Guyspeak Newsletter Signup

Girls' BFF

 
Next Answer »
userpic
userpic

Would it be weird to ask my boyfriend (of 7 months) what his ex girlfriend's (of 2 years - broke up about four months before we met) name is so I can FB stalk her and see who she is? Totally just out of curiosity but want to know whether that's a weird thing to do? Thank you :)

Not only is a weird request, it would make me completely second-guess your sanity.

For one, who actually asks their boyfriend if they can STALK the boyfriend's ex? Second, why spend any time stalking his ex? Why do you care? Why does it matter? If there's some sort of trust issue, then perhaps you need to leave the boyfriend alone. Stalking his ex is not the answer.

Why not just ask him about her and leave it at that.

Stalking is not an okay pasttime, despite what Twitter, FB, and all social media will have you think. It reeks of suspicious and morbid curiosity. Leave it alone. Just be happy you're with him now.

(And since that advice will go completely unheeded...just ask her what her name is. Don't tell him you WANT to stalk her. That just sounds creepy and I might have to break up with you.)

Talk 8
Love it? Hate it? 3
Got A Question? Ask Your Own. »

8 Comments

user-pic

Why do you feel the need to about an ex lol? Isn't it enough he is with you? If you had such concerns about him you feel compelled to stalk his ex(es), doesn't that kinda reflect poor judgement in date selection on your part?

Nice&Sweet

On OP's behalf (it wasnt me btw) I'd like to say that most girls like to do that. We looove to find out info about the ex, who she is, what she looks like, why they broke up, what have you. Why? I don't know. We all have different reasons. I always like to know the reason of the break up so that I can avoid making the same mistakes she made and prevent myself from being another ex-girlfriend on his list. I do it for...personal growth, if you will. Lol

However, I do not recommend this. It's not good or fair for both parties, your bf and you. Finding out about his ex is going to raise up a lot of questions that at the end of the day are not worth the time. He's with you, enjoy the ride.
What if you find out she's prettier than you? Or what if she lives near your bf? Or even worse, what if she still has pics of your bf & her?
Is that good for your relationship??? No, it's not. So leave it alone.
She's part of the past and she should stay there.

user-pic

Dont go down the path of paranoia. Knowing her name would make you obsessive and you might stalk her constantly and even grow to hate your man. Save yourself now before you fall into the abyss of jealousy and self-torment.

Sources: Me.

Anna

deff is its ok to know why they broke up but dont message her on fb cuz u will start a drama that u dont want in ur life trust me love its not worth it ..

user-pic

Right, because people's exes are completely objective sources. *roll eyes*

user-pic

Just be honest, you're going to message them lol.

Abi Kinsella P

Wow, at some point, you're going to have to choose whether you want to trust him and your own judgment in regard to dating him. If he's done nothing to raise red flags -- meaning he's not still carrying a torch for his ex and isn't bringing her up in conversation all the time, then let sleeping dogs lie, and let his relationship with you continue to move forward. Leave his past where it belongs -- in the past. You're going to have to trust that he chose to move forward with you for a reason -- maybe you're a better fit, maybe you inspire the sort of emotion that others in his past haven't, but whatever his reasons may be -- his ex is NO LONGER part of the picture. So instead of asking him to revisit the past by asking for his exes information and stalking her out of some sense of morbid curiosity, why not nudge your relationship forward and make the present as fun and as happy a time as you two can possibly spend together?

chrissie1101

it's not only bad for both parties, it reeks of insecurity. it's not just about trust, it's about not being confident enough in yourself to fully accept that he's with you now, and not her. and it also has a lot to do with the human social condition of comparing ourselves to others. girls normalize this behavior to themselves by saying to themselves, if i can just check her out, i will know for myself that i am prettier than her and not as psycho as she is, when, you become less pretty and more psycho through the very act alone.

Leave a comment

(You may use HTML tags for style)

Get GuySpeak in your inbox.

Choose the newsletters you'd like to receive:

Get GuySpeak in your inbox.

Choose the newsletters you'd like to receive:

Trending Topics

  1. 123 entries are tagged with
  2. 82 entries are tagged with
  3. 109 entries are tagged with
  4. 78 entries are tagged with
  5. 109 entries are tagged with
  6. 314 entries are tagged with
  7. 118 entries are tagged with
  8. 1131 entries are tagged with
  9. 83 entries are tagged with
  10. 93 entries are tagged with
  11. 79 entries are tagged with
  12. 120 entries are tagged with
  13. 124 entries are tagged with
  14. 91 entries are tagged with
  15. 97 entries are tagged with
  16. 93 entries are tagged with
  17. 198 entries are tagged with
  18. 237 entries are tagged with
  19. 79 entries are tagged with
  20. 79 entries are tagged with
  21. 84 entries are tagged with
  22. 273 entries are tagged with
  23. 765 entries are tagged with
  24. 95 entries are tagged with
  25. 87 entries are tagged with