There's a special love reserved for a sibling. There's also a special hatred, resentment and agony.
This post serves to explore what kind of sibling relationship best describes you and yours. Naturally, I will turn to sibling pairs from Hollywood (and Iraq) to illustrate the different prototypes in hopes to more easily facilitate this conversation. Please note, these are just archetypes; in some cases, you and your amazing brother or shithe*d sister will fall under a few of these examples...
Feel free to comment with additional sibling dynamics and famous sibs that express your family model.
Angelina Jolie and James Haven -- It has been over 10 years since the world witnessed the massive icky of brother and sister smooch at the Oscars. But it still replays in our collective mind, every so often, like a Kim Kardashian sex tape. Here we see the paradigm of an (off to-the side) brother and (spotlight) sister whose affection and adoration for each other is so rich it borders on Holy Crap. Blood is blood, but surely there are other people you want to tongue after getting an award, no?
How do you guys match up: These are sibling pairs who are always hugging on each other, snuggle during TV, pick at each other's plates of food and have no qualms sharing a twin bed on a road trip.
Baldwin Brothers - The "Talented Elder" brother; the "Really There's Four of Them?" brother; the "Handsome But Blah" brother; and the "Struggling Baby Misfit" brother. Alec, Daniel, Billy and Stephen. All play their roles, but only one gets the great ones. Can you imagine the awkward catch-up around the Christmas table? "Hey, Alec congrats on that 19th Emmy and Oscar hosting." "Thanks, Daniel. I didn't realize you were even here. Hey, Stephen stop sipping mom's nail polish remover!! And Billy, why are you still walking around everywhere with a Sliver poster? That was 1993, dude!"
How do you guys match up:
Here we have the kind of siblings that sort of work together as a whole, but with even the slightest analysis reveals gross inequity, rivalry, and identity wars. Maybe a situation where you and your brother are both in high school and you're known strictly as "Alec's Little Sister."
Olsen Twins - Two perfectly cute kids, popular, "equal," identical and made to think as much. As these siblings get older, they rebel a bit, one tears away, gets a bit druggy, a bit sluty -- and becomes the identified "Wild Child". The other keeps it steady, and low key. Then, they seemingly retire that phase, and continue profiting and exploiting their twinsyness to amazing heights.
How do you guys match up: The twin chicks or boys who grew up wearing the same clothes, and got off on finishing each other's sentences, sucking each other's thumbs and creating secret languages. Perhaps you are such a twin? A power team, that for the most part capitalizes on your "two is greater than one" thoery and takes that all the way to the bank, or the prom, or the dance club or a cushy job at the local bank.
Uday and Qusay Hussein - Better known as Saddam's sons. Were both gunned down by the US military after barricading themselves into some compound during the Iraq war. Two men, two years apart, both vying for their father's love and admiration, and respect. It's a common story, made all the more poignant by the fact that these two lads were competing by who could kill, imprison and torture more of their population in the years prior to their death. Sure you can say Uday was the chosen child. He was older and the heir apparent, but a closer look at Qusay's war crimes reveal he really didn't play second mustache to anyone.
How do you guys match up: Here we have siblings, who live to keep the family business strong and thriving. Whether it be the family shoe store, the cupcake shop on Main Street or the Bank of America, family comes first and sibling A and B run like dogs, chasing Daddy's dangling carrot.
Liam and Noel Gallagher - Two talented lads, creating great music (Oasis), making tons of money, internationally praised for the most part, who hate each other so violently they derail every few years and eventually call it quits. This pair shows just how deep the sibling to sibling loathing can go. Noel literally asked himself a question most of us ask in a drinking game: Which would you rather? Keep being in one of the biggest bands of all time, or end it because you hate the other guy in the band who happens to be your brother?
How do you guys match up: Siblings, who are gifted with talent and resources, but go their own way because they want to shove a sock filled with lead in the other's mouth as soon as they open up their stupid lips. No bit of family intervention, counseling or family slide show, can thaw the ice and make these two play nice.
Owen and Luke Wilson - Here we have what appears to be a fairly healthy dynamic. This is mainly because the players on this sibling team are each individually talented, seemingly confident and different enough to make it work. In other words, there isn't a scarcity of resources here so both Owen and Luke can have careers that don't tread on the other. They are both within a few percentage points of each other in terms of looks, humor and charm; so it works. Of course nobody knows what really happens around the Wilson's table each Yom Kippur, but my sense is what we see is what we get.
How do you guys match up: Two brothers, who get a kick out of each other, enjoy teaming up on projects here and there and enjoy the fruits of their individual and shared fruit salads.
Beyonce and Solange - An out and out tough one. When the see-saw is this unbalanced, sh*t gets sad. Especially when the sibling pair is the same gender. Beyonce: international icon, gorgeous, talented; Truly the queen of an empire and pop/R&B era. And sitting next to her at the Knowles camp fire sing-along: Solange. Wearing a weird dress here and there, picking her afro out to create a blip on the media screen and putting on a happy face. For the most part it seems Solange has that "if you can't beat 'em, smile and do your own (totally similar) thing." Still, somewhere deep inside it has got be Destiny's Nightmare. Instead of going into microbiology or competitive fly fishing, Solange is a singer model, actress and DJ. Really? Are you sure you don't love dentistry?
How do you guys match up: The golden child and bronze sibling. It need not be on the international stage; maybe it is in the realm of science, or athletics or military service. But here we have the dynamic of hands down rock star and a mild pebble. Doing their thing. Side by side, but on two different playing fields.
So, who are you guys? Any of these sibling pairs: Angie and bro; the Baldwin boys, Mary-Kate & Ash; the Husseins; The Gallaghers, The Wilson, BEYONCE and Solange
Or, share your own.
This post serves to explore what kind of sibling relationship best describes you and yours. Naturally, I will turn to sibling pairs from Hollywood (and Iraq) to illustrate the different prototypes in hopes to more easily facilitate this conversation. Please note, these are just archetypes; in some cases, you and your amazing brother or shithe*d sister will fall under a few of these examples...
Feel free to comment with additional sibling dynamics and famous sibs that express your family model.
Angelina Jolie and James Haven -- It has been over 10 years since the world witnessed the massive icky of brother and sister smooch at the Oscars. But it still replays in our collective mind, every so often, like a Kim Kardashian sex tape. Here we see the paradigm of an (off to-the side) brother and (spotlight) sister whose affection and adoration for each other is so rich it borders on Holy Crap. Blood is blood, but surely there are other people you want to tongue after getting an award, no?
How do you guys match up: These are sibling pairs who are always hugging on each other, snuggle during TV, pick at each other's plates of food and have no qualms sharing a twin bed on a road trip.
Baldwin Brothers - The "Talented Elder" brother; the "Really There's Four of Them?" brother; the "Handsome But Blah" brother; and the "Struggling Baby Misfit" brother. Alec, Daniel, Billy and Stephen. All play their roles, but only one gets the great ones. Can you imagine the awkward catch-up around the Christmas table? "Hey, Alec congrats on that 19th Emmy and Oscar hosting." "Thanks, Daniel. I didn't realize you were even here. Hey, Stephen stop sipping mom's nail polish remover!! And Billy, why are you still walking around everywhere with a Sliver poster? That was 1993, dude!"
How do you guys match up:
Here we have the kind of siblings that sort of work together as a whole, but with even the slightest analysis reveals gross inequity, rivalry, and identity wars. Maybe a situation where you and your brother are both in high school and you're known strictly as "Alec's Little Sister."
Olsen Twins - Two perfectly cute kids, popular, "equal," identical and made to think as much. As these siblings get older, they rebel a bit, one tears away, gets a bit druggy, a bit sluty -- and becomes the identified "Wild Child". The other keeps it steady, and low key. Then, they seemingly retire that phase, and continue profiting and exploiting their twinsyness to amazing heights.
How do you guys match up: The twin chicks or boys who grew up wearing the same clothes, and got off on finishing each other's sentences, sucking each other's thumbs and creating secret languages. Perhaps you are such a twin? A power team, that for the most part capitalizes on your "two is greater than one" thoery and takes that all the way to the bank, or the prom, or the dance club or a cushy job at the local bank.
Uday and Qusay Hussein - Better known as Saddam's sons. Were both gunned down by the US military after barricading themselves into some compound during the Iraq war. Two men, two years apart, both vying for their father's love and admiration, and respect. It's a common story, made all the more poignant by the fact that these two lads were competing by who could kill, imprison and torture more of their population in the years prior to their death. Sure you can say Uday was the chosen child. He was older and the heir apparent, but a closer look at Qusay's war crimes reveal he really didn't play second mustache to anyone.
How do you guys match up: Here we have siblings, who live to keep the family business strong and thriving. Whether it be the family shoe store, the cupcake shop on Main Street or the Bank of America, family comes first and sibling A and B run like dogs, chasing Daddy's dangling carrot.
Liam and Noel Gallagher - Two talented lads, creating great music (Oasis), making tons of money, internationally praised for the most part, who hate each other so violently they derail every few years and eventually call it quits. This pair shows just how deep the sibling to sibling loathing can go. Noel literally asked himself a question most of us ask in a drinking game: Which would you rather? Keep being in one of the biggest bands of all time, or end it because you hate the other guy in the band who happens to be your brother?
How do you guys match up: Siblings, who are gifted with talent and resources, but go their own way because they want to shove a sock filled with lead in the other's mouth as soon as they open up their stupid lips. No bit of family intervention, counseling or family slide show, can thaw the ice and make these two play nice.
Owen and Luke Wilson - Here we have what appears to be a fairly healthy dynamic. This is mainly because the players on this sibling team are each individually talented, seemingly confident and different enough to make it work. In other words, there isn't a scarcity of resources here so both Owen and Luke can have careers that don't tread on the other. They are both within a few percentage points of each other in terms of looks, humor and charm; so it works. Of course nobody knows what really happens around the Wilson's table each Yom Kippur, but my sense is what we see is what we get.
How do you guys match up: Two brothers, who get a kick out of each other, enjoy teaming up on projects here and there and enjoy the fruits of their individual and shared fruit salads.
Beyonce and Solange - An out and out tough one. When the see-saw is this unbalanced, sh*t gets sad. Especially when the sibling pair is the same gender. Beyonce: international icon, gorgeous, talented; Truly the queen of an empire and pop/R&B era. And sitting next to her at the Knowles camp fire sing-along: Solange. Wearing a weird dress here and there, picking her afro out to create a blip on the media screen and putting on a happy face. For the most part it seems Solange has that "if you can't beat 'em, smile and do your own (totally similar) thing." Still, somewhere deep inside it has got be Destiny's Nightmare. Instead of going into microbiology or competitive fly fishing, Solange is a singer model, actress and DJ. Really? Are you sure you don't love dentistry?
How do you guys match up: The golden child and bronze sibling. It need not be on the international stage; maybe it is in the realm of science, or athletics or military service. But here we have the dynamic of hands down rock star and a mild pebble. Doing their thing. Side by side, but on two different playing fields.
So, who are you guys? Any of these sibling pairs: Angie and bro; the Baldwin boys, Mary-Kate & Ash; the Husseins; The Gallaghers, The Wilson, BEYONCE and Solange
Or, share your own.
Liam and Noel all the way, my brother and I can't be in the same state long before there's a serious melt down. It's not that we don't love each other or don't ask mom how the other is doing but we cannot be near each other
i'm an only child :p i totally just ruined your crazy sibling theories ;) (just kidding, plus i know many siblings who can be matched to a few of these)
Me and my bro are totally the Baldwin brothers. :p We get along okay, but we get jealous of each other easily....
lol great blog! i have both an older brother and younger sister, they are each my best friends in their own unique ways whether they are making me wet my pants laughing or hugging through a victory. so i dont know really where we fall here, we are also still as competitive with each other as we were when we were kids though. we cant play board games with each other without wanting to kick someone's ass, but if we teamed up and play against another team we are pretty merciless lol but i am grateful and feel blessed, i know not everybody is so fortunate to have those relationshps.
My brother and I are friends before siblings, and he's the greatest. DEFINITELY not the Angelina/James dynamic, just best friends.
I'm gonna go ahead and defend Solange since no one else will. Yeah, fine, she's also a singer, but her music is pretty different. (She's the Beau Bridges to Beyonce's Jeff.) Less pop R&B, more soulful '70s R&B mixed with '60s girl-group stuff. Beyonce is a good performer, but for my money, she's never done anything as good as Solange's "Would've Been the One."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJZimTsHy5Y