Maybe he doesn't tell you what he likes and loves about the experience that you all just had because he's a) still relishing in it; or 2) doing all he can to stay awake and listen to you rehash the last encounter.
Straight up the reason your boyfriend doesn't tell you what he likes or disliked after sex is because he's not you and he doesn't take every opportunity to analyze, dissect, and evaluate for better results the next time. Frankly, if my girl wanted to discuss every sexual encounter, I'm sure they'd come fewer and further in between. Sometimes you want to just do the do and then lay there quiet and still and sleep next to somebody you actually love. Everything doesn't need a discussion.
No judgement here, I mean I understand it all excites you, but you can't be upset that he's not excited in the same way you are. Now, you can ask him or let him know, at some point, you want to talk about it so that you all can maximize the experience. But I can imagine being annoyed if right after we finish I couldn't just enjoy the moment but had to pull out the flash cards and prep for the next experience.
Anyway, I agree that your man should be willing to talk about whats going on in the sack, but cut him some slack. Men aren't always the most talkative when it comes to this stuff. We're more show and prove. Women like talking about this stuff. Even amongst our boys we rarely talk about sex with our women. We mostly talk about pr0n stars.
It was written.
Sheila, I'm so glad you posed this question. I'm afraid I don't have much advice to give you beyond what PJ has said (his is good by the way), since I'm faced with a similar problem.
My hubby is the "King of Silence" when we make love. It drives me crazy! It's not that I grill him after the fact; I go in asking what he desires. We've been married for quite some time and I am always looking for new and exciting ways to keep the spice rack in the bedroom, but I feel I'm the only one with an imagination. This is how our conversation will go:
Me: What can I do to satisfy you today?
Him: Just keep doing what you're doing.
Me: Do you prefer this or that?
Him: Either is fine with me, they both feel good.
Me: So what fantasy of yours can we fulfill tonight?
Him: You have already filled them all.
Ugh! It's like driving through Tokyo without a map. I'm a realist so I know 1) I've filled ALL his fantasies? That's a bunch of bs, and 2) I know I'm not perfect in bed. That's why I ask ~ I want to be better everytime. He is always attentive when I say "a little to the left", etc, but I get jack-nothin'.
All I want to do is rock his world and without any feedback or direction, I don't know where I stand. Any advice on how to get him to speak up? Or at least some understanding as to why he is this way?
Maybe he's afraid of criticizing you? Let him know that he can say anything about you and you won't mind. If he still stays quiet, I would just take him at his word. If he doesn't speak up, then he's perfectly happy with the sex you're having now. Why ruin a good thing?
It might be better to bring this up at a different time, rather than before or after pounding the pillows. Maybe at dinner, or right before you get up for the day. Something. Maybe he has performance anxiety, or maybe he just doesn't like having his touchdowns replayed with freeze frame. Who knows.
Another thing to try is to tie him up (with something soft!) and do a little experimentation. "Do you like this?" or "How about that?" But don't give it to him right away. Tease him a little. You'll get to learn about all his happy spots and be in control at the same time.
Sheila, I owe you a HUGE apology! A good friend of mine read my original comment here and called me on the carpet asking me why I hijacked your post. I honestly had to ask her what she meant by that and when she explained it to me, I was completely mortified. It was not my intention at all to trump your situation with mine.
I am new to online socializing. I don’t twitter, nor do I have a facebook page. Believe me, this site gives me more than enough to process. I was truly thrilled that you posted your question since it was closely related to mine. I previously asked my question to the GS guys without receiving a response. Yes, I know they receive thousands of questions daily and can’t possibly answer them all, and no, I don’t have the expectation that they will always answer mine, but my frustration level with my own situation had reached critical mass and I needed to vent. Unfortunately, I did so here.
These aren’t excuses I am offering up, I am more than comfortable with owning up to my mistakes. Lord, knows I have made a few in my lifetime.
Sheila, I screwed up here and I am truly sorry. ~ ptk