Funny you should ask, as I just bought tickets for myself and my girlfriend. (Don’t tell her! It’s a surprise.) Guys, just take your girlfriend/wife/booty call to the new Twilight movie. Just suck it up, be a man and do it. Yes, it’s about a vampire who sparkles in sunlight instead of melting into vampire goo like every other vampire in the history of vampires. And yes, a good portion of the first movie consists of the vampires playing old-timey baseball in the rain for absolutely no reason. But sometimes, you just have to do it. You sat through the Sex and the City movie (Why was it so long? What was the point of Jennifer Hudson’s character?), and you’re going to have to sit through this one. Do you think she wanted to see Transformers 2? No, but she sat through it for you, and you will both never get that two and half hours back.
But, really, taking you to a silly vampire movie is the least he should do. Yes, seeing New Moon is probably as appealing to him as getting a root canal while rabid monkeys bite his face. But seeing the occasional “chick flick” is part of what comes with being in a relationship or marriage, like taking out the trash or killing scary bugs. He should be man enough to sit through New Moon for you. And, hey, there’s a giant werewolf in this one. (Why are vampires and werewolves always enemies? You would think they’d get more done by teaming up. The werewolves could hunt their human prey and bring back fresh kills for the vampires to gorge on. Just think how badass a vampire with a werewolf pet would be.)
To be fair, as a fan of good “bad” movies, there are moments in Twilight that I legitimately enjoyed. Like when one of the vampires smashes a salad bowl with her vampire strength because she’s SO MAD that Bella has already eaten dinner. I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard during a movie. And the first half, before the baseball scene, was decent enough I guess. But, I’m sorry, vampires should never, ever, sparkle.