
Who the hell would want to?
Soo All guys and All women, huh? I'm 21, my fiance` is 22... Sorry, but I highly dislike rounded statements.
Who said "All"???
Men should marry later in their lives. If they marry young, they will likely stray and cheat. Women, let a boy grow into a man before marrying him. Most guys start becoming real men around 30-40.
When I see a young guy around his 20s married with kids, Im thinking WOW, he wont be the same man he is in his 40s. He will start to question his life, be attracted to younger women, and sometimes (not all) cheat.
It happens.
We women should learn to head these signs. Stop marrying boys and marry men. Let him mature first.
Guys in their 20s dont know themselves well enough yet. Why should they commit?
Weird. I know my dad and uncles got married when they were in their twenties. And what do you know? They've got the strongest relationships ever.
Age is never a factor when it comes to cheating. It's more of their life experiences and core values.
Note my (not all) in the above. Life experiences comes with age dear, as well as add to maturity. Again, not always the case, just usually.
Well said, Faye. Experiences make a big difference. I knew a young Somali man while I was in Saudi, only 19 but had already fought in battles and lived through two famines. He acted far more grown up than many guys in the West do in their 30s.
And when did 'willing to commit' become the sole gauge for maturity?
However, I must say that I have observed the trend towards 'perpetual adolescence' in the US at least.
HaHa! I understand what you mean. I come from a very different culture. When I got here in the US, part of my culture shock was... ehhh, the "grown up" men. LOL!
I don't know if I agree, Mel, only because I work with some guys in their thirties who look like men but act like petulant little boys and others in their twenties who look like boys but behave like responsible men (and I'll also include my guy friends in this latter category too). I don't think it's about age, but rather their personal evolution and level of maturity. I also think that if they come from families where they've had great role models at the helm-- a set of parents who have been happily married for a long time-- they'll more than likely seek to attain the same when they decide to take a life partner.
I doubt that age should be considered as a determining factor on whether he'll cheat or not since men of every age are capable of straying(and have) and breaking that bond of commitment. I think dishonesty, a lack of ethics & integrity, and an overbearing sense of entitlement would be traits that would make me question a guy's ability to remain faithful while in a romantic relationship.