I think people think men and women are so different because really, we are. If you troll any number of websites, forums, and message boards where men and women and women are debating relationships, you will see (often) vast differences in perspectives and methods to achieve the same goal. We all seem to want the same things but tend to travel very different paths to get there.
While personality is definitely the defining factor in how two people will ultimately get along, there are various intra-gender similarties that all tend to trend towards average over time. Men tend to trend towards the logical. Women tend to trend towards emotional. It's not to say that men and women can't display characteristics of the both, but think about arguments you've had with men and women. Or just conversations. Men tend to be very matter of fact and straight to the point, for better or worse. Women tend to be more concerned about various details of the story that may or may not have any bearing on the story's conclusion, for better or worse.
It's not to say that one method is more right than the other, it's just a fact that men and women tend to process things differently. That's why so many books and websites exist. If we were all the same, there wouldn't be so many issues amongst the genders nor would relationship books and sites rake in so much money. Everybody wants to believe that they have it figured out, until they realize that they don't.
While we definitely don't speak for all men here at Guyspeak, we represent a voice of a man because we think like men. Our perspective could help inform somebody trying to understand why their boyfriend is doing something or saying something. Plus, we fill the gap between "what I feel" and "what is really happening" that so many women seem to struggle with. We may not be experts, but we're men. And we think like men.
It's only misleading if somebody were take what we say and assume that it is the end all be all. Sometimes we get it right, sometimes we don't. That's why people can weigh in. But I'll tell you one thing. There's not a woman alive who is more of an expert on being a man than a man is, and vice versa.
I think sites like this help because we all have questions and we all want answers.
When it comes to love, everybody needs help.
Very well said!
I'm fine getting advice from guys, it's just another way to categorise people. But I'd like to think most of us are smart enough to see that it really doesn't make much of a difference with almost everything else. My most emotionally open friends are guys, while my girl friends are into mountain climbing and video games. Because that's just people.
And I'd argue with the "There's not a woman alive who is more of an expert on being a man than a man is, and vice versa" thing because it puts us both very firmly in separate camps, and I've found from several groups of many friends that people really, honestly are, just people. What they like and what they do and the way they think has little influence from their sex and gender. But maybe I have a lot of intelligent friends who question whether their behaviour is forced from society or genuinely who they are. That's not to say I don't know any girly girls or blokey guys, but there's a massive spectrum of the way people behave and either sex can be anywhere on it.
I think the guy thing is just an interesting way to categorise answers. I don't honestly think that these guys think they're speaking for all men. And if some get a bit sexist, I tend to tune off, because as a woman, I'm not here to read about how "men think like this and women think like this" because, for the most part, the guys writing here are more intelligent than that, and usually come up with better answers than typical stereotype fodder.
I miss Swaim.
Hear hear!
I miss Swaim too.
le sigh.
Just to clarify, I really like the majority of your answers too, although I always identify more with what you term "male" characteristics. :) You and Swaim are my favourites.
I think sometimes people have a tendency to look at themselves and characterise their behaviour as part of their own sex or gender, then assigning the opposite behaviour to the opposite sex. For example, you feel that you "tend towards the logical". You are also male. These things become linked in your head, without perhaps thinking that it is not a cause/effect relationship, but simply an attribute that you as a person have, not you as a male.
And if you find yourself to be the logical one in arguments with an emotional one, I'd argue that opposites attract, and if you were an emotional man, you might very well end up with a logical woman. Which is what always seems to happen to me as well, and for a very long time I saw men as being over-emotional, without realising that it was only the emotional men I ended up with, and that's why I classified them in that way. Um. Yes. Writing a thesis on this subject, I have a moderate tendency to go on a bit. Sorry ^_^
Actually, now, there are books available that say, indeed, we are not as diffeent as we think. I understand men and women have different thought patterns, but the 'men are from Mars and women are from Venus' ideas that are pounded into our heads by the media, society, etc. are inaccurate in my opinion. There are things that men and women as human beings can relate on, and if we spent our time discussing these issues rather than those that divide us, the world would be a better place, because we truly are more alike than we are different.