I'll be honest. Every last word you write makes me think you're a bad person to date, and maybe just a bad person in general. You think being clingy is a good idea. You're intrigued by playing hard to get. And you think that all sorts of people love you.
This paints a clear picture of a very immature, very self-centered woman that is on a dangerous path towards being a poisonous friend and girlfriend in the years to come. Hopefully, this system of beliefs you have is just a result of you being young and ignorant of how people like to be treated. I'm going to work under that assumption, because that means that you can be helped. And I'm going to help you.
Being clingy is not a good thing. Being clingy means that you constantly need attention and validation. Guys don't like clingy, because clingy means they need to babysit you or else you'll get cranky. Instead of "clingy," try "compassionate" or "interested." You should want someone to spend time with you because they like you and you like them. Make people want to be with you by being interesting, funny, and charming, not because you're a clingy child that would have a tantrum otherwise.
Playing hard to get is also not a good thing. Is it fun? Perhaps, but it is also sadistic. The thrill of the chase is fun for the person being chased, but the person doing the chasing can be made to feel inadequate and hurt. If you like a guy and he likes you, it's fine if you start dating. You don't need to run someone through the gauntlet first. That's what cruel people do, and I hope you don't become (or remain) cruel.
I sincerely hope that you are a better person than your question led me to believe. And I also hope that you can change your behavior. If you keep acting the way you are now, you're going to be lonely, and all those around you will see you as a manipulative and petulant child.
Ladies, what are your thoughts on this? Does she need a drama intervention?
Related Links:
Wow MM, you really hit this one on the head. We live in a very complex world these days for sure, but if this person wants to play games and act one way or the other way to elicit a particular response, then what she will attract to her are people that are similarly minded, that play games and are not honest. I can't stress enough how important it is to be yourself, let men come and let them go if they want to go. With luck, eventually the right one comes along and everything falls into place.
Excellent answer, MM! She does need a whack upside the head and a drama intervention, but she probably won't listen if someone bothered to try. Playing games will only lead you to misery, Question Asker. People do NOT love you more when you're clingy. They probably feel sorry for you.
I think the question (however poorly composed) has yet to be answered. Maybe her question was more about why playing hard-to-get in her town seems not to yield success in dating. The opposite of hard-to-get for lack of a better word = clingy
Well if she is a hot chick guys will put up with it for awhile because she is hot. Once the novelty wears off, (meaning her hotness) they will get tired of it and break up with her. So if she wants to stop this pattern stop being so clinging and dramatic. Guys do not like either one of those and there tolorence for it only lasts so long.
young baby girl....
This is totally presumptuous on my part, but I'm guessing you're young - high school or college. Dating during these years is often riddled with drama and people not knowing what they really want out of a relationship. It sounds like you're also attracting a large number of co-dependent guys, too. Look up co-dependency if you've never hurt of it; i think it'll help you out!
Awesome answer. But MM, can you explain whats the difference between playing hard to get and just giving your man space so that he can come back to you? Ive read lots of articles that say MEN do not like to be pursue and men do like to make the first overtures. Since dating this guy I am with, Ive resolved to not text him much, and hes only texted me once in a while (about 1-3 a week only). I text him rarely, he initiates about 95% of the time.
I am not playing hard to get at all! Ive just decided that if men want a girl, they will pursue her. And clearly, he isnt pursuing me that hard. I saw him on New Years, then saw him last week. I like him a lot, but Ive given him a lot of space. How do I know he likes me? Am I driving him away by chosing not to text him much, by letting him do all the asking out, and by giving him lots of space???? I just sort of concluded that if a guy wants to be boyfriend, he will make it clear.
On a side note, he hasnt had much dating experience too. Idk whats up really.