An apposite one - If I knew the answer, I'd be a millionaire. Control it, I could hire Bill Gates as my pool boy.
Still ....
There are three factors that influence who you fall in love with. Chemical, psychological and, for want of a better word, spiritual.
Chemical is definitely a huge part of falling in love. Not just pheromones to attract you, but the various sex hormone levels and the unholy trinity of oxytocin, seratonin and dopamine levels play a huge part in falling in love.
Then there is your psyche. Expectations, hang-ups, quirks and sub-concious thoughts from your past, way back into earliest childhood from every person you have ever dealt with in any way. That has a strong influence on who you are initially attracted to.
But we are not just machines, hence the third aspect - the spiritual. The thing that is inexplicable yet makes us more than the sum total of our chemistry and experience, alloing us to go against chemistry and our psyche as we wish.
Most people in your situation blame chemistry. It is the easiest thing to blame.
MM do you think you can totally get over one love that didn't work out and fall in love with someone else? Or is there a part of you that will always want the other person?
You can never totally get over it. You certainly can and probably will fall in love again, maybe two or three times, but you will always remember it.
Nothing wrong in that. It is like everything else - something that makes you who you are.
Thanks for the insight. I am 31 and moving on from the first guy I have ever loved. It is the harder than I ever could have imagined, but if you say there is love is possible in the future, I believe it.
Oh, I'm sure you *CAN* totally get over someone. I'm completely over my exes. I've accepted my responsibility on my part for my mistakes, learned from them, and moved on. Not simple or easy, but certainly possible.
there are exceptions. i no longer love my ex husband, i have absolutely no positive feelings for him whatsoever. actually i can't even be in a 50 yard radius of him without wanting to vomit. i wouldnt call what we had love though, and even if it was, it's an exception though. but those exceptions are like the rule, simply make up who you are and who you love in the future, when others do come around. and they do.
I dont think people really understand what love is, either. How do you love someone who dont really know, who has no feeling for you, and is with someone else. Thats not love, that is infatuation.
not necessarily, unless you are talking about george clooney. in which case, as soon as he meets me it will no longer be simple infatuation. but the OP didnt say she didn't know him. yes, you CAN love someone who has no feelings for you...if they did once...or if they are with someone else...especially if they were with you once. but you are right, nobody really understands it. all human emotions are like that if you really think about it. how many questions have we seen "why did he get mad about", "why is he jealous over", or "what will make him happy."
...and not to mention the ever popular "wanting what you can't have"
That is usually crusking, infatuation or outright stupidity. By the tone of the question, I assumed the questioner knows the difference.
The fact that you are far away geographical can be an extra blessing, and I think situations like this can be a great learning experience. There has to be some reason you are drawn to him, some characteristic or trait that he has or that he makes you feel like you have. It's not always easy to pinpoint, but something about this guy is special to you. Once you figure out what that is, and you've distanced yourself from him enough to hopefully get over him, you can use that knowledge to find a guy that you have the same kind of attraction to, but without any of the negative traits this guy has.
geographically*
Love is a very beautiful yet, an exceedingly difficult emotion to understand. I have no idea how we humans do it. I have experienced it and I do not know how the heck it works. But I do feel sorry for you, I find it SO hard to get over guys you have already taken a fancy to. It makes me want to cry, when I think about giving up my lovely little man Nicholas. Eventually he will start to drift off your mind and you will realise. Just take it slow and hopefully you will find a better guy. Good luck honey I am with you and so is the world. :)
I cannot believe how abalabatemple@gmail.com do it, but my boyfriend is back. Not just half-hardheartedly back, like full force and wants to married me still, openly discussing any issues we've had and bringing up solutions to work on it. You have been so helpful to me throughout this love spell you cast for me. THANK YOU is not enough. I believe you are my guardian angel.......Jonda, USA.
Love this girl shes 19,why did I choose her I dont know over others,whe have things in common I think about her all the time sometimes I cry becouse shes not speaking to me I met her in my acting class wheve never dated I dont think she she likes that way and wants to be friends I cant get over her nor doo I want to give up wanting to have her one day.
I want to testify to the Goodness of DR.STANLEY for bring my lover back to me after 2days he casted the spell, my lover left me and my 2 kids for another woman but now all the thanks goes to Dr. Stanley for bringing him back to me if you are in any type of problem in your relationships or in your broken marriage contact Dr. Stanley on his email address for help on drstanleyspelltemple@hotmail.com. Belinda.