Good question, glad you asked. Here are a list of dos and don'ts for the men's bathroom.
Do use the bathroom. There is nothing more wrong with actually going into the men's bathroom to just look in the mirror. Even if you don't have to go, fake it. That is a manspace, treat is as such.
Don't peep over the urinal dividers. Why are you checking out your peemate's pee-pee. That is gay and has taken politicians down. Similarly, no wide-stances. I'm looking at you Larry Craig.
Do not gossip. The men's bathroom does not double as a lounge space like the women's restroom does. It is a bathroom. No man should ever have to go into a bathroom to dish about hot chick? Do you know why? Because he should be talking to the hot chick, not his homeboy in the bathroom with him who should be using the urinal.
Do wash your hands. Because if you don't...ewwwwl.
Do not peep under a stall to see if your friend is the guy wearing the New Balance 992s. Mostly because it's just creepy and convo while taking a deuce is just not welcome.
Do leave in a timely manner. Even if you're dropping the deuce, you should not be in there for an hour. Keep it moving, pimpin.
Overall, don't turn it into the women's bathroom.
It was written.
Well? While we're on the subject... my husband (and I confirmed this with another guy) told me that sometimes, maybe half the time, he sees guys spit in the urinal before using it.
WTF IS THAT??
I do that spitting thing, but never really gave it much thought. I guess it's just because it's an acceptable place to spit...even if you miss, it's not like you're gonna be hitting anything that doesn't already need cleaned. Maybe it's a vestigial instinct to check for dangerous critters before peeing?
I'm pretty sure you can google urinal etiquette for some outrageously thorough rundowns of the rules, but honestly? I'm pretty sure they're all variations of this one simple rule:
Never disturb a man with a dick in his hand.
Wouldn't be the first time i've heard a guy say that. haha
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