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Why won't guys ask me out? I'm pretty, smart, funny, laugh at jokes, and fun to be around but guys always seem to "just be friends." I don't understand! Please help.

You forgot "modest."

Just kidding. Confidence is a good thing.

I wish I could say for sure why no one's asking you out, but since I don't know you or your situation, I can't. I also don't know your age, and that has a lot to do with it.

What I do know is that most people -- both male and female -- have felt the way you feel at some point in their lives. We've all wondered why no one seems to notice us or want us. Even here on Guyspeak, I bet I've gotten more than 100 questions along the same lines as yours: "Why can't I find a guy?" "Why won't he ask me out?" "How do I get a guy to notice me?" etc.

But I think the problem is an imaginary one. People do notice us. They do want us. But they don't show it for any number of reasons: shyness, lack of confidence, fear of rejection, an assumption that we're already taken, they're already taken, whatever. I like to think that there is someone(s) for everyone, and it's just a matter of time before we find them or they find us. We all have dry spells, some longer than others. All you can do is be patient and not fret too much about it. People often seem to find a mate when they aren't looking so hard.

While you're waiting, don't underestimate the value of having guy friends. Many romances begin as friendships, so if a guy wants to be buds, view it as an opportunity, not a romantic failure. If you're everything you say you are, odds are that at least one of your guy friends will fall in love with you.

Oh, and you could also ask a guy out. Have you considered that? They might say no, but it doesn't hurt to try.

Good luck.

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8 Comments

Daisy

Excellent answer, Cary! Very well said. To Tasha, I would just say, go ahead and live your life. Don't sit around waiting for a phone call. Enjoy yourself. With or without a guy by your side, you can still do the things you like to do and you can still be happy.

nickie

hehe.. "I need some lovin" tag.. Is that you or her?

bgirl

Maybe you seem too available?

user-pic

lol, not really specific to your response, but I can't help laughing that there is a "Find your lesbian match!" ad staring back at me from the sidebar of GuySpeak. hahaha! Are you guys trying to tell us something?

user-pic

Could just be they don't know how to ask, or are scared to ask you. I have a lot of guy friends and I know at least 2 of them like me, but I've always turned down dates, so they think that I'd turn them down.
Your friends could feel the same way.

boop

aw, lady, i've been in your shoes. just recently started a relationship with a great guy, who apparently liked me for months before he asked me out. before him, though, i would have defined myself as a catch but just never got the timing right with guys. DEFINITELY agree on starting out as friends.. makes the relationship so much better. and in my experience, try to come across as at least a little aloof. if you're too interested, it's a turnoff for guys - most like the pursuit (again, that's how it's been for me).

live your life - find things you're interested in and the right guy will find you there.

Stevie

I'm kind of the same, Tasha =/

Watched pot never boils though, so what can you do?

DJTEXAS

Hey, a simple touch on his shoulder, flick your hair, or give him a glance from the side of your eyes all moves include a small smile is all it takes. If there is an opportunity there, he's not taken, he's not gay, he's not blind or considering the priesthood, I may have covered that in an earlier he's not, any way a simple show of flirting attention will get the point across to most makes 16 and above.
The problem with great looking girls has been the same thru time. Not approachable to mere human men. Or, too lazy too into their own looks to make any effort. Those are the type that expect great looking men to throw themselves at these girls feet. Problem is that the normal cute girls realize they have to be more competitive and practice on their flirting. Go get some practice in girl.

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