I really think there's more to this situation than what MM said. He may be immature, selfish, or a plain ol' coward, but in my experience this kind of cold shoulder usually means something like drugs, sudden terminal illness (there are actually instances where people will find out they have cancer and all of a sudden cut off all contact with loved ones for various reasons), or familial death is involved.

Mine broke up by text, 52 years old and a text. Say bye bye to this moron and live your life. He may change and grow up some day, but it is doubtful. Previous behavior predicts future behavior. He was thinking about this for a while and either met someone or is just an immature jerk. Good luck!

possible depression?

I like the depression comment above. When I came back from overseas I did exactly this. I stopped talking to or dealing with people and locked myself in my apartment unless I had to take my daughter somewhere, I was severely depressed and it happened suddenly. First few weeks I was back I was fine, not 100% but I still could go out and see friends and have a laugh then one day I just could not do it anymore. While your boyfriend did not just come back from overseas, there may be something else that has triggered him. A lot of guys do not tell their partner about depression/anxiety issues for a long time. I did not tell my now-wife for nearly two years. We fear that girls may think we will be more prone to abuse etc, and no-one wants to be thought of as that despicable a person. It is just a thought.

There's a lot more to this story that I could't write due to word limit. But my boyfriend was amazing. He was my best friend and made me feel like a queen. He always pampered me and respected my decisions and choices. He only turned silent in the last two days before he disappeared because we had sex for the first time.. and he's a bit conservative.. so he said he didn't want to do this and that it didnt feel right. After a while he was okay but then after that day he started acting distant. then he disappeared and refused to talk to me. I even told him to tell me if we're done and that I'll leave him alone and he refused to even do that.. it's so unlike him and such a strong reaction that I can't help but wonder what happened. My gut feeling tells me he's suppressing his feelings because he cut out everything abotu me from his life..

Can a guy lose feelings for a girl he was totally in love with over night?

^and no there's no other girl, haha.

i think this is one of those times where, as painful as it may be, you are better served by not wasting time on the "whys". ballsless would be my theory, as you can see, there are many others. but knowing why isn't going to change anything, so don't spend the time on it. he isn't on you, and doesnt deserve another second of your time. a year seems like a long time now, but in fifty years this year won't be anything but a blip or a story you tell to your grand-daughter about the bullet you dodged. and when digging deep and bucking up and moving on and being the bigger person amidst the asshats of the world isn't enough to get you through the day, a visualization involving stiletto steel toed boots and a swift but strategic kick sometimes helps. i'm sorry this happened to you.

Honestly, he could be feeling an insane amount of crushing guilt and/or self-hatred for doing something he was raised so strongly to think of as wrong, and might be trying to process. Also, his reaction speaks of anger toward you, which would make sense since he expressed his desire NOT to do something that happened anyway. Were you perhaps persuading him and ignoring his request? An ex did that to me, and I felt like I didn't matter to him, I hated myself, I was and am crushed by guilt, I felt disrespected, and I was angry that someone who claimed to love me didn't respect my expressly stated request and moral stances and did what he wanted anyway because it made him feel good. Like me, he probably holds half the blame for himself for giving in, but blames you for the other half for pushing him. It may honestly be a processing/angry time. He hasn't told you to get lost yet, but he hasn't said to stick around either. Maybe he's still figuring out how he's going to deal with this, but he's clearly angry. Whether or not there's a future here is kind of up in the air, at least from what I can guess from what you've said. If you did pressure him in any way, a sincere apology might be appropriate.

You said it happened a few days after you guys had sex for the 1st time, and he felt reluctant to do it, but did so anyway. You describe him as conservative, and he treated you" like a queen". Sounds like he out you upon a pedestal ...almost had an unrealistic view that you were perfect or something or that HE was , you know what I mean? We're either of you virgins? If so, was this discussed prior ( I'd hope so!!) before you had sex for the 1st time? Don't get mad ok? Was he a virgin or thought that you were? Only reason I'm saying this is that you said he's conservative and you've been with him a year... and you guys are just getting around to the sex part. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Its just that it's very unusual for a guy., no matter how 'conservative' , unless he's a " born again Christian"" ( and I use this term respectfully, I really do) to wait that long for sex unless he's a virgin or had issues with HIS sexuality that he was trying to come to terms with. Guys and gals who are fighting their sexuality ( dealing with feelings that they may be gay or bi) often put off sex. Could be he loves you very much but he didn't get the " proof" he needed by sex with you that he was straight. OR he felt so guilty ( due to religious) reasons ( doubtful) that he blames you somehow and sees it as you " pressured" him into sex before he was 'ready'.
Sounds to me that either way... gay, straight, bi, religious or whatever -- the guys an asshole and you're better off w/o him. Nobody tears a girl like that , just shuts you out like you're a nothing.... Let his ass go...! Let this be one of your New Years Resolution to avoid indecisive, prissy , judge mental assholes who won't embrace their sexuality ( whatever it is) . You'll find somebody else... ( I know everybody's told you this, but it's true!!). Hang in there... I know of which I speak ... dealt with this type myself.

We've been through a lot. We come from a very religious background and we are too. We had been planning on getting married and then doing it but I we got 'too horny'. He wanted it just as much as I did. But I knew it was because he was horny that he wanted it... he knew it was wrong but he's like ' i still want it'. I'm telling you, this guy was perfect. When we had sex, I looked at his face and it was filled with such remorse. And he kept saying, ' i was an idiot for wanting this, it didnt feel right, we shouldnt have done it.' I got pretty pissed because (even though he was being honest and I like that) the girly part of me was just thinking WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT RIGHT AFTER. So i started acting a little cold for a half hour and he said, 'you're so lucky you dont feel guilty'. Then he tried making me laugh and we went to sleep. All was well. He told me to spend thanksgiving with him the following weekend and we made plans. The next day, he started acting weird. One word responses, not as much talking. I didnt probe cause i wanted to give him space and let him figure it out on his own. I didnt want to act all clingy just yet. two days go by and then its our 1 yr. On our 1 yr he msgs me wishing me a happy 1 year and I reply back: 'where have you been bud, talk to me.' and he replies: 'norhting just been studying'. And I was like riiiiight, tell me what the deal is. And bam he dsiappeared. changed all his passwords to everything, refuses to talk to me, blocked me out of his life, blocked mutual friends (we went to hs together) deactivated his social networking sites for 3 months. He basically wants to pretend I dont exist.. Can guys actually feel that guilty?I do know that whenever we did anything sexual, after he came he woudl get depressed.. and he explained to me that some guys get depressed after an orgasm.. but after we had sex it was next level.

And yeah, we were both virgins.

Do you think he actually lost feelings for me overnight? Because I know he was deeeeply in love with me. I know its over, lol. But I hate the idea and don't beleive for a second that he just decided in a second that he lost feelings for me and proceeded to block me out of his life.. He's my best friend. I know the respect he had for me. I know what he went through to be with me. Yeah he screwed up at the end, yeah its hurtful, yeah im pissed, yeah i still love him deeply. Not letting him know that though, lol.

Sex (and lovemaking) is the great complicator. We'll never know what's truly going on in his head, although it sounds like guilt - guilt at giving in to his base instincts? guilt for not waiting longer? - is the primary seperator here. Your best bet is, sadly, to 'just let it go'. He obviously doesn't realize that communication between lovers would help him understand and parse through the guilt (i'll never understand silence; communication is rarely a bad thing in a relationship); unfortunately, you just happen to be caught in the middle of his ambiguous flip-flopping. It's his loss, in the end. Stay strong, and know that there are people out there who love you day in and day out without letting their childish uncertainties and muteness get in the way of loving you!

Sex (and lovemaking) is the great complicator. We'll never know what's truly going on in his head, although it sounds like guilt - guilt at giving in to his base instincts? guilt for not waiting longer? - is the primary seperator here. Your best bet is, sadly, to 'just let it go'. He obviously doesn't realize that communication between lovers would help him understand and parse through the guilt (i'll never understand silence; communication is rarely a bad thing in a relationship); unfortunately, you just happen to be caught in the middle of his ambiguous flip-flopping. It's his loss, in the end. Stay strong, and know that there are people out there who love you day in and day out without letting their childish uncertainties and muteness get in the way of loving you!

I don't think he lost his feelings for you overnight, but I do think he gained new ones in relation to you that REALLY upset him. Honestly, he's probably drowning in guilt and anger, and distancing himself from you is probably his way of processing. It's probably part punishment for you for being involved, part distancing because you remind him of what he did wrong/trying to pretend it didn't happen and he didn't mess up that badly, withdrawing into himself to do emotional triage, trying to figure out a new self-concept after this massive breach of his personal morals.... Honestly, he's in turmoil big time. I honestly don't know if he'll decide to come back to you. He may, but he also may not. Maybe his love for you will win out after he works out his crap (if so, for the love of all that's good, don't go beyond previously stated physical boundaries), but then again, maybe he'll decide this was just too upsetting and too much of a moral breach to go back to and stay away. It certainly doesn't mean he doesn't or didn't love you. It would mean, though, that this just hurt him too much to keep going and in order to avoid similar failures in the future he may believe staying away is best. I am truly sorry for how this situation hurt both of you, and I wish you both the best.