Welcome back to the irresistible, irascible and always iridescent GuySpeak Best of the Week. (Sorry, just had a run on "I" words in Words with Friends.) I'm your host this week, Chic Geek. Or, as I'm known in the nether dimension of the hellbeast, The Question Master!!
(Lightning crashes, a cat hisses, Deena from Jersey Shore cries! )
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaahaha!
Yes, Halloween is right around the corner, so your humble Question Master is here with a bounty of the best questions and answers we have to offer this week.
Question the first!
Cary, you've seen more naked women than I. I've only seen myself. I have fine body hair everywhere...breasts, stomach, back, butt etc. Does everyone? It makes me so insecure and nervous that I think it actually holds me back from dating, because I fear someone might actually see me naked then and be turned off.
Wise Ass Cary says: Aw! I hate to hear that something so inconsequential has held you back from dating--not that we don't all have our quirks and insecurities that can similarly cloud our judgment. Isn't it funny how we can get hung up on one small thing about our appearance and let it threaten our confidence? (READ MORE)
Question Master Says: What sage advice thou does offer, o Wisest of Asses! I met a talking ass once on a moonlit night. Twas a donkey, I mean! Removest thou mind from the gutter immediately, lest ye face The Question Master's wrath! Anyway, do not worry about your body hair. He probably doesn't even notice. If it really bothers you, there's always electrolysis.
Question the Second!
Ive just learn't my boyfriend is sexual seeing other men, im devestated, but can't approach him with what i've learnt because i read his emails. If i confront him he'll know i've been looking into his email. I also found an ad on a gay website he put on. I can't eat or sleep since finding out and its killing me. Help!!
Girls BFF says: Um...yes you absolutely can tell your boyfriend that you found this out. Even if it is by reading his emails.
And do you know why, honey boo boo? (READ MORE)
Question Master Says: Sexually seeing other men?? Gay website ad?? Please tell us why thou hasn't kicketh him to the curb for being a cheating lout?!
Question the third!
Hey, I am tired of attracting guys who only want a one night stand. I barely go out and I don't dress slutty, but somehow when I think a guy is going to want more he doesn't. Do my douchebag detector skills suck ? or are there any things I can do that will subtly indicate that I want more ?
Mystery Man says: Something isn't adding up for me. You're not trolling bars or only wearing a thong out of the house. It's got to be the Douchebag Detector. It's probably grossly miscalibrated since you haven't (I'm guessing) had a nice boyfriend yet. Because you haven't experienced what it feels like to talk to and then date a really nice guy, you don't have a basis of comparison. (READ MORE)
Question Master says: The Question Master wishes he had a "douchebag detector." Maybe then he wouldn't hire jerky mouse apprentices who make his brooms dance and flood his conjuring room.
Next up, Chic Geek offers up the 10 ways a guy can show he cares online.
10. He changes his relationship status from single to "it's complicated" or (hopefully) "in a relationship."
9. He sends you a good morning pick-me-up email made entirely of Honey Boo Boo Child gifs.(READ MORE)
Question Master says: The Question Master cannot abide by "Honey Boo Boo Child." Her voices pierces the Question Master's soul worse than the fiery soul pit of Sargoth.
Question the fourth!
What's your stance on "nice guys finish last"? the few that i've "hungout" with were passive-aggressive people who always tried to play the victim. what gives?
Reformed Player says: Well, then I guess they weren't nice guys, then. Genuinely nice, generous people generally do not finish last. (READ MORE)
Question Master says: The Question Master never finishes last, whether it be at a potion making contest or during sexual congress with the Question Mistress.
Blog post of the week: Funny Guy's "Get the Following Things Done" is less a blog post and more a call to arms. Question Master plans to at least do numbers 6-10 post haste!
Tis the end of our Best of! The Question Master bids you adieu! Have a great weekend!
Previous Best Ofs:
Babies and Rejection City
Jealousy and Married People
That Time that Batman Guest-Edited the Best of the Week
(Lightning crashes, a cat hisses, Deena from Jersey Shore cries! )
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaahaha!
Yes, Halloween is right around the corner, so your humble Question Master is here with a bounty of the best questions and answers we have to offer this week.
(Yes, The Question Master looks a bit like Gandalf from The Lord of the Rings. What of it?)
You shall not pass! I mean, let's answer some questions! Question the first!
Cary, you've seen more naked women than I. I've only seen myself. I have fine body hair everywhere...breasts, stomach, back, butt etc. Does everyone? It makes me so insecure and nervous that I think it actually holds me back from dating, because I fear someone might actually see me naked then and be turned off.
Wise Ass Cary says: Aw! I hate to hear that something so inconsequential has held you back from dating--not that we don't all have our quirks and insecurities that can similarly cloud our judgment. Isn't it funny how we can get hung up on one small thing about our appearance and let it threaten our confidence? (READ MORE)
Question Master Says: What sage advice thou does offer, o Wisest of Asses! I met a talking ass once on a moonlit night. Twas a donkey, I mean! Removest thou mind from the gutter immediately, lest ye face The Question Master's wrath! Anyway, do not worry about your body hair. He probably doesn't even notice. If it really bothers you, there's always electrolysis.
Question the Second!
Ive just learn't my boyfriend is sexual seeing other men, im devestated, but can't approach him with what i've learnt because i read his emails. If i confront him he'll know i've been looking into his email. I also found an ad on a gay website he put on. I can't eat or sleep since finding out and its killing me. Help!!
Girls BFF says: Um...yes you absolutely can tell your boyfriend that you found this out. Even if it is by reading his emails.
And do you know why, honey boo boo? (READ MORE)
Question Master Says: Sexually seeing other men?? Gay website ad?? Please tell us why thou hasn't kicketh him to the curb for being a cheating lout?!
Question the third!
Hey, I am tired of attracting guys who only want a one night stand. I barely go out and I don't dress slutty, but somehow when I think a guy is going to want more he doesn't. Do my douchebag detector skills suck ? or are there any things I can do that will subtly indicate that I want more ?
Mystery Man says: Something isn't adding up for me. You're not trolling bars or only wearing a thong out of the house. It's got to be the Douchebag Detector. It's probably grossly miscalibrated since you haven't (I'm guessing) had a nice boyfriend yet. Because you haven't experienced what it feels like to talk to and then date a really nice guy, you don't have a basis of comparison. (READ MORE)
Question Master says: The Question Master wishes he had a "douchebag detector." Maybe then he wouldn't hire jerky mouse apprentices who make his brooms dance and flood his conjuring room.
Next up, Chic Geek offers up the 10 ways a guy can show he cares online.
10. He changes his relationship status from single to "it's complicated" or (hopefully) "in a relationship."
9. He sends you a good morning pick-me-up email made entirely of Honey Boo Boo Child gifs.(READ MORE)
Question Master says: The Question Master cannot abide by "Honey Boo Boo Child." Her voices pierces the Question Master's soul worse than the fiery soul pit of Sargoth.
Question the fourth!
What's your stance on "nice guys finish last"? the few that i've "hungout" with were passive-aggressive people who always tried to play the victim. what gives?
Reformed Player says: Well, then I guess they weren't nice guys, then. Genuinely nice, generous people generally do not finish last. (READ MORE)
Question Master says: The Question Master never finishes last, whether it be at a potion making contest or during sexual congress with the Question Mistress.
Blog post of the week: Funny Guy's "Get the Following Things Done" is less a blog post and more a call to arms. Question Master plans to at least do numbers 6-10 post haste!
Tis the end of our Best of! The Question Master bids you adieu! Have a great weekend!
Previous Best Ofs:
Babies and Rejection City
Jealousy and Married People
That Time that Batman Guest-Edited the Best of the Week
Okay that's it. I cant hold it in
WHO IS HONEY BOO BOO!!!!!
Yuck! It's a very obnoxious beauty pageant contestant whose mom is a ridiculous woman who lacks authority and enjoys/aproves/encourages her little girl's disrespectful behaviour.