It's holiday season. That means that you're probably going to spend at least one holiday with the family of your boyfriend or girlfriend. Happy happy joy joy. The truth is, family time with the mate can be a painful experience. You can't be as free and lovey dovey as you want because you don't want to be the skanky girlfriend. And you REALLY don't want to the d-bag boyfriend that forces a few "we need to talk" moments from your girl's father. Lucky for you, I've got some tips.
1. Do not fondle, grope, or molest each other in the POSSIBLE presence of a parent
I know that out-of-town cheeks are exciting and that when feeling randy it's hard to keep your hands off one another. However, you're in papa bear's house now. Best muzzle it, Cujo. Mits off, Michelle. Especially in the hallways or in passing. Besides, it's way more fun to sneak around at midnight to get your shag on while hoping that nobody hears the floorboards creak.
2. Do not be standoffish towards siblings
Your best spokesman isn't your bf/gf, it's their brothers or sisters. If they think you're cool, they can handle all of the damage control you might need in case you got busted violating #1. But if you piss them off, may the rains of hell have mercy on your soul. I have three sisters, forgive them father for errant girlfriends knew not what they did. My sisters STILL clown ex's for being jackasses.
3. Always except something to drink
For some odd reason, people always want to offer you something to drink. Down south it's just rude not to accept it. You can even ask for water. This is especially true for older relatives. I guess they were just really thirsty in the roaring 20s and dry 30s. Me no know. Either way, polite is really a two way street. Respect their mason jars.
4. Be interesting and participate in discussions
This is kind of similar to #2, but the point of visiting with family (especially the first time) is so that they can get to know you. If you give up your opinion on a benign subject or on something that is non-controversial, the family will know that you have a brain and will respect that. Let me caution you, if pops is big on gun rights, popping off about the fact that gun junkies make you sick to your stomach is probably not the best way to go. Just shut your trap and go protest Charlton Heston on your own time.
5. Don't break anything
It's inevitable, if you break something, it will be a family heirloom. You won't break a pencil. You'll be breaking the pencil that Benjamin Franklin gave great-great-gooder-great grandpa right after he invented something. Sure it looked like a regular ole #2 pencil, but it wasn't. And you just killed history. Just be careful Smoothy McSmootherton.
I know that out-of-town cheeks are exciting and that when feeling randy it's hard to keep your hands off one another. However, you're in papa bear's house now. Best muzzle it, Cujo. Mits off, Michelle. Especially in the hallways or in passing. Besides, it's way more fun to sneak around at midnight to get your shag on while hoping that nobody hears the floorboards creak.
2. Do not be standoffish towards siblings
Your best spokesman isn't your bf/gf, it's their brothers or sisters. If they think you're cool, they can handle all of the damage control you might need in case you got busted violating #1. But if you piss them off, may the rains of hell have mercy on your soul. I have three sisters, forgive them father for errant girlfriends knew not what they did. My sisters STILL clown ex's for being jackasses.
3. Always except something to drink
For some odd reason, people always want to offer you something to drink. Down south it's just rude not to accept it. You can even ask for water. This is especially true for older relatives. I guess they were just really thirsty in the roaring 20s and dry 30s. Me no know. Either way, polite is really a two way street. Respect their mason jars.
4. Be interesting and participate in discussions
This is kind of similar to #2, but the point of visiting with family (especially the first time) is so that they can get to know you. If you give up your opinion on a benign subject or on something that is non-controversial, the family will know that you have a brain and will respect that. Let me caution you, if pops is big on gun rights, popping off about the fact that gun junkies make you sick to your stomach is probably not the best way to go. Just shut your trap and go protest Charlton Heston on your own time.
5. Don't break anything
It's inevitable, if you break something, it will be a family heirloom. You won't break a pencil. You'll be breaking the pencil that Benjamin Franklin gave great-great-gooder-great grandpa right after he invented something. Sure it looked like a regular ole #2 pencil, but it wasn't. And you just killed history. Just be careful Smoothy McSmootherton.
Great advice, Panama! Hopefully, I can pull off Thanksgiving with the BF's family this year...wish me luck.
I always forget you crazy Americans have your Thanksgiving at this time of year.
October is the best time for Thanksgiving.
When do you have Halloween??
Also in October.
Thanksgiving in Canada is held on the second Monday of October. And actually was celebrated differently from the Americans up until after the American Revolution, when Americans loyal to Britain moved up here, and shared your thanksgiving customs with us.
It's also earlier because since 1931 Thanksgiving became a holiday for celebrating the Harvest, and Canadian harvest is in October rather than November.
Halloween is the same date, October 31st. I like Thanksgiving in October because it's so far away from Christmas, so it's not like a kick-off to the Christmas season, like it sort of is in the states. Also, it is my favourite holiday, so however much earlier in the year it is the better.
Solid advice, Mr Jackson. The idea is to let the family get to know you, and be assured that it's not some douchebag making sex at their daughter. Unless you are a douchebag. In which case, it's probably not a good idea to let on that you're a terrible person.
But I kid. #2 is especially important; my sisters also still give me a ribbing for some of my exes they've met.
I'd like to add another one at this point - when in need of the bathroom or shower, and I can't stress this enough, ALWAYS KNOCK!! The law of nature states that the one time you assume it's your sweetheart in the shower, you're guaranteed to be unable to look somebody in the eye for the rest of the holiday.
n°2 is very important IMHO. We can be assure that once we have passed the door, the familly will talk about us; the siblings are our best allies vs the usually more protective parents. Especially the mothers in law for us gals. They sometimes never accept us as good enough for their oh so perfect son.
n°5 is a big deal for clumsy me. But it actually applies anywhere I go...
I have to say that for the past few of hours i have been hooked by the impressive posts on this site. Keep up the good work.
I have to say that for the past few of hours i have been hooked by the amazing posts on this website. Keep up the great work.
hahha I agree