Probably because it is totally OK.
He didn't spring, fully formed, from the brow of a god, you know. He grew up, learned through experience, and became the guy you want to be with. A guy formed by his past. Some of that guy you want to be with was formed by his experiences with his ex.
So why should he forget that and dump the reminders? Something that helps you remember good times is nice to have. Look around your room for a minute - how many of the things you have are from your past?
You really shouldn't be jealous of someone he left before winding up with you. As long as he isn't reading them in front of you, ignore it. Mainly because it is none of your business.
Do you want to be thrown away and forgotten when it ends, or do you wat to be remembered for bringing something good to his life for whatever time you were together? I know what I'd pick.
Guys tend to see things differently; they don’t tag an emotion to objects like women do. I told my ex-husband that in order to forgive him, I need to forget him. I then took a dozen years of “memories”, shoved them in a box with a note & sent it to him. I said I didn’t want them anymore because they made me feel unhappy & I was going to go find happy now. It worked for me, maybe not for someone else though.
youre right, guys see and view stuff like that totally differently than women do..
youre right, guys see and view stuff like that totally differently than women do..
MM - how right you are. no big deal, and none of her business... unless he is flaunting it in her face or masturbating to the old love letters.... then it might cause a problem :)
MM - how right you are. no big deal, and none of her business... unless he is flaunting it in her face or masturbating to the old love letters.... then it might cause a problem :)
"It IS ok" is a great answer and so correct. I'd hate to meet the guy who is jealous of reminders of exes because one of my tattoos is a reminder* so if he didn't like it oh well! (*no one knows what it means anyway so if I don't mention it it isn't even an issue). I've kept old love poems, love letters, seashells, pictures, but they're all put away. Enjoy the moment, if he loves you then that shit shouldn't matter.
Your life is like a book. Albeit, there are chapters that I would rather forget, but they're still a part of my journey, and sometimes (not very often) it's nice to revisit those years. It's okay to keep old letters.
I would expect him to get rid of any of those sentimental items if she had dome something to hurt him or something. But if not, things like that are just a nice memory from a part of your life. Sometimes it's fun just to look at old stuff like that and it doesn't mean that the person is harboring some residual feelings of love. I make awesome homemade personalized cards and people keep them for years, exes included.
I'll always care about my first boyfriend and will keep mementos from him. It doesn't mean I want to be with him forever or that he's any threat to a future guy. It just means he at one point meant something to me and I have fond memories. I think it's sweet that your boyfriend still has good thoughts about his ex's...means he's not a bitter ex (which you just might appreciate some day!)
As long as they're not framed on his mantle or under his pillow or something, I don't think it's a big deal!
I was the person who asked the question. I see everyone's point I honestly do. However it's not just love letters there are pictures to. So this is more than just remembering the happy times
i remember my boyfriend, read a few letters to me when he was courting me from a girl he claims to have liked before, what's that supposed to mean??? the stuff she had given him - of little or big significance, lies at his bedside until now.. i have confronted him about these things and he said they mean nothing to him now.. but besides that is he still keeps photos of her in his phone and computer.. knowing that we don't even take photos together as much, i think i'm jealous but don't i have the right to be? what should i do?
So my husband now has an old album of his ex together. He told me many times that he will take of his and the puppies. That was months ago. I don't understand why in the world that we are married and he still dint make time to take off those pictures! And I still don't get when he says I married you but he still has those memories. And what happened to what's mine is urs if he's gonna get upset at me for seeing those photos?
What if his ex was a rotten horrible person that cheated on him and threw heavy objects at him when they fought? He was badly scared from their relationship and was single for 4 years before we met. We dated for 6 months before becoming boyfriend and girlfriend and now we just past our one year anniversary. I was cleaning out a drawer at his apartment to leave some clothes in (which he gave me permission to do) and I found a large envelope with tons of letter spanning over their 4 year relationship. She was unbelievably awful to him, why would he have letters from her stashed away? I don't get it?
What if his ex was a rotten horrible person that cheated on him and threw heavy objects at him when they fought? He was badly scared from their relationship and was single for 4 years before we met. We dated for 6 months before becoming boyfriend and girlfriend and now we just past our one year anniversary. I was cleaning out a drawer at his apartment to leave some clothes in (which he gave me permission to do) and I found a large envelope with tons of letter spanning over their 4 year relationship. She was unbelievably awful to him, why would he have letters from her stashed away? I don't get it?