It's time for a little honesty and some things you don't want to hear that you won't like. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeere we go.
A guy in a long-term relationship will cheat on his girl and not break up with her because he doesn't want to lose her. He wants to sleep with other women that he has no intention of doing anything else with aside from boinking and then come back to you, the woman he actually loves. Now one might say, how can you truly love somebody and cheat on them. And you'd be right to ask that question. I think a lot of men have this uncanny ability to completely compartmentalize their emotional and physical needs.
Not that it's right. Be clear, I'm not saying it's right.
This dude can go sleep with a woman and have not one iota of emotional connection to her. She is merely fulfilling his desire to bed another woman or fulfil some physical need he's not getting at home.
Once again, that doesn't make it right or okay.
Whereas most women aren't able to separate the two (wouldn't sleep with a man for whom no emotional connection existed) man men are able to do so with ease. It's a sad but true facet of manhood. I actually know some women who have said they were able to do so as well. I can't say that I believed them but they brought it to me on their own after admittedly cheating on their boyfriends.
At the end of the day, your guy wants to be with you for the long-haul probably and has the wherewithall to realize that throwing that away by breaking up is a bad idea. Of course, he's also cheating on you which if brought to light would result in the same conclusion, so its generally a bad idea to cheat on your significant other for any reason.
He just won't realize how much of a mistake he might be making until its too late for him to fix it.
I've never really seen it from that perspective before. I am not saying the cheating is right, but at least it gives you an idea of the reasons behind it, maybe even begin to understand it.
Very wise answer :)
i have been with my man for 5 yrs now. In the first few years he cheated on me. they were either hookers or skanks he picked up at a bar when i wasnt with him. He told me every time.I totally appreciated his honesty. DIDNT LIKE IT...but appreciated the honesty. NOW that said. Your probably asking why i didnt break up with him. Well because I knew he loved me and was still seeing if the other side was greener. NOT right. But guys have funny ways of seeing things. He tells me all the time and even after with these woman. That i was better than any of them. The connection etc. For the past 2 yrs he only has been with one hooker. by the way he just gets bj's from them. NOT That it makes it right. But in his eye's its "safer". What I am trying to say, is Girls BFF is right on the nose with this one. I saw it for what it was and I knew these chicks were just one night stands and had nothing to offer him. and he KNEW it. Guys do know and guys DO have sex just for sex alone. But in the end they want someone who will love them and always be there for them. I suppose me being a Call girl in my early twenties helped me see this in him. Cause thats why guys came to me than. Quick easy sex. That was 20 yrs ago for me. But the lessons i learned from those men helped me with my relationships today. Be patient...but by NO means codone it. TELL him he's stupid to wreck such a great wonderful understanding woman like yourself =)
i have been with my man for 5 yrs now. In the first few years he cheated on me. they were either hookers or skanks he picked up at a bar when i wasnt with him. He told me every time.I totally appreciated his honesty. DIDNT LIKE IT...but appreciated the honesty. NOW that said. Your probably asking why i didnt break up with him. Well because I knew he loved me and was still seeing if the other side was greener. NOT right. But guys have funny ways of seeing things. He tells me all the time and even after with these woman. That i was better than any of them. The connection etc. For the past 2 yrs he only has been with one hooker. by the way he just gets bj's from them. NOT That it makes it right. But in his eye's its "safer". What I am trying to say, is Girls BFF is right on the nose with this one. I saw it for what it was and I knew these chicks were just one night stands and had nothing to offer him. and he KNEW it. Guys do know and guys DO have sex just for sex alone. But in the end they want someone who will love them and always be there for them. I suppose me being a Call girl in my early twenties helped me see this in him. Cause thats why guys came to me than. Quick easy sex. That was 20 yrs ago for me. But the lessons i learned from those men helped me with my relationships today. Be patient...but by NO means codone it. TELL him he's stupid to wreck such a great wonderful understanding woman like yourself =)
Or because she's a doormat with the word "Welcome" stamped across her forehead.
I found out that my boyfriend (48) of 4 months has been cheating on my since the beginning. I have practically moved in to his house and we were going full speed ahead. I always had activities planned for our off hours and kept our social calender full. After 3 weeks of being together all the time I asked him if he was my boyfriend and he said yes.
Then I find out he never stopped seeing his 'former' lover of year or so. She always knew about me but I was unaware of her. I confronted him with my suspicions and he confessed. Said he was sorry and that he wanted to keep seeing me. He agreed to give me his passwords to email and Facebook accounts and to check his phone whenever I want. However he has a business phone that I don't have much access to. I think they obviously had a different level or type of relationship than we do since she has always know about me and continued to see him.
He said he told me everything but I'm not sure he did. I wrote the lover an email from his account and signed his name to see if she would give up anymore information. I don't think she bought it. I'm not sure if she told my boyfriend or not.
So who does he love or care for the most in this case, me or her? I don't know if I can trust him or not.
It may be true to some extent or in some cases. However, I've known men who cheated on their wives/gf, and came back. There was obviously, no love - other reasons, conveniency, stability, etc. When these same men fall in love hard - they DO NOT CHEAT. They dont want to think or touch any woman except one they are in love in - that's when they give up their wifes, girlfriends. When a man truly loves - he does not cheat. From experience and observation - I firmly hold to this belief.
If they really love their wife or girlfriend why don't they realize that cheating will hurt their significant other? My ex used to cry to me saying he didn't want me to leave. I found out he was cheating or cheated on me. Then he'd tell me how it hurts him to see me stressed and sad because of what he did. Can someone tell me where I can find a guy that doesn't cheat? I keep reading the most men don't cheat, but how come all the guys i've dated are scum and can't keep it in their pants and lie through their teeth when they come home and say they love me? In the end all i get is hurt. I trusted him and put so much effort into making a life for "us" and he just never cared, but he made me believe he did. I hate dating and i hate cheaters and people who sleep with someone even though they know they are in a relationship