Guyspeak Newsletter Signup

Reformed Player

 
Next Answer »
userpic
userpic

Why is my newish guy ok with sex once or twice a week? And how can I tell him I need more?

He's a gentleman? Or possibly just busy?

He could just not being trying to come off like a rabid hump machine: not unreasonably, guys who pay attention get the message that men who look exclusively for sex tank out in dating in the long run. Or it could be he's got other things to do during the week and just doesn't have time for dates.

Either way, the solution is simple: ask him. I doubt once you make it clear you want more sex he won't make whatever time is needed available.

Talk 4
Love it? Hate it? 2
Got A Question? Ask Your Own. »

4 Comments

user-pic

The reason is, people have differing libido levels. Not all men want, need, or even can do sex every day, 365 days a year, in spite what the media portrays about us.

You can tell him by appealling to his ego, we like that. Assuming scheduling and energy levels permit, he'll probably have no problems acceding to your needs.

Also the media portrays the male sex drive in a negative light, so he might be restraining himself, out of concern you don't want more. Again, the way to fix that is to tell him you do.

user-pic

I dated a guy (45 yrs. old. I'm 44) who was happy with sex once every 10 days. I was climbing the walls. I figured he was sleeping with someone else... in the end, I was correct. Go figure.

user-pic

I dated a guy who was happy with sex once or twice a month. I told him I really wanted at least twice a week. Six months later he broke up with me saying he couldn't take the pressure and had been having sex with me just to keep me happy and didn't crave it at all any more. So careful, if this is his libido level, don't think it's going to change. If you're incompatible acknowledge that sooner than later and save both of you the pain and frustration of forcing things.

user-pic

You should try talking to him about it and see what's up. My bf has a crazy high libido and I (due to being gang raped and other things) have little interest in sex. It drives him crazy cause sometimes I could be into it big time for awhile (like every other day for a month or so) or giving it to him once maybe a month or something. It frustrates him, but instead of wanting to dump me, he's trying to help me work past the things that make me not want it and find new, fun ways to keep me going and not automatically ignore any sexual vibe or repress any desire I get (like i do) And we've been together about 3 years.

Now since your guy is 'newish', now is definitely a good time to ask such things and he can't act weird cause I firmly believe that if one is willing to sleep with a partner, they have no right acting weird being asked about sexual things. If he's holding back to see how you react to it (ie see if you like more sex or if that's a good amount to not tire you out or drive you off) then he shouldn't have a problem telling you. If that's what he's comfy with, explain your views on it and talk. Relationships are all about compromise and meeting in the middle. But it is good to find things like this out early than late, really.

Leave a comment

(You may use HTML tags for style)

Get GuySpeak in your inbox.

Choose the newsletters you'd like to receive:

Trending Topics

  1. 96 entries are tagged with
  2. 59 entries are tagged with
  3. 70 entries are tagged with
  4. 61 entries are tagged with
  5. 58 entries are tagged with
  6. 215 entries are tagged with
  7. 91 entries are tagged with
  8. 865 entries are tagged with
  9. 60 entries are tagged with
  10. 64 entries are tagged with
  11. 57 entries are tagged with
  12. 93 entries are tagged with
  13. 89 entries are tagged with
  14. 61 entries are tagged with
  15. 53 entries are tagged with
  16. 151 entries are tagged with
  17. 183 entries are tagged with
  18. 63 entries are tagged with
  19. 55 entries are tagged with
  20. 79 entries are tagged with
  21. 60 entries are tagged with
  22. 239 entries are tagged with
  23. 501 entries are tagged with
  24. 95 entries are tagged with
  25. 58 entries are tagged with