1. Victoria's Secret/Bed, Bath, and Beyond Bath Set

It's a forgone conclusion that people like to be clean. This is great. However a gift dedicated to cleanliness really sends the wrong signal. And that signal isn't that you want them to be cleaner, it's that you had no idea what else to get that lady in your life. Those prepackaged bath sets are for Secret Santas and nieces you haven't seen in ten years.The point is, if you have a girlfriend, making a card out of construction paper will be a better gift than this.

2. A NOW! Compilation Music CD

I hate compilation CD's generally unless they're mood specific. A Christmas compilation album. Okay, that's great. Listening to the Jackson 5 and then Frank Sinatra sing about Christmas is good look. It's seasonal. However, buying one of those NOW! album for somebody is like saying, "I'm sure you like music, I hear you sing on occasion and you've never said that you hate music, but I really couldn't tell you anything about your musical tastes. And yo, what's a Van Morrison? A Toyota?"

3. Tools

For some odd reason, women assume that all men like tools. This is not true. You only get a man a tool he's asked for. Period. What the f*ck do I ned a buzz saw for? I don't have a garage and I don't even like cutting grass. In fact, I don't have grass. I live on the 11th floor of a building full of condos. Know your audience. And know that this doesn't say, "I care, it says I stopped by Sears and somebody convinced me that all men want these."

4. Non-requested Book About Randomness

Follow me on this one. Everybody doesn't like coffeetable books. Some people like to only put coffee on their coffeetable. In fact, some people have no interest in all of the things you can do with duct tape. Crazy right? I thought EVERYBODY gave a flying fig about duct tape. Turns out it's not true. Though, I guess if you knew anything about your mate you could have gotten them a book that spoke to their interests instead of a book full of pictures of penguins.

5. A book written by Steve Harvey

6. An ab roller or any random fitness equipment

I'll bet you $100 bucks that your girl does not want a shake weight...for Christmas. People say they intend to get healthy all through the year. Now you want to listen? You're going to waste $29.99 on an item that sends the message they need to get in gear? It's like you listened to one sentence they ever said, "I need to get in shape." And then ran hogwild. Stop it.

7. Tie

Ties are iffy category. They can be pretty expensive but it's standard issue manfare. What thought is necessary to know a working man needs a tie? That's some last resort, I can't think of anything gifting right there. Stop it.

8. Calendar

Congratulations, you just reminded them that next year is coming.

9. Scarf and Mittens/Gloves

While it definitely says I care about your wellbeing and want you to be warm, it also says, I couldn't think of any other way to show that I cared about your well-being. Unless of course they really need them.

10. Gift Certificate

If this is the only gift you get them, you clearly have no clue and haven't been paying any attention to their likes, dislikes, and/or interests. Stop it.

By the way, most of this applies if it's the ONLY gift you get somebody. You could totally throw any of these in as some supplementary material. But any combination of these things is the Gift Basket of Indifference.