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Valentine's Day: Don't Be Hatin'

I know what you're thinking: the Wise-Ass is gonna go on a rant about how much Valentine's Day sucks, right? Wrong. I'm not. So there. Just when you think you know me, you don't. Unknowable, I am. Elusive. Tricky. A...

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A Superbowl Guide For The Football-Ignorant (By The Football-Ignorant)

As you may be aware, a very important weekend is just around the corner. That's right, it's the weekend my gas mower finally comes back from the shop! Boy, I'm going to be mowing up a STORM. Grass better WATCH...

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7 Romantic Lost Moments

I have a confession to make: I'm a huge Lost nerd. So with the sixth (and final) season underway, I've been nerding out with my pals over all the various theories, clues, reveals and other goodies. But in addition to...

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I Can't Go For That, No No No: Dealbreakers, Vol. 1

We all have them. Some of us have more than others. Some of us are too sexxy for our shirts. Some of us are even so sexxy it hurts. What does that have to do with the price of panty hose...

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It's A Gross Word, But We're Going To Change That

The less than scientific term "queef" seems specifically designed to make men snicker and women spontaneously implode from embarrassment. Try to say "queef" without wincing. It's the misshapen spawn of the words "quack" and "beef."  This vulgarity refers to the sound air...

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Quick Answers To Your Quick Questions, Vol. 2

I wish I could answer all of your questions, but it's impossible. This is my compromise. Hopefully you'll find it helpful. There's a first for everything.Questions taken as is, typos and all. If you missed the first round of these,...

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The Least Awful Thing About Stupid, Smelly Girls (A Letter From Michael's Eight-Year-Old Self)

It's not cooties, I'll tell you that much. Cooties are probably the least least awful thing about girls, aside from that they are stupid. But since they're paying me to LIE write about something I admire about women, here goes:Boobs?...

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5 Things I've Learned From Women

This week has been all about sharing the things we love about women. While I also love how you support us when we're down, improve our fashion sense, and keep the shower smelling of fresh summer strawberries, there is one...

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I Love The Ladies!: The Panama Jackson Edition

In case you haven't noticed, I love to make lists. Well today is no different. Our bosses here at the wonder Guyspeak want to know what it is about women that we love. Well shucks, ma'am, that's easy. Especially since...

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One Thing I Love About Women (Hint: It Smells Like Fruit)

I'll tell you one thing I love about women, and it's their showers. Specifically, the fancy pants showering products they buy that, as a man, I would never think of buying, much less be seen purchasing. I'm a man, and...

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