Well there are probably two problems here:
1) You aren't that interesting. If you were more interesting, guys wouldn't just stare ONLY at your boobs or your butt (a feat that's pretty remarkable if they're staring at both at the same time). It says something when...
2) Your boobs and your butt are so much more exciting than you that they take all the attention.
You see, guys will stare at your assets because that's what guys do. We believe in assets and holdings. Namely, we'd like to be holding your assets. We're like Enron, we want it all.
(That analogy doesn't work at all here. Thank you. - MGMT)
We like boobs and butt and if yours is just so exquisite that it draws all attention away from you then it's your job to become more interesting. Have something to say. Because no matter what you try to convine me of, I refuse to believe that NO matter what you say guys only ever look down. At some point, we'd like to know what your face looks like so we can figure out if your face and body match. If you have good face, great body, and are saying something of note we just might propose to you.
But that's not happening for you is it? So, let's work on it, mmkay, pumpkin?
By the way, I'm assuming that you don't wear your clothes specifically to accentuate your chest puppies and booty bulges. If you are then shame on you for even asking. Shame shame shame.
You could always just have convos with guys sitting down too. That usually stops all the staring - or at least half of it.
It was written.
Its never a woman's job to make a guy respect her by looking her in the face while in conversation. A man is being rude by looking at her boobs/ass if she's speaking to him. Period. Actually, unless I'm with someone I find a guy staring at my boobs/ass to be rude and trashy.
What a crude answer. It assumes that men are neanderthals with no ability to pay attention to others. I would expect "be more interesting" to be the answer to how to get the attention of a baby or toddler (and shiny objects and squeaky toys help), not a full grown man with cognitive abilities and knowledge of social norms.
I somewhat agree with the first portion of this answer. However, you cant change other people, you can only change yourself. Panama is just giving her some advise that will allow her to take some control of the situation, which is all anyone can do. As women we know the way we dress and behave will incur some sort of reaction, it is OUR choice to decide how we present ourselves, knowing full well the consequences to come. It just depends on where one's priorities lie. If this questioner truly wants to know what she can do to help the situation why wouldnt this be good advise, albeit a bit harsh? Shouldnt we all want to better ourselves and learn and grow instead of trying to change others when we have no control over it?
I totally agree its our choice to present ourselves, but for some of us our boobs and ass are just proportionately larger than the rest of our bodies (ahem) and no amount of coverage can block gawking from men. You shouldn't have to wear a burka to get respect!
I do agree with the advice that she should try to bring something more interesting to the conversation. I just found the thought that its her fault she's receiving rude stares to be problematic.
Guys look at your ass while you're talking to them?
Your boobs I can understand (although it is annoying), they only have to look slightly down. But your ass? I don't think you're hanging around with the right kindof guys.
men are gross...this site makes me hate men more and more each day...
i know right. men are icky.
For people b*tching about the answer; what the hell is he supposed to say? I'm asking seriously, how would you guys answer this?
My take- he's right. Some guys will only stare at your chest, most won't though. It's up to you to place yourself with people who respect you for more than your body.
thank you Betty. you were always my favorite person on The Flinstones.
Seriously people, relax. It's a good answer! I'm a straight woman and sometimes I even catch myself mid-conversation staring at a great pair of breasts without realize I'm doing it. Or maybe the question asker is just a butterface.
now see i didn't want to say she might be a butterface. but its always a possibility.
Sometimes it's hard to be more "interesting" when your boobs enter the room before you do. (haha) That said, I think PJ is right. Boobs and butt just enter a guy into the door (I don't mean that in a dirty way), and then good conversation enters the scene. Then, if everything goes right, the guy is interested in your body and your mind. Well, that's the idyll, anyway.
I agree....what a cry baby bimbo. Put on a turtleneck and get a personality, not necessarily in that order.
I'm guessing this girl is young teenager (if not than her maturity is that of teenager which could also be part of the problem). Why worry about the repetitive boob/ass staring?? I take it as a complement when someone takes a quick glance at my assets. Not sure why so much hatred ripped out of this one answer but it sounds like the haters here have other issues to be sorting out other than the original question of gawking. How about exploring conversation a bit more to find something that captures the guy's attention rather than constantly whining about it and expecting someone else to heal your boy blues? Just saying.
I actually think the answer is hilarious! If a guy is staring at my boobs or butt for a long period of time... I'll call him out on it and then walk away... Boys will be boys! If a guy can't take his eyes away from the goods to talk to me then he's not really worth talking to. Women seem to forget that there are plenty of men who will be interested in your assets as well as you.
LOL Great answer Panama. My advice is to give him the hottest look you can and smirk just a little. Then sensually touch yourself and arch your buttocks. And then give him a sad puppy look because he KNOWS he cant have your goodies. THEN STRUTT AWAY.
GIrl, guys can look but they cant touch. To all my girls, throw a dog a bone. Sometimes, the worst way to get them off your back is to TEMPT them, and walk away (if not run lol). What hurts more is a boner they cant immediately break! To all the single ladies, be beyonce and strutt away with your ass high!
okay I about wet myself when I read this one:
So, let's work on it, mmkay, pumpkin?
I must say that I too have been the recipient of an overzealous gazer but that is almost always when I am wearing something to show off my figure...so I expect to get more than a cursory glance. I rarely wear anything that allows my assets to be on display so I dont feel bad just feel appreciated by the male sex. But that was the goal, right?
Now, it has been my experience that it is very situational as well....not common for a man to stare in a work or professional environment but when it is a social setting it seems far more so.
So...perhaps think on that too...
I would suggest that this girl start talking to more mature men. Young men have a hard time not starring - remember the Seinfeld episode where Jerry says looking at a girl's boobs is like looking directly at the sun? Older men understand that a quick, furtive glance is one thing, but a prolonged stare makes everyone uncomfortable!
And yeah, if she's wearing revealing clothing, knock it off.
Panama, respectfully, please stop with this "it is written" schtik. Please?! This isn't the Bible!
"Panama, respectfully, please stop with this "it is written" schtik. Please?! This isn't the Bible!"
Bev, it's not that i can't stop, it's that i won't stop.
never happened to me. :( I scare men with philosophy and science. I also dress conservative. I have seen that happen to my friends though. And it is their fault for asking the men to stop. If you don't ask them to stop don't complain.
It does all depend on the time and place. If I have the boobelage displayed in a particularly advantageous way, well then I expect to have a certain amount of conversation directed toward it. Hey, it's not all bad. I rarely queue for drinks at the bar...
I used to work at a music shop and a hoodie was the uniform. It wrecked my head when the male customers would ask my chest if we had the latest Coldplay cd. And obviously I couldn't be rude to customers. I was rude about them later, instead. I also got a lot of winks. What's THAT about?
Take the staring as a compliment and when it gets annoying, walk away,no need to be rude. Men are visual creatures. If you give em somethin worth lookin at, don't be surprised when they look :)
It does all depend on the time and the place and your.... style of dress. If I have the boobelage displayed in a particularly advantageous way, then I expect a certain amount of conversation to be directed toward it. It's not all bad though, I rarely have to queue at a bar for drinks for longer than 1 minute, even when it's jammers.
I used to work in a music shop, where our uniform was a hoodie. it used to wreck my head when the fellas used to ask my chest for the new U2 cd. Obviously I couldn't be rude to customers, I used to have a lil laugh and rage to myself and be rude about them later instead. I also used to get a lot of winks. I have no idea what that's about!
Take the staring as a compliment and when it gets annoying, walk away. No need to be rude. Men are visual creatures and if you give em somethin worth lookin at, they're gonna look :)
Maybe your cleavage is stealing all the attention? =) try to see if the same guys would still look at your breasts if you button up or something? I mean, I don't think you can be THAT uninteresting. ^_^
I 12 and a boy names James look at my butt all the time and I know it and he 13 but now he 14 and he have a friend names devin and devin 14 to and never look at my butt I don't get it