Guyspeak Newsletter Signup

Unfiled

Next Entry »
userpic

15 Things No Guy Ever Wants To Hear In Bed

Guys can be vulnerable when we're naked, too, so please--choose your words carefully.

1. Let's get this over with, shall we?

2. It is in yet?

3. Shhh! My dad's asleep in the next room.

4. What's that smell?

5. You know you can shave those, right?

6. If you hear a car pull up in the driveway, get under the bed, fast.

7. Let us pray...

8. Would you be upset if I said I lied about being 18?

9. No, it's fine. Big ones hurt anyway.

10. Eww.

11. GIVE IT TO ME, DADDY! I'VE BEEN A NAUGHTY GIRL!

12. I'm hoping it's poison ivy. I'm waiting for the test results.

13. What did you eat for lunch?

14. Hang on, let me take this tampon out.

15. Have you ever done this before?


Talk 10
Love it? Hate it? 8
Got A Question? Ask Your Own. »

10 Comments

richgirlred

"What did you eat for lunch?" and "Let us pray" made me spew my latte. Hahaha!

Many of those women wouldn't want to hear either. Great list, Cary!

user-pic

Come on, the tampon thing may not be sunshine and rainbows, but it's gonna happen lol. Especially if you've been together long enough that period sex isn't faux pas. You don't always plan on getting sexy when you get a bit cuddly, so it happens.

user-pic

I agree with RGR that most women wouldn't want to hear these coming from their man, either. Especially "GIVE IT TO ME DADDY" ...and the tampon thing.

p.s. Do men really hear anything we say in bed? :)

Amy

Great list, Cary! I laughed out loud at, "No, it's fine. Big ones hurt anyway." HAHA!
I usually sign my letters and emails with "Give it to me daddy! I've been a naughty girl," so using that in bed would be weird.
Thanks for the laugh. :)

user-pic

Yeah, these are a perfect example of "if you don't have anything nice to say..." Funny, though!

user-pic

Some guys would be all for #11...all depends on your dynamics I guess.

I would add: 'I love that your _ _ _ _ is mouth-sized.' In my defense, when I said that I meant that I loved the way he feels in my mouth - perfectly sized. My own lesson in watching how I say things.

user-pic

how about another man's name?! hahaha

woodwoman

Great list! Once in high school at a keg party, we heard from the back of a car a girl say "no don't, I've got worms" and the next thing we knew this guy came flying through the window the get out of there. I still laugh at that. And when I see them at high school reunions, I always think of it.

Faye

That's so hilarious!!! LOL

user-pic

"Hoping it's poison ivy"--Yikes! Hahaha! Very funny list, Cary!

Leave a comment

(You may use HTML tags for style)

Get GuySpeak in your inbox.

Choose the newsletters you'd like to receive:

Trending Topics

  1. 123 entries are tagged with
  2. 82 entries are tagged with
  3. 110 entries are tagged with
  4. 78 entries are tagged with
  5. 110 entries are tagged with
  6. 314 entries are tagged with
  7. 118 entries are tagged with
  8. 1134 entries are tagged with
  9. 84 entries are tagged with
  10. 93 entries are tagged with
  11. 79 entries are tagged with
  12. 120 entries are tagged with
  13. 124 entries are tagged with
  14. 91 entries are tagged with
  15. 97 entries are tagged with
  16. 93 entries are tagged with
  17. 199 entries are tagged with
  18. 237 entries are tagged with
  19. 80 entries are tagged with
  20. 79 entries are tagged with
  21. 84 entries are tagged with
  22. 273 entries are tagged with
  23. 765 entries are tagged with
  24. 95 entries are tagged with
  25. 87 entries are tagged with