I assume that you are using the word "boyfriend" loosely. There is no way in Hades that you can be dating somebody seriously for that long and never meet his friends. It should be an impossibility. At some point during the course of ANY relationship, you go to a party or get together at somebody's home, etc. That usually happens within the first six months if the guy's really feeling you.
So to have gone four years without meeting his friends? I hate to tell you, but I'm not sure that you're his girlfriend. You might have sex and spend some quality time, but I'm guessing that's about as far as it goes.
I'm guessing if you haven't met his friends, you have yet to meet his parents either, right? Being exceptionally good looking might be why he's keeping you around and perhaps you do that thing with your tongue or something that he really enjoys. But any man who is genuinely interested in your and your life and a commitment with you would bring you around his friends so that they can give him the hi-five on doing such a good job. As a man, your friends are vital to your growth. You want to make sure that your girlfriend gets along with your boys. It's just one of those things that is.
So, he doesn't bring you around his friends because you're not his girlfriend. Perhaps he's bringing somebody else around them and you should probably be trying to find out, from him, why you haven't met the friends. After four years, anything short of "they all died on a plane crash a few years ago" is not a legit excuse.
It was written.
Dude, this sucks. I feel really bad for this girl. Like, I'm literally upset for her.
This happened when I was engaged to be married 3 years ago. I had met the "rents" but not the friends. It turned out that he was a pathological liar; not only was almost everything he told me untrue, but he didn't have any friends. Like, none. The reason I know this is because his brother confirmed it.
I'm glad I found all this out before I took the plunge!
To the poster, however, I'm sorry to say that this douche probably sees you as a booty-call and that's it. Kick his sorry butt to the curb.
If this guy has friends, then yeah, a curb-side ass kicking is in order. If he truly cared for you as his girlfriend, he wouldn't keep you a secret. Especially if you're as great as you say you are. He'd want to show you off; If anything, just to get a high-five from his buddies on how he *scored* such a hot chick. Not even that. My guy introduced me to his best friend just 2 months into our relationship and now look at us - hitting up six flags for my guy's birthday together, besties in tow.
So next time you see your "boyfriend", ask him, "yo, what the shit? when am I going to meet your roll dawgs?" If he evades answering or you smell bull poop, do like OJ and get the hell outta Dodge. *a hem* or in OJ's case, get the hell outta Bronco.
Sounds like jude dumped him because he LIED about having friends, not because he didn't have any. Because you're right, a lot of people keep to themsleves. (Ted Kazynski comes to mind...) But she said he was a pathological liar, which is probably moreso why she ended it.
Ok...i think the blame is on both sides. 4 years and not once questioned him about it? did he meet any of her friends who may have asked what are his friends like...
Ehh, I'm wary of people who don't have friends. 99.99% of the time there's a reason why.... its usually because they have trouble relating to others. Having a small group of close friends is totally fine nad normal too, Vee. You shouldnt be categorizing yourself in that group with the unibomber as a no friends person haha. BTW that lone wolves reference totally made me think of Allen from the Hangover in his toast... lol.
BTW how do you get ENGAGED to someone without meeting thier friends at all??
I sincerely don't understand how it's even humanly possible to avoid meeting a guy's best friends for even a few WEEKS after a relationship has begun. Why would he start seriously dating you in the first place if he didn't like you enough from the get-go to be seen with you around them? Last time I met the parents, brother, and multiple close friends even BEFORE we were in a legitimate relationship. He also met most of my friends beforehand. Isn't it just natural that you might be invited to something he and his friends are doing together, even a party? I don't know. I just don't see why in even a fairly new relationship, you wouldn't want to know those kinds of things.
Being a guy, I will go out on a limb and say that you are either not his girlfriend, or you are not his number one...either way you are waisting your time...go get you a real man that cherishes you. If you are as good looking as you say you are, why have you put up with this for four years? Contrary to popular belief, there are plenty of us "real" men out there, but first you have to shake the boy off you (or shake yourself from him). Ladies, don't settle for "not good" there is plenty "good" out there.
I agree with PJ on this one. You are clearly not a girlfriend.
Regarding meeting friends - a girl that I've just started seeing may meet my friends - if they were around when I met her or if we run into them when we're out, or if they are needed to play wingman for one of her friends that she is hanging out with. But it is not something that is expressly planned upon.
Until we've had some history (say 4-5 dates and known each other for a month or two), I wouldn't just invite you to something with my friends. I guess the people I call my friends are a bit more tightknit than most so you don't enter this group unless it looks like you may be staying. My friends may know about girls I'm dating, but don't meet them unless it gets to a more serious stage.
ok what about me then....we have been dating 7 months now, I have briefly met his closest friend and his wife and another older friend. Briefly, meaning they stopped by for a few minutes one day when I was at his house. I have met some of the family, dad, step mom, brother and his wife and a few others at a funeral. This is why this is confusing. His closest friend I met said we should hang out and I have kids and he mentioned me bringing them along. But I have never hung out with them, he goes to they're house and sometimes to play pool, but doesnt invite me. We only get to see each other once a week usually due to schedule, school kids etc. So should I be worried....is he ashamed of me....ashamed of his friends or stories they might tell me...not sure if I should bring it up or just see how it goes... any thought are greatly appreciated.
Damn! That's all I can say. I even met my booty call's friends. Then again, we agreed to be booty calls so maybe that's why. I think you are one of those booty calls that they don't admit. And how in the world can you go 4 years without questioning this? I would have been saying something by maybe month 2 at the latest. Odd.