You must date a lot of sensitive emo dudes. Just kidding. If he wants to cuddle after sex, and he's not your boyfriend or husband, it means he either has feelings for you or thinks it's what you want. Maybe he doesn't want to seem like a jerk by hopping right out of bed like he has to catch a bus. Or if he has feelings for you, he's trying to prolong the afterglow. When they feel it, men cuddle for the same reasons that women do. Otherwise, they're doing it out of obligation and/or so as not to seem like they're only interested in sex.
By all means, if you don't want to cuddle, let the guy know. Get up, get dressed. Suggest a good place for brunch, or a movie to watch. Or just get the f-- out of there and get on with your day. He'll get the idea from your actions. If neither of you are feeling it, there's no reason to force the cuddling. And if you don't see him as more than a hook-up, it's best not to lead him on. Just like women, guys can sometimes read into stuff like cuddling. (Particularly the sensitive emo types.)
Cuddling after sex: Yay or nay?
By all means, if you don't want to cuddle, let the guy know. Get up, get dressed. Suggest a good place for brunch, or a movie to watch. Or just get the f-- out of there and get on with your day. He'll get the idea from your actions. If neither of you are feeling it, there's no reason to force the cuddling. And if you don't see him as more than a hook-up, it's best not to lead him on. Just like women, guys can sometimes read into stuff like cuddling. (Particularly the sensitive emo types.)
Cuddling after sex: Yay or nay?
Depends if it's sex or making love.
Haha, tons of women beg for this! I'd be curious to know whether you're in any sort of committed relationship or not. Like Nick said, it makes a difference. If it bothers you give him a nice little peck after a few minutes of cuddling and head on out to do your thing, or drag him with you if you want. As long as he knows you enjoyed it you're good!
Cuddling: YAY!
My guy and I cuddle every night before we go to sleep. It's a nice way to fall asleep, and it makes me feel special. (That sounded kinda lame, huh? But it's true.)
Nope! Not lame at all. I love it when my man cuddles with me. Night cuddles, morning cuddles and whatever-hour-in-between cuddles. I think it's super sweet.
It's not lame, it's super sweet and special. My boyfriend always holds me randomly throughout the night but the other night he held me ALL night long. I was definitely smiley-girl that morning. Waking up in his arms is my favorite way to wake up.
Yep!!! *sigh* Cuddles make me all dreamy!
Right?! How can someone not enjoy that feeling lol, Craziness.
My man can't let me go (from his arms) before falling asleep and as soon as he's half awakened. I LOVE IT. :)
I'm surprised you found a guy that actually wants to cuddle. Most don't, it seems. Why is that, by the way, Nick?
A couple reasons. Either they don't want to give you the idea that they want a relationship (cuddling = relationship just like meeting his parents = relationship) or they have intimacy issues. For many guys, sex is the ultimate intimacy and the cuddling just seems like, as the question asker said, something they do out of obligation that is a waste of time. It could also be a message that he's pulling away from the relationship, like "this is just about sex." But if he's in love with you, there will be cuddling.
How can you say that for many guys sex is the ultimate intimacy when for a lot of guys sex is just sex? Or for all guys, as some point, sex is just sex.
Some guys feel the intimacy with sex and don't need the cuddling part. Obviously it depends on how strong their feelings are for the girl their with. Some guys like to cuddle, some don't get anything out of it. Usually the ones who have problems with cuddle have trouble with intimacy and opening up in other ways.
When it's only sex, I'm find it kinda awkward to cuddle lol, because I mean we had fun that was nice but it's not like I'm going to spend the rest of the day in bed with you so ... I usually just get up and get ready.
When feelings are involved, that's DEFINITELY not the same thing. Its a way to keep sharing a special moment with the other .. Keep being one..
(yeah I know that sounds soooo cheesy but hey, that's true! at least for me ^^)
I know some guys who LOVE to cuddle. One of my male friends (who's rather promiscuous) has said to both me and his best friend (my boyfriend!) that sometimes, when he brings a girl home, he wishes he could just skip the sex part and cuddle. So odd haha. I love to cuddle now, but when my boyfriend and I were just f-buddies, it was just weird if we did. That's how I figured out he had feelings for me... he suddenly really wanted to cuddle.
I can't imagine having sex and then just saying Okay well thanks for the orgasm but I have to get going! My boyfriend is a cuddler, thank God. And it is not something I had to ask for or train him to enjoy lol. Having sex with him feels amazing from the minute we're in the bed until the minute we get out of bed because he makes me feel special the entire time, including holding me tight after we're done for a good long while. I love it, so I guess I'm lucky. Not enjoying being close to each other in the afterglow seems so weird to me. To each his (or her) own I guess.
The guy I'm with at the moment, its supposed to be a 'friends with benefits" sort of situation. He loves to cuddle. It was weird for me at first. I'm not really a cuddler until I met him. We cuddle and talk for hours after sex and in between. Those have become now some of my favorite moments with him sometimes even more than the sex which is amazing. He'll hold me so tight that I can barely change positions. he'll ease up just enough to let me readjust and then tightens his arms around me again. If I spend the night he'll cuddle/spoon me most of the night. Once in a while he'll move away and have his own space but even during this time he moves his foot over until its touching mine. Then off and on during the night he'll move back, pulling me tight back into his arms again and we'll sleep like that for a while. Back and forth all night long. Love waking up in his arms.
@ Selena - You guys won't be FWBs for long at the rate you're going!
Wendy, thats exactly what I'm going through at the moment. My "friend with benefits" situation is exactly how you just described. But at times I feel that i might develop some feelings for him which makes me want to stop, but a part of me doesn't want to stop seeing him and spending time with him. See, we've known each other for 2 years now, and i don't want him to be out the picture just yet.
Nick, if my FWB is spooning me, cuddling, wants me to sleep over, and i receive texts from him everyday from morning to night, what are his exact feelings for me?