Uh...You know, I thought really hard about this one, and I can't think of any legitimate reason other than maybe he doesn't want to be your boyfriend. Perhaps he just got out of a relationship and wants to take this one slow. But eight weeks? There's taking it slow, and then there's not kissing your new girlfriend for nearly two months. Unless he has severely injured his lips in a cheese fondue-related accident and is under doctor's orders to let them rest, I have to think that something is up here.
You said you've known him for a year. Presumably, he's wanted to kiss you in that time. So what's the hold up? Let's back up a minute. What do you know about his relationship history? Has he never been kissed before? (Though if that was the case, I would imagine it would have come up during your year of friendship.) Does he have intimacy issues? Does it take him a while to get close to someone? These are all things to take into account if the relationship is going to move forward. And as red flags go, the whole not kissing you yet thing is kind of a big one.
There's something to be said about prolonging the mystery of that first kiss. And maybe he's nervous about his skills and wants your first kiss to be special. But eight weeks? And he's 29? I think the mystery has probably died, briefly come back to life, then died again by this point.
In a way, I find your chaste dating adorably quaint. Do you hold hands at the soda shoppe? Does he discreetly put his hand on your knee at the drive-in? Is any petting, heavy or otherwise, occurring?
Seriously, this is something you need to address immediately. Ask him straight up what is going on. You have every right to be curious, frustrated and downright bewildered.
When I was a kid, I sent away for a mail-order G.I. Joe figure. That was an agonizing six to eight weeks of running home from school and checking the mailbox or skipping out on seeing Benji the Hunted with my friends so I could wait inside for the postman on a Saturday. The point is, your boyfriend should move faster than the postal service.
You said you've known him for a year. Presumably, he's wanted to kiss you in that time. So what's the hold up? Let's back up a minute. What do you know about his relationship history? Has he never been kissed before? (Though if that was the case, I would imagine it would have come up during your year of friendship.) Does he have intimacy issues? Does it take him a while to get close to someone? These are all things to take into account if the relationship is going to move forward. And as red flags go, the whole not kissing you yet thing is kind of a big one.
There's something to be said about prolonging the mystery of that first kiss. And maybe he's nervous about his skills and wants your first kiss to be special. But eight weeks? And he's 29? I think the mystery has probably died, briefly come back to life, then died again by this point.
In a way, I find your chaste dating adorably quaint. Do you hold hands at the soda shoppe? Does he discreetly put his hand on your knee at the drive-in? Is any petting, heavy or otherwise, occurring?
Seriously, this is something you need to address immediately. Ask him straight up what is going on. You have every right to be curious, frustrated and downright bewildered.
When I was a kid, I sent away for a mail-order G.I. Joe figure. That was an agonizing six to eight weeks of running home from school and checking the mailbox or skipping out on seeing Benji the Hunted with my friends so I could wait inside for the postman on a Saturday. The point is, your boyfriend should move faster than the postal service.
Nick addressed a lot of possibles but he forgot one that COULD be equally important. What is YOUR relationship history? Did YOU just come out of a breakup? Is it possible your guy is taking things slow so as to not make YOU feel he is rushing this new relationship? Granted 8 weeks is a little long, but maybe he just needs to know you are ready to progress to the next step. Good luck ;o)
That's a good point. Though I think 8 weeks is longer than most guys could wait in this situation. Even the really, really considerate ones.
Maybe he's afraid of Herpes. Maybe he's uber religious.
Question: How do you even consider him your BOYFRIEND if you haven't even kissed?? He's not your boyfriend if you haven't kissed! The physical things like kissing are what seperates those outings from friendship. Are you sure he doesnt think you're just friends??? Are you making up this "relationship" in your mind?
Wow! That would be humiliating. I hope that's not the case for our questioner!
Embarrassing yes, but you'd be amazed at how many girls consider themselves to be in a "relationship" when they really aren't. Not that uncommon!
Actually I knew of one case where I had two friends who were together in high school. He didnt kiss her the first YEAR they were together. Well, he came out the first year after high school. We now go man-spotting together! THe girls either not really with him, or he's gay.
In high school, I was in a "relationship" (yes, it was official) for nearly nine months...and we never kissed. He wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole. We were acting exactly the same that we had as friends, except more awkwardly.
The breakup was mutual. He ended up coming out of the closet shortly afterwards.
I feel like it's ether that, or:
1) He's very inexperienced, maybe to the point of having never been kissed before, and is scared out of his mind.
2) He's very religious and you failed to mention that. I have met guys (and gals) who sincerely believe that one's first kiss is best saved for the altar.
I think those two reasons seem valid. I just think both would have come up in the year that they've been friends. And that he would at least bring up the religious thing. Why would he hide that?
It's all pretty suspicious! We need an update.
I should also mention that my gut instinct says that it's not that he "just doesn't like you". I've been in two relationships with guys who didn't really like me all that much: one felt sorry for me and another was just really bored and lonely and on the rebound. Even THEY kissed me. So...I think something particularly weird is going on here.
My questions is why have you waited 8 weeks to kiss him? If I wanted to kiss a guy I was in a relationship with I would just do it. There's no rule against it or anything.
COME ON PEOPLE!! HAVE WE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE OBVIOUSE ONLY REASON HE HASNT KISSED HER!!?? I sware I come here day after day to drink from this abundant fountain of knowledge(did i spell that right?whatever.) Since I'm the only one who seemed have shown up for class today Im gonna just say it......He's obviously her long lost father whos been searching for her for 29years & her adoptive parents swore him to secrecy as the only trade to be apart of her life.NOW DO YA SEE WHY HE HASNT KISSED HER???(in a deep star war-ish tone)HE's HER FATHER!!! & I know what you guys are thinkn,maybe they live in one of those towns where that kinda stuff is ok,in which case he's just being a big fat p*ssy & should kiss her already!!!For god sake she'd your daughter dude,the leaste you could do is slob her down after years of not paying child support!My goodness some people are just so selfish......meanwhile Im off to my AA meeting & therapy after that,TOODLES!!!
Um.. how did you decide that you were compatible enough to be committed if you havent even kissed him ??? I think thats a bad sign if this early on, he is either too shy to kiss you or lack experience or the desire to kiss you. And if this is the tone of the relationship thus far, are you really going to be happy and satsified months, years down the line ?
Come on, even Edward kissed Bella sooner than that. And he's a vampire.
my fiance and i didn't kiss on the lips untill 16 months into our relationship... and holy crap, it was the best kiss EVER.
Bad breath?
Sorry, my first reaction was 'gay'. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Or maybe is she underage? I kinda like the imaginary relationship theory, too.
Being the guy in a similar (though less extreme) situation, I can empathize. Maybe it just takes him longer to get close to someone or the circumstances haven't been right yet. 1. Maybe you've always been in too public of an area 2. Maybe he wants to he's away from you, but then he's just not feelin' it when he's near you because of awkwardness/lack of comfort. 3. He could just be reacting to YOUR red flags, signals, and hang-ups. I wanted to kiss this girl, but early in the date I was discouraged by seeing faint signs of religious intolerance.
hahha I agree
I agree