Simple: because women in their twenties will date them. If the twenty-something women of world would band together and collectively decide to stop dating older men, older men would open their eyes and realize that there are plenty of amazing women out there within their age bracket who have similar life goals and are also familiar with the hits of Boston, Chicago, Kansas, and other bands named after locations.
Perhaps you've heard of something called the mid-life crisis. Well, these days, it starts much earlier than 50. Guys in their thirties and forties dress like 20-year-olds, play video games, buy fancy gadgets, wear t-shirts bearing the logos of toys and movies they grew up with, and date younger women. All of this is for the sole purpose of trying to forget that they are losing their hair, gaining weight, and generally feeling the effects of old age. Dating a younger woman makes a man feel younger. Just look at Hugh Hefner. Actually, don't. He's gross.
And the crazy thing is, older men can get away with acting like they are perpetually 25. Movies like The Hangover and I Love You, Man revel in the new male: the man-child who refuses to grow up. Not acting your age is the new acting your age. It's a total double standard: when older women date younger men, they are called "cougars" and treated like they are preying on poor, dimwitted young dudes. Women are expected to want to settle down by the time they're in their thirties, while men of a certain age get a free pass to run around with younger women and pretend like they aren't being held together by a potent cocktail of Centrum, Rogaine, ginkgo biloba, and Cialis. And in some ways this is true: men don't have the biological clock thing to worry about and can (in theory) have children well into their fifties. Just look at David Letterman. Actually, don't. He's also kind of gross. (Though hilarious!)
Younger women like the stability, experience (both of the sexual and life variety), and maturity that older men represent. And, yeah, there is the "daddy" complex thing. Older men think that a woman in her twenties isn't looking for the same type of commitment (marriage, kids, etc.) that a women in her thirties might be. Dating a younger woman is a status symbol for some men. And, yes, there is the misconception that younger women are better and wilder in bed. The truth is that plenty of women in their twenties are looking for a serious commitment, while plenty of women in their thirties are looking for no-strings-attached flings.
I would suggest looking at the types of men you're dating. Maybe the men you gravitate towards are man-babies going through a phase of needing to date someone younger. Maybe "dating younger women" for them is code for "I don't want a commitment." Plenty of men in their late thirties and forties are ready to settle down, or at least be in a serious relationship with someone who is emotionally mature and closer to their age.
Most people I know who are married, or in long-term relationships, are around the same age. Plenty of older men marry younger women. But, often, they get it out of their system and settle down with someone in their age range. It's pretty hard to feign interest in Gossip Girl and Ke$ha once you're in your fifties.
Half of these men, probably already have kids, or divorced* so they are on the "single" thing. No strings attached.
Great answer!
Something to add:
Sometimes the older guys want to date the younger women bc they're not as much work as the older women. The young ones don't challenge the man as much, and he's a lazy son-of-a-gun who only wants a willing vagina.
Watching my daughter's father with a girl 20 years his junior is actually making me crack up laughing. He's nearly 40 and still dates teenagers.
you sound a little ( or a lot) bitter. I think maturity has a lot to do with education level and not really with age. Women in their twenties are perfectly capable of being mentally challenging. However, the ones with a good education tend to marry men of a similar age while they are working/met someone at school and the dumb ones try to marry a man for his money because they have nothing else to offer than their youth and looks. ( This phenomenon is backed up by stats) So, don't write off women in their twenties because they don't "challenge" men. Some do...
Also, if he was actually DATING teenagers he would be "raping" them, at least according to my state. It sounds like you were trying to be demeaning towards twenty year olds by calling them teenagers.... you shouldn't be displacing your anger towards your ex husband on an innocent group of women. Maybe he just likes younger women cause they tend to be less bitter????
He dates 18 year old girls. And no, I'm not bitter, just frustrated that he's so immature.
Wow. Calling her bitter because her daughter's father is dating teenage girls? He's supposed to be a role model for their little girl. You must be pretty young yourself, without the experience of becoming a mom and watching your lover become a father. You will understand her better when you get a little older and have a little more experience. There is a lot more to REAL relationships than eye cream and flirting.
Wow. Calling her bitter because her daughter's father is dating teenage girls? He's supposed to be a role model for their little girl. You must be pretty young yourself, without the experience of becoming a mom and watching your lover become a father. You will understand her better when you get a little older and have a little more experience. There is a lot more to REAL relationships than eye cream and flirting.
Bitter much??, ofcourse they are not as much work. You older women are too uptight and marriage obsessed. (see how I spun your comment around. PS-That is a generalization, just like your comment). Stop being so bitter and let your EX live his life...go and live yours too and stop obsessing about his new found love.
Nah, don't want to get married. BTW, the only reason it's aggravating is that it sets a bad example for our kid. I wouldn't care who or what he dates if he didn't constantly bring her into it.
From the point of view of a 20-something woman dating a man in his 30s, it is appealing because we're at the same level when it comes to maturity, education, career and commitment interest. (It's obviously unattractive, though, when an older man dates a woman in her 20s because he wants to be 20.)
True. I get attention from MUCH older men. And actually they are not as mature as you would think. HOwever, I want to stress that the young guys or guys around your age that you date WILL also be old too. At that time, they will also be tempted to go after the younger ladies. THEY WILL, trust me. Men see things and feel things quite differently at an older age. The friendship part doesnt matter quite as much anymore, sex and attention gets more emphasis. I see men who are faithful and loving with their woman until theyre like 40,50, 60 and BAM! They start losing interest in staying faithful and turn into mancougars. Seriously...so for all the ladies who date younger men or men around their age, HES GOING TO CHANGE SOMEDAY. Hes gonna want a piece of the young girls. MEN CHANGE, and thats why im reluctant to date men my age. Sometimes. MOst of the time lol. But i also find old guys a little appealing because they are less jumpy and laid back. Hes more confident in who he is, despite the fact that 99.9% of the time they are just perves.
I have always dated older men. I am in my 20's and typically date guys in their 30's. The reasons are first, guys in their 20's are still just having fun and lack experience in multiple areas of life. The male maturity rate is a bit slower than the female.
Granted there are the old men that are looking for the arm candy, and they don't count as they aren't even in a real relationship. Or its more for a social/financial relationship.
To all the 30+ single women out there. The only thing that's stopping you form competing with these women is a fun flirty attitude and a good eye cream. Confidence is hot at any age, and men love it. If you are "fighting" a 20 year old for a guy ask your self this simple question: Is this really a guy I want to be involved with in the first place. More often than not he's a waist of time and move on to someone else. Your a female. It isn't that hard to get laid.
And yes, I will continue to date guys about 10 years older than me because I love listening to Boston, and the Eurythmics. And love Rambo and St Elmo's Fire.
""when older women date younger men, they are called "cougars" and treated like they are preying on poor, dimwitted young dudes. Women are expected to want to settle down by the time they're in their thirties, while men of a certain age get a free pass""
BS! Are you telling women what they want to hear? Because you can't possibly believe the above. You full well know its the opposite. It is MEN who are judged and deemed to be "users of young women", and its men who are judged.
The older women pursuing young guys? They are most often called smart, sassy and sophisitcated, while the older guy dating a young a woman is said to be exploiting her...
YOU JUST DID IT YOURSELF. Your entire article tries to present men doing it as somehow being wrong and needing to "grow up". Women are never told to "grow up".
It's simple biology. Young women have all the "signals" of fertility. Flat stomach, good waist to hip ratio, firm breasts, and of course youth. In many other primate species as well as other mammals, an "alpha" male will be older until he can't fend off a challenger. Simple and in a nutshell, yes. But it's true.
Men with age become gentler and more graceful at treating women which is why they become more attractive to women. You see, men are always being judged when going on dates with women and in relationships since they are teens, and all women mostly do is judge men, so when women get old the shit really hits the fan for them because they never learned all the things men learned through their life out of constantly being judged by women. Older men become pros at attracting women, on the other hand women become pros at judging men and looking for faults.
NO WONDER NOBODY WANTS TO DATE OLDER CHICKS.
HOW DARE YOU EVEN COMPARE THE EXCELLENT TREATMENT AND LENGTHS MEN WILL GO TO, WHEN COURTING A WOMAN you lazy dating parasite.
Of course some men never learn anything, thus end up dating the older women you talk about here.
Nice talking to you Pat.
Men and women want to be around others who are happy, attractive, enthusiastic and energetic regardless of age and gender. It's silly to focus on age as a factor while ignoring that happiness, attractiveness, enthusiasm, and energy are more often found among the young and the young-at-heart.
Judging by the content and tone of the article, these are things that the writer apparently knows little about.
Life is short. Learning about cultivating a good attitude will do more for attracting the right kind of people and things than criticizing others for exploring how to enjoy their own lives.
Very well said, thank you for being real.
Midlife crisis or not, there is nothing quite like having an 18 to 20 year old girl perk up when she sees me entering the room, smiling when I invite her out for a date, or unbutton her blouse when I tell her to undress.
I'll take that over a tired, worried 30-50 year old woman any day. And if I someday see the error of my ways and settle down with an older woman, what have I lost in the mean time? Nothing I can't do without.
Nice way of generalizing there, bud. Exactly how old are you? I'm 31, I've always been drawn to older men and I'm also far from being "tired and worried". That and I'm often told that I look much younger then my actual age. Not only that but most of my friends are much older then myself(50's and up) so you are obviously not having much luck finding the decent 30+ women out there.
I can't help but find the writer is a bit hypocritical at saying don't look at the older man because they are gross when criticizing men for wanting to date younger women.
This guy looks like PAT from Saturday Night Live, honestly when I first saw his photo I tough It was a lesbian, jajaja I am not KIDDING!!, Hes probably just pissed cuz he can´t get a date. I mean look at him!! you think any young women would date this CREEP!! jajaja, I´ll tell you who would date him without a doubt, OLDER WOMEN!!!. O and thanks to your article, Ashton (dumb boy)Kusher is my new MATURITY ROLE MODEL!!!.
When I was a teen and early twenties I was bombarded with these MUCH older men. I mean, they were so annoying by nature. I broke down and just dated them because there was nothing else and it's the biggest regret I have in life. I didn't find this mysterious "maturity" people swoon over, what I found were men lying to me about their real ages, lying about their marital status, violence, silliness, physical ugliness, selfishness, and so on and so forth. I wasted my time dating older men because for one thing, I never "wanted" them to begin with", I just had very low self-esteem, and they exploited it.
But anyway, I've moved past all that and will never date an older man again. This is not open for debate, I'm just making a clear statement about the best decision I've made in my life. For me, older men are in the dumpster.
Ok, younger women I have some advice for you. I am a 38 year old woman who has been married to a man 16 years her senior for over 5 years. We are headed for divorce court very soon. Young women I suggest you STOP dating the older man, I don't care how sweet, gentle, kind they are oh and don't forget charming. Once this is over a man 5 years my senior or any older will be too old for me. I have just hit my sexual peck and I want it all the time and can go for hours. He is now a 10 minute man, ok I'lI give him 15. Dating and marrying a man closer to your age or younger than you is the best thing you could do for yourself. It was just going to be a little harmless dating, that was the plan when I met him. Then he proprosed to me, I was so excited about the proposal I said "YES"! Now, it's not just the sex life, it's his ability to lose interest in life. Meaning he becomes BORING!!! He becomes settled. You will find yourselves going out quite a bit by yourself. His conversation becomes very depressing as he sets around reads the newspaper and watches the news all day along with sports. Now let me express this is my experience with my husband. My reasons for dating the older man in the first place was because I was sick of the games men my age were playing. So I ran for the hills, little did I know men of all ages play games. Most women in a marriage with an older man will find herself aging quicker. Statistic show being with a older man is not healthy for the women it shortens her years but it's healthly for the man. Find someone to grow old with not someone old that's going to watch you grow old. Prime example Ashton left Demi he made a statement about the fact he felt he was growing old before his time. It's true on both ends! Make wise choices ladies!
Great article!! i completely agree!
well said! excellent article!
Young women should never waste their youth dating much older men unless it's an experiment, or he's very rich and you desire wealth over love (which is fine as long as you're sure what you want). The reason I say this is, if you primarily date older men when you're young, and then if still single or divorced by the time your 40+, and can't get men in that age group to date you, when would you have ever enjoyed the touch of a young, strong man? Because the truth is, your desirability as a woman starts to fade by about 33/34, according to our ageist society. Doesn't mean it's gone, it's just not going to be as easy as when you were 23. Men are men. Furthermore, people divorce too easily in America. If you can, try to make your marriages work. Because it sounds as if dating past 40 can be cruel. I'm almost 34, and I'm almost certain that ONLINE men are mostly looking for women in their 20's. But in real life, I think you're more likely to meet a man who looks at your overall package before your age.
To me, and I'm 47, women over 40 look scary, with strong facial features, angry, bitter, demanding, impossible, even ugly. Men only get better with age. Dateable women are those who are 37 and under. If I can't find one that age, I'm staying single!