When I read your question, my first impulse was to stand up like an asshole at a horror movie and scream "DON'T GO IN THERE, YOU IDIOT! HE'S RIGHT IN THERE!
I'd say ninety-nine percent of the time, if someone's coming off of a messy breakup, the most you're going to get out of a relationship with them is some comfort sex, and that'll usually be followed by weeping jags, clingy midnight phone calls and possibly even crappy poetry.
If you just wanna tap that weepy ass, or get off on playing therapist, feel free. But know you're taking advantage of someone at their lowest point. If you think you could have a real relationship with this guy, give him some space, let him blast some Linkin Park in his room for a while, and check in again when he's no longer questioning all that life entails.
That time will allow him to get some perspective on the previous relationship, process all that pain into lessons he will hopefully apply to YOUR relationship, and, most importantly, give you time to figure out if that breakup is really going to stick. Nothing sucks more than nursing a wounded boyfriend back to health only to see him fly on back to his usual nest.
And yes, we do that. A lot. So keep your distance, be a friend, and wait for the right time to strike. It should be just when he's fully on the mend, but not yet put together enough to say anything but "yes" to the chance of dating you.
Happy hunting!
nice tag "Trapping boyfriends" lol
I liked a guy for two years who waited four years to get back with his ex-girlfriend after a bogus promise she had made with him to be a couple again after they finished college. After the fourth year and graduation, she told him that she couldn't go back out with him, and his heart was destroyed. I tried keeping my distance while letting him do the blasting Linkin Park alone in his room thing on the advice from my best friend. She knew how much I liked him, and she basically knew all the good things about him since I would tell her about him when I asked for advice. She went online and got his contact information behind my back and started dating him. They got married this past spring, and now I'm the one nursing a broken heart. If you like someone that has just come out of a long relationship, you should give it a try, waiting around might just screw you over because someone else might swoop in and take that person.
Yes, that is always a risk...IF YOUR BEST FRIEND IS MACHIAVELLI. Man, that is some of the coldest shit I've heard in a long time. But yes, thank you for making us aware...if your best friend is evil incarnate, you might want to try and beat her to the punch.
"Nothing sucks more than nursing a wounded boyfriend back to health only to see him fly on back to his usual nest."
Best. Advice. Ever. Listen to Michael!
Rebound sex is awesome. But then I'm a maneater.
Right. As I mentioned, you can DEFINITELY get rebound sex off most guys in this situation. Just don't go into it thinking that'll instantly blossom into a functioning relationship. If your aim is to hit it and quit it, then your prey is at a perfect time to strike.
That is definitely what happens most of the time. I remember my friend telling me about a year ago that she had found the BEST guy ever! He was just done with his long term now ex girlfriend, and he "totally hated that bitch- she was so mean to him!". I normally raise a flag against any guy who thinks that it is always totally the girl's fault for a break up, but she wouldn't really listen to me, and I never met the guy so who was I to judge? I remember her specifically telling me that he told her that she would never be a "one night stand" and he was off his ex for good. Well, after weeks of listening to what a dick his ex was, and how horrible his family was and how life totally craps on this guy all the time, they finally had sex- which turned into a one night stand because he never called and ignored her texts. Then she found out she was pregnant. After she broke the big pregnancy news, still assuming that his first impulse was to ask her to move in (at least for the baby's sake, right?), he proposed to his ex girlfriend instead.
Obviously this was a weird thing that doesn't mean it happens to everyone, but daaaamn, talk about some luck.
It really depends on the individual situation. I got out of a 12 year relationship but after 4 months I met the man of my dreams and I had worked so hard on myself before that I was ready for a healthy, happy relationship. I think if a person recognizes their issues and are self aware, then anything is possible. But that is given the person is Over and has grieved the Ex.
I agree
What a lovely day for a 2982907! SCK was here